Downwards Spiral
by lollzie
Summary: A story on how a simple boxing injury can completely change a person's life for the worse. This is Jason Roscoe's downward spiral. All trigger warnings are inside
1. Chapter 1

**So am I the only loving the Roscoes? Course I'm not, they're fab. This is my first Hollyoaks fanfiction, but the idea just jumped out to me as soon as the family arrived. **

**This story is going to get dark and eating disorders, depression and sucicide will all be included, so if anyone feels like they may be triggered, please don't read! I can't stress that enough. **

**Anyway, happy reading and I hope everyone enjoys the ride! **

_Thump Thump_

He'd always been quite small. Scrawny even. Especially compared to his brothers, they were all taller or broader than him, it was probably why everyone saw him as the vulnerable one, the weakest out of his brothers.

They said it was because he was the youngest, but that wasn't even true. Robbie was the youngest in the family, only by ten minutes but still. Then again, if anyone tried to baby Robbie, he'd probably snap their heads off. His twin wasn't the most approachable person in the world.

_Thump Thump_

It had been better when he was younger, the pair of them had been practically inseparable as children, right until they started secondary school. They were both in different classes, only sharing a games lesson every Wednesday afternoon. It made it difficult to hang out, and they'd quickly fallen into different social groups.

Within time Robbie was out drinking every week and getting into trouble. Robbing shops for example. It still baffled him why he had done that, but Jason had stopped questioning his brother a long time ago. He was just glad that his mum had finally forgiven him and had let him move back in for the the start of the new school year.

_Thump Thump_

Robbie was on his best behaviour, he hadn't dared to get in to trouble again, but he was still going out every so often with Callum or Finn, sneaking into the club or hanging out in the folley, a few drinks at hand.

Whilst Robbie was out, Jason chose to spend his nights at home. As he hadn't started school yet, he didn't really know anyone his age, his diabetes had made it hard too. Unlike his brothers he couldn't go out drinking when he felt like it, couldn't eat what he want when he wanted. Truth be told, he hated his _illness._

_Thump Thump_

Ever since he was 11, it had controlled him. Everything he did had to be centred around it, and it always would be. His brothers were all so carefree, not having to control what went into their bodies. He was probably lucky that they all cared about their appearance so much.

They all ate somewhat healthily and usually didn't drink too much, which did make it easier on him. After all he wasn't surrounded by temptations that could land him in the hospital.

_Thump Thump_

He'd even start filling out a bit in the last year or so. Both Freddy and Ziggy practically lived at the gym and more often than not, one of them would drag him along too. And that's when he had started boxing.

Ziggy had dragged him along to a few classes at their old gym just over a year ago, a usual occurance. At least once a month, Ziggy would discover a new sport that would make him 'look even better' and start taking handful of classes before growing bored and finding some new to grab his attention, more often then not, dragging along Jason. (Jason's personal favourite had been zumba. He had refused to even step foot in the dance room, choosing instead to record Ziggy with his camera).

It turned out he was actually half decent at boxing though (better than he was with pilates anyway) and when Ziggy had gotten bored and moved on, Jason had stuck to it, liking the results that had slowly appeared.

_Thump Thump _

His mum hadn't gotten him gloves for Christmas, his favourite gift of that year by far. Even though he had boxed regularly, he could still be considered the runt of the litter, and had made himself the promise to keep at it, until he vaguely resembled the rest of the family. To be a real Roscoe.

It was why had been so upset when he was told they were moving, realising he would have to quit his favourite sport. However the realisation that there would be a gym right on the doorstep (hopefully with boxing space and equipment) and the promise of Joe installing a boxing bag in the garage had kept him quiet and somewhat docile about the move (unlike Robbie who had pitched a fit and had gotten himself expelled within a day).

_Thump Thump_

"Are you ever gonna finish back there Jase?" Joe called, from where he was working on a small car in the front of the garage, exchanging a smile with Freddie as he continued boxing lightly. "I know you like your new toy, but you're going to have to get some work done soon."

"Can't expect to get paid if you're just gonna skive," Robbie yelled, interrupting before Jason could reply.

"Says the one who's spent the majority of his time on his arse." he replied, panting heavily between each word, keeping his movements up and the punches regular.

"Oi, less of the cheek," Robbie retorted. "I think you'll find I'm answering the phone,"

"Yes, because the phone's been ringing non-stop hasn't- ahhh!" Jason was cut off, as he felt a sharp pain erupt from his hand when he punched the bag. Within seconds all four of his brothers had gathered round him, their concern apparent as he tried to bite back even more cries of pain.

"Jase, what is it? What's wrong?"

"My hand," He grimaced, bringing it up and wincing at the swelling. "I hit the bag funny,"

"Ziggy go get the icepack from the fridge" Joe ordered, taking Jason's hand and looking at it closely. "We'll have to get you to A&E. No need to roll your eyes, it may be nothing but we both know that mum would kills us if we didn't get it checked out at least."

"Fine," Jason finally gasped, taking the pack Ziggy had provided and gently wrapping it around his swollen hand.

"I'll take you," Joe said, grabbing his coat from the side. "You three should stay here, but call mum for us would you?"

Robbie looked ready to protest, but simply nodded at the warning looks he received from both Freddy and Ziggy.

As Joe and Jason drove off, Robbie took his mobile out of his overalls and dialled Sandy's number. She picked up after three rings. "What is it sweetie? I'm a bit busy."

"You're not going to like this mum,"

"You okay J?" Joe asked, as Jason made another small grimace. The pair of them had been waiting for just over five minutes, waiting for a doctor to become free. Luckily, the waiting room was practically empty, meaning they wouldn't have to wait for much longer. Probably a good thing too, Joe noted. Although Jason wasn't making a fuss, it was apparent he was in pain.

"Jason Roscoe?" A young nurse called from the front desk. Jason stood up, cradling his injured hand and turned to Joe, who had gone to stand up too.

"I can go on my own, I'm a big boy now." his brother sat back, hands up in mock surrender. Jason turned back, walking over to the nurse where she then directed him to a small doctor's office. A small balding man was sat behind a large desk, looking over the form that Jason had filled in when he'd arrived.

"Hello Jason, I'm Doctor Redfield,"

He nodded in acknowledgement, before sitting on the small uncomfortable chair that the doctor had motioned him to take a seat on.

"So what can I do for you?"

Jason then went onto explain what had happened in the garage. "I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing, I hit the bag funny."

The doctor examined his hand, not seeming fazed by the impressive swelling that had occurred in the past half hour. "Can you move your fingers?" Jason complied, flinching as he did so.

"It's seems like you have a boxers fracture. It's quite common really, but you need an x-ray to be sure. I'll get it organised for you now,"

"Cheers doc," Jason smiled, as Redfield started dialling.

"You're in luck, one of our rooms are free. It won't take a moment to do," He said, placing the phone back into it's cradle. The pair left the small office, making their way to the x-ray department in a stilted silence.

"I need you to remove any clothing or jewellery that may be covering your hand and wrist." The doctor informed Jason, talking the technician in low tones as Jason gently removed his hoodie, trying not to knock his hand any more than necessary.

He placed his hand on the small screen when motioned to do so. The technician fiddled with the settings of the machine, calibrating it in no time.

Overall the x-ray took less than two minutes to complete, and once done both the technician and the doctor re-entered the room. "Thank you Jason. The results should be through within the next fifteen minutes. Feel free to get back to the waiting room if you want to be with your family."

"Cheers doc," Jason nodded, making his way back to the waiting room. When he arrived, he noticed Joe looking back and up and down from the clock on the wall, the worry become more and more obvious on his face. Smiling slightly as his brother overprotective nature, Jason made his way back over.

"Everything all right?" Joe asked, before he could even sit back down.

"Dunno yet, they reckon it's a boxers fracture, but they need the x-ray to come through first,"

"All right. You want some more ice for your hand?" Joe asked, getting ready to stand up and go ask for some from the canteen.

"Nah you're all right. I think the swelling's going down anyway," that was a complete lie. If anything it was getting worse, he was getting some nice bruising to go with it too.

"Right okay then, you know-" before Joe could continue, Sandy Roscoe swooped into the waiting room, hugging Jason tightly when she sat down.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't be here earlier baby," she said, letting him go. "Robbie explained what happened but he wasn't very clear."

Joe then went onto explain what had happened and just as he was telling Sandy what the doctors thought it was, the same nurse from before called Jason over. Once he was seated in the small doctor's office, Redfield gave him the x-ray photos to look over.

"Just as I thought I'm afraid, luckily the bone is still aligned which means you won't need any surgery and the recovery time is much shorter. You're going to need a cast though, and it'll take around eight weeks to heal, of course during that time you won't be able to do any exercise as it could agitate your injury even further."

Jason nodded, still looking at the x-ray of his hand, before making his way to another small room to have his cast applied. As he was waiting for the cast to dry, the doctor further explained about his injury, although he was only half listening.

These next few weeks would be gruelling he could just tell. The college had just let out for summer and normally he would spend most of his time working in the garage or boxing, although that was now impossible.

Another thing that was concerned him was the most worrying. It was stupid he knew, but the thought kept going round and round as the doctor rambled next to him. With no exercise for the next couple of months, what would happen to his body? When he had been first diagnosed with diabetes, he had quickly gained a noticeable amount of weight in a relatively short time due to the insulin. He'd started running regularly and then had started boxing, which to his delight got rid of the weight and had kept it off.

Without that, would it all come piling back? He felt like a girl for worrying about such a stupid and shallow thing, but his brothers teasing still rung loud in his ears, even if it was over 6 years ago. Before he could think up a solution, the doctor lightly tapped him on the shoulder, shaking him out of his thoughts.

"Well I've finished up here. I'll make another appointment for you and get someone to call you, though like I said earlier, it probably won't be for eight weeks at least. If you have any problems feel free to call though, and we'll get everything looked at."

"Right, cheers doc," Jason nodded, frowning at the slight numbness in his hand that the cast had already started causing. He thanked Doctor Redfield once more before leaving to get back to the waiting room.

As Jason had predicated, Sandy spent the rest of the afternoon fretting around him, giving him cup after cup of tea whilst not letting him leave the sofa. Joe had gone back to the garage once they left the hospital and as he and his three brothers stampeded through the door, all rushing to the kitchen for some food and a look at the take-away menu, Jason managed to slip away to his room.

Another take-away. _Great_ he thought to himself. Although Lindsey could cook, both her and Joe were going on a romantic meal that night, meaning everyone else was left with Sandy's cooking or a Chinese. The choice was obvious.

Another thing that was obvious was why Jason had gained so much weight the last time. His insulin with the crappy diet he was surrounded with constantly, well he was surprised that he wasn't the size of a house.

"You want the usual Jase?" Freddie called from downstairs.

"Yeah sure," he called automatically, already hating himself at the thought of all that fatty food that would soon be in him. It made him feel sick at the thought of it. He could just picture it though, the cast would have just come off by the time school started up again, and he knew that he would be relentlessly teased if he didn't do anything to help the current situation.

He would be a new kid too, and being Robbie Roscoe's twin meant he had a lot to live up to, after all everyone knew the two were related and all eyes would be on him to see if there were any similarities. He knew this, because it always happened. Kids were cruel too, and from what he had already heard, the kids here were no better, maybe even worse.

If he had gained an extra twenty pounds minimum, his case really wouldn't be helped.

But how could he help himself? After all, the weight would probably still pile on if he ate next to nothing (he'd already tried that before he started exercising religiously) but there had to be something.

Sighing, he lay on his bed, aimlessly looking around his room for any form of inspiration. That was when it caught his eye. His insulin case was lying on the desk and an idea began forming in his mind.

He gained weight because of the insulin, so surely, if he didn't take the insulin he wouldn't be gain anything over the next few weeks and maybe even lose some. He knew the idea was stupid as soon as he thought it, but it was tempting. After all, he only fell into that coma the other week because he didn't take any insulin, but surely if he restricted his intake to one or two shots a day out of the six needed he'd be fine?

And anyway, he'd start taking it regularly when the cast was off and he could go back to normal, it was only a temporary thing, so no harm could be caused in just eight weeks. Right? Decision made, Jason ignored his case as he made his way back downstairs for dinner. What was the worst that could happen?

**I'm afraid it's only going to get worse for poor Jason. As some of you may have realised, this story is going to be mainly focusing on diabulimia (an eating disorder when someone with type 1 diabetes stops/restricts taking their insulin) **

**Now I don't have diabetes so all the information I have got is from what I've found when researching for this story (which there has been a lot of) but I'm not perfect and I may have gotten something wrong or missed something out. If this happens, feel free to review or message me with what you believe I need to include or need to change and I'll do it straight away. **

**I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter, they'll be more coming soon. **


	2. Chapter 2

It had been four days. Four long days since Jason had started restricting his insulin to two jabs a day instead of the normal six and he felt like absolute shit. His mood had dropped considerably and he'd snapped at everyone at least once, though they'd put it down to his fracture and annoyance at being stuck with a cast for two months, so had let him snap and pretty much left him to it. He'd lost six pounds though, so he guessed it was worth it.

Trying to suppress a yawn, Jason flicked through the book in the garage. "We've got two services this afternoon," he informed Joe, yawning again. Had he mentioned that it felt like he hadn't slept in a week.

"Right," Joe nodded. "Late night last night? You look exhausted mate."

"Are you kidding?" Robbie called from where he was tending to a small Clio. "Jase was snoring as soon as the lights were off. I should be the one who's tired."

"It's this desk job," Jason lied smoothly. "The phone rings once every other hour if I'm lucky and I'm too _young_ to do paperwork. I'm going mental here Joe,"

"You can get us some coffees then golden boy," Ziggy said, sauntering into the garage from whatever bed he'd found himself in the previous night. "Two sugars if you please,"

He rolled his eyes, but when Joe gave him enough money his made his way over to the small coffee shop, making sure not to rush. There was little to do in the garage, everyone was too paranoid about him ruining his damn cast.

College coffee was only a ten minute walk away, even if you dawdled, and Jason soon found himself ordering the five coffees, along with two bottles of water for himself (he'd also been incredibly thirsty recently). He downed an entire bottle as soon as he was out of the coffee shop, his thirst slightly quenched but his throat still felt dry.

"Someone's thirsty," an amused voice caught his attention. Spinning around, Jason saw Holly leaning against the small fence.

"Oh urm, these they're not all for me," Jason stammered. "I mean that'd be stupid, excessive even. My brothers, I mean they're for the others, my brothers."

"What? So you're the coffee boy?" Holly asked, sauntering over, arching a perfectly sculpted brow with ease.

"No, no of course not. I urm, I broke my hand, well a fracture really but, urm yeah." Jason trailed off, holding out his injured hand for Holly to see the cast.

Holly nodded, frowning in confusion at Jason, as if she had never seen a socially awkward teen before. Then again, she probably had higher standards, Jason thought bitterly. He picked up the coffees, getting ready to make his way back to the garage. "Jason!" Holly's voice stopped him in his tracks. He turned and she jogged over to him, her golden hair flying behind her. "What time does your garage close?"

"Around six," he replied, not sure where her questioning was going to end up.

"And you all finish around then too?"

"Give or take ten minutes." Was she? No, she couldn't be. It must be the lack of insulin because it sounded like Holly was going to ask him out on a-

"Okay, can you tell Robbie to meet me at the Deli then? Cheers,"

Oh.

She smiled and walked off, not even looking back once as he started walking once more, muttering furiously to himself. "No problem. I'd love to."

At that moment, Jason hated his cast more than ever, because he'd give anything to punch something. Preferably a wall. Or Robbie's face.

Of course Holly would ask after Robbie. He was the funny twin. The charismatic, interesting, _good-looking_ one. Everyone always chose Robbie, why would this time be any different. And it stung, the rejection always did.

There was something wrong with him, he knew it. He stopped as he passed a window and stared at his reflection. There wasn't something wrong, everything was wrong. His eyes were a dull dark brown and his mousy hair was incredibly limp if left natural. His lips were too small and thin for his face, but they weren't the worst parts. His cast stuck out horrifically and just drew emphasis to his weedy arms. His t-shirt was straining at the buttons, and not in a good 'I have lots of muscles' way either.

Those six pounds had changed nothing, but within time it would. His jeans were already looser on him and he couldn't help the thrill that ran through him as he had to tighten his belt that morning. There was still a long way to go, but hopefully by the time he got the cast off, his body would be on the way to perfect.

There was too much fat at the moment and any muscle was completely submerged by it, but if he lost the fat, then the muscle would be much easier to see and everything would be good.

He smiled slightly at the thoughts that ran through his head, excited for the future and what he would look like, when he realised that he had been gone for almost half an hour and that his brothers would be wondering where he'd gone.

He jogged back to the garage, drinking his second water bottle on the way and trying not to jostle the coffees or his arm. "Jason's back!" He heard Freddie call when he entered the small car park in front of the garage. "No need to worry,"

"You took your time," Ziggy said, taking the nearest coffee and drinking a large mouthful. He promptly spit it out on to the floor, before looking at Jason accusingly. "That ain't my drink,"

"No it's not. This is yours, that was mine."

"Since when you just had plain black then?"  
_Since I realised there's like no calories in it. _

"I don't know, just felt like a change I guess."

"Right, this change include drinking cold coffee?" Robbie spat venomously. "They're stone cold. What were you doing you muppet?"

"I just got distracted all right," Jason shouted, his patience snapping. "If you don't like it you can get your own fucking drink next time. I'm not a bloody coffee boy."

The garage was silent was a few seconds, as Jason tried to calm himself down, whilst the others stared at him in a shocked silence.

"We never said you were J," Joe said, his voice quiet and reassuring, placing his hand on Jason's arm. "You've had a weird few days, why don't you go home and calm down." He sighed, but Jason knew his eldest brother was right so grabbed his jacket from the side, and left the garage quickly.

"Did you have to rile him up like that?" Joe's voice was clear, even when he was halfway down the drive.

"I don't know why you're looking at me like that," Robbie retorted moodily. "I didn't do nothing."

"You didn't do anything to help though." Ziggy cut in before anything else could be said. "J's been in a mood since he broke his hand, but you're fuelling it."

Robbie said something else and Freddie swiftly replied, but Jason was too far to hear what had been said. He wasn't too far to hear the laughter coming from the garage though.

_They're talking about you_

_Laughing as you waddle down the road_

_They've probably just noticed that if you fell, you'd start rolling. _

Fighting back tears, Jason began running again, getting away from the laughter that wouldn't leave his head, just falling in time with the steady beats of his feet hitting the ground.

He slammed the house door loudly behind him when he got back, breathing loudly at the twenty minute run he'd just completed.

"Hello? Joe is that you?" Lindsey's voice ran through the house. She stopped when she noticed Jason by the door. "Jason? Are you ok? You look a bit upset."

"M'fine," he mumbled, climbing the stairs in two, and almost pushing past his brother's fiancée in his hurry. He slammed the bedroom door behind him and collapsed onto his bed, falling asleep in seconds as he let the fatigue wash over him.

He didn't know how long he'd been asleep for. It felt like nothing, but the fact that both his mother and Robbie were in the room meant that it was past six and that he had been sleeping for at least five hours.

"Jason? Are you okay sweetie?" Sandy asked, her voice full of concern.

"Yeah," Jason said, sitting up and stretching as he did so.

"You worried Robbie, said he came in and you didn't even stir. We was scared you'd fallen into another coma."

"Mum!" Robbie exclaimed indigently, his cheeks turning a light red colour.

"Lindsey said you were asleep when she checked on you earlier too." Sandy said, ignoring Robbie's embarrassment. "You're not coming down with anything are you?"

"I'm fine mum," Jason replied, sharing a glance with Robbie, the pair simultaneously smirking at her over-protectiveness. "Was just a bit tired."

"Remember to take your insulin Jason, if you've been asleep since Lindsey said, you won't have taken any in a while."

"Right mum," he said, grabbing his case from the top drawer, hoping that both Robbie and Sandy would leave the room. When he realised that neither had the intention of moving, he turned to Robbie and slapped his forehead lightly.

"Holly was asking after you earlier. She told me to tell you to meet her at the Deli after you finish at the garage."

Robbie moved away from the wardrobe, lightly glaring at Jason. "You tell me this now? Holly's probably been and gone, I've been back for an hour."

"Sorry mate, I just remembered."  
"You wouldn't be going out anyway" Sandy warned. "You're still on probation Robbie and I don't want you getting into any more trouble, which includes sneaking out, because I'll send you back to your aunt's permanently."

"Yes mum," Robbie said, rolling his eyes with added emphasis.

"And enough of your cheek too," she retorted, lightly clipping him around the ear. "You finished Jason?"

"Almost," he sighed, coming to the realisation that neither were going to leave till he took the insulin. Wincing as he checked his blood sugar, Jason measured out the dose, and quickly injected, instantly feeling dirty as he pulled away. "All done," he said, hiding his grimace behind a smile, as he moved around his mum to get to the door.

"Help Freddie lay up the table love," his mum called after him as he left the room.

"What'd you're last slave die of?" he answered back jokingly, not even bothering to act surprised when he saw Freddy intently watching an old episode of Top Gear instead of setting the table. "You gonna help?"

"Nah," his older brother replied, reclining on the sofa. "Mum told you to do it,"

"She asked me to help you, not do the sodding job myself."

"Yeah, well I'm busy,"

"And I'm the one with bloody cast on. I've already had to halve my shifts at the deli because I can't ride a bike very well with this thing on, what makes you think I can lay a table."

"Jeez Jase. Stop your moaning, I'll do it now." Freddie groaned, cracking his back as he made his way to the kitchen, throwing knives and forks in the general direction of the table.

"What's for tea?" Jason asked, as he began setting glasses on the table.

"Mum's chilli con carne," Jason stilled at the reply. Con carne wasn't exactly the healthiest meal out there (Jason had seen how much salt his mum put into that) and add a huge portion of white rice and a bowl of doritos. Well he felt sick thinking about it.

It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't had any insulin, after all by not taking it, it meant that he could eat anything he wanted and it wouldn't have any sort of difference on him. But the shot he had just taken would be timed perfectly with the meal, meaning he'd gain. Who knew how much damage would be caused. All his hard work would be undone!

"Something wrong J?" Freddie asked, a hint of concern in his voice at the sudden stillness in his younger brother.

"Nah, just the thought of mum's cooking, that's all." That wasn't really a lie. Not really.

"I'm with you on that. Could make a grown man weep." Freddie smiled toothily. "In fact, I'm pretty sure it has."

"You've barely touched your dinner Jason," Sandy commented. It's true, whilst everyone else had managed to force down at least three quarters of the plate (Ziggy even seemed to enjoy it), Jason had only managed a fifth of his meal.

"I'm not hungry." That's not true. "I grabbed something from the deli when I had left the garage. Had to tell Doug about my hand," That's another lie, he had told Doug about his injury last night.

"And? What'd he say?" Sandy asked, temporarily forgetting about the amount of food on his plate.

"Halved me shifts, and all deliveries I do are gonna be local so I don't hurt my hand any more than it has been,"  
"Is that enough? Because I could always have a word with him if you want,"

"Mum it's fine. He didn't want me coming in at all, but I need the money and you know Doug can't hire anyone else."

"I just don't want you straining yourself, that's all,"

"I'm sure he'll cope mum," Ziggy said around a mouthful of food. "Jase is a big boy now, he can fend for himself I'm sure."

"Cheers Ziggy." Jason replied, his voice heavy with sarcasm, pushing away from the table.

"Jason, what about your dinner,"  
"Not hungry mum," Jason called over his shoulder as he made his way back to his room, ignoring the hunger pains that ran through his stomach as he spoke.

**I just want to thank everyone for the positive feedback I've received since posting this story. It means a lot and again, if anyone feels I've got some information wrong, message or review with any suggestions on what I should include. **

**Or review anyway, they always make my day. **


	3. Chapter 3

And the cycle continued. He was tired all the time, constantly thirsty yet always needing the toilet and felt like he was going to be sick 24/7. But he'd lost a stone just as the two week mark passed.

So why didn't he look any different?

He'd been doing all this, put himself through hell and nothing seemed to have changed. It was discouraging, but at the same time, it made him want it even more. Weight-loss was never easy, and just because his pancreas didn't work shouldn't make it any easier.

The hardest thing to control had been the amount of food he'd been eating. He always used to eat healthy, always making sure his blood glucose levels were never too high or low, although controlling that was a lot more difficult than it had been previously for obvious reasons.

Another side effect from not taking his insulin was the immense hunger that was always there, no matter how much he ate. It was confusing, even when he ate a lot it didn't seem to affect like it once would have. He knew why, of course he did. The doctors had explained that the sugar from the food couldn't be transferred into the cells without insulin when he had first been diagnosed.

But to know this information and to act on it were two different things. All his life, Jason had been told if you want to lose weight you have to eat healthily and eat less. Over the past couple of weeks he had been following this mantra in the hopes it would speed up the process, and keep his blood sugar low enough to prevent any serious damage. The crippling hunger that always followed him was too much sometimes and in the last week he had found himself in the kitchen at 2 in the morning, eating everything in sight four times.

Fortunately he had never gained when he weighed himself in the morning, but the heavy feeling of guilt and failure would lie heavy in his stomach for the rest of the day.

Jason's weight-loss had evened out over the last few days, probably due to his body becoming accustomed to the lack of insulin he had mused, but he was still losing a steady pound a day.

He knew that by restricting his insulin he was opening himself up to a number of complications later on in life: blindness and kidney failure to name a few, but it wouldn't get that bad for him. After all, this wasn't a permanent thing, just till the bloody cast came off his arm and he could start working out again, so he would be tired and feel ill for the next few weeks, but he wouldn't do it long enough to really hurt himself.

And it was working, he wasn't gaining anything and although the weight he had lost wasn't noticeable it was progress. If he hadn't started doing this, he would have gained a whole stone, not lost it. And okay, it wasn't original intention to lose weight, just to maintain, but it was probably a good thing.

He needed to lose that weight anyway, and it was obviously needed, no-one had noticed – _probably don't want to look at your ugly mug for longer than usual _a cruel voice taunted him.

"Jason get your arse out of that bathroom!" Freddie hollered, banging incessantly on the door. "You're taking Ziggy's title for bathroom hogger,"  
"All right, all right," He called back, pulling on his clothes and turning off the bathroom scales. "You ever heard of a little thing called patience Freds?"

"Yeah I have, but most people would get annoyed after twenty minutes mate. What were you even doing in there? I didn't hear the shower going," He raised an eyebrow, a mocking smile on his lips. "Robbie not been giving you enough alone time hey?"

"Sod off Freddie," Jason said, shoving past him, ignoring his annoyed yell, instead choosing to make his way down into the kitchen.

Flitting around his brothers, he managed to snag the cereal bowl and help himself to a decent serving before Sandy arrived, pen and paper in hand.

"Does anything need anything from the shops later? Give me things people," she cried, waving her empty shopping list around in the air.

"We're running low on eggs and milk Sandy," Lindsey said, looking through the fridge.

"Cereals gone too," Ziggy said, shaking at the empty box forlornly.

"You sure? I only bought that a couple of days ago,"

"I think I know what an empty box of special K looks like ma,"

"Blame Jase," Robbie said, grinning. "Swear he ate three bowls yesterday."

"Don't be so dramatic," Jason said, slamming his half empty bowl down on the counter. It was true, half the food that had run out was down to him, he hadn't thought the others had noticed but he hadn't been as sneaky as he had thought.

"I'm not one for dramatics J," Everyone rolled their eyes at Robbie's comment. "Just be careful though, if you keep eating as you are, no girls are ever gonna want your fat ass,"

It had been a joky comment, Robbie's tone of voice and the grin on his face made that clear. He hadn't meant it, the pair of them constantly tried to put the other down, and if it had been any other day, or if he had made any other comment, Jason would have been able to bounce back with an equally scathing remark.

But it wasn't. He felt his face flush and his palms started getting clammy.

"Stuff you Robbie," he snarled, ignoring his mum's annoyed shout for his language, getting a slight thrill at the shocked look on Robbie's face. On all of their faces. Just because he was quiet didn't mean he couldn't snap and have a bad day. He was a Roscoe after all. "I'm going to work," he muttered, shoving past Freddie who had just entered the kitchen, ignoring his brothers startled yell at being pushed once again in such a short span.

"The deli isn't even open yet," Sandy yelled after him.

"I'll take the scenic route then,"

"For two hours?"

"Yes."

"What the hell is going on?" Freddie asked, still confused.

"No idea, Jase just blew up," Robbie informed, somewhat gleefully at the drama that was being caused.

"Oh fuck off Robbie." Jason shouted, his patience finally snapping once and for all. He'd been in a foul mood all week, he knew that, but his family weren't making it any easier.

"I think we all need to calm down," Lindsey said, her voice as calm as she could make it, whilst Joe grabbed Robbie's arm so he wouldn't infuriate Jason any further.

"What? Go into a nice little circle, hold hands and talk about our problems?" Jason sneered. "That what they teach you in med school? No wonder the country's falling to shit if we've got people like you in our hospitals."

Joe let go of Robbie's sleeve, moving forward, a dangerous gleam in his eye. Both Robbie and Freddie had to physically restrain him and Jason moved back a couple of paces, knowing instantly he'd gone too far.

"Don't you ever talk about Lindsey like that again," he growled.

"Joe it's okay, I'm fine," his fiancée said, moving closer to try and placate him.

"No it's not," Sandy spoke up. "You may not be blood related, but you're family and I will not have anyone speak to you in that way under my roof. Even if they are one of my sons."

"Apologise," Joe said, his tone flat, but the anger was still there to hear, his eyes burning furiously. He was practically shaking with rage. You could say anything about Joe, but if you insult the woman he loves, then no matter who you are, you're in trouble. Jason knew this, but he'd never experienced it first-hand before. It was quite intimidating.

"You were out of order mate," Ziggy said, the first time he had spoken up.

"Fine." He turned to Lindsey and managed to grit out - "I'm sorry I said what I did, it was wrong and disrespectful of me," - through his teeth.

"It's fine, really," Lindsey said, smiling slightly. She moved forward, her arms slightly out as if to hug him.

Jason stepped back again. "Can I go?" He asked, ignoring both the hurt look on Lindsey's face and Sandy's answer, before grabbing his bag and leaving the house, the door slamming behind him.

He made it halfway down the driveway before he began feeling truly bad about what had happened. His apology to Lindsey had been crap, and it was obvious that he hadn't meant a single word of it, but the thing is, he had. Something had snapped inside the house, he just couldn't think straight so the cruel side of him came out. And Lindsey had been in the firing range.

He loved Lindsey, he really did. She was a great girl and before she had met Joe, his brother had been completely off the rails, getting in trouble every other week. She was funny and fit right into the family, and she was one of the last people that Jason would want to ever hurt. But he had and he would have to make up for it.

Sighing he continued on his way to the deli, trying to think of ways he could make it up to his future sister-in-law and get back into his brother's good books. While she may not hold a grudge, Joe certainly would and his other brothers would also disapprove of his earlier actions. Dinner was not going to be a fun event.

"Morning Doug," he called as he opened the deli door, taking his jacket off as he did.

"You're early," Doug said, the confusion obvious in his voice. "In fact, you're not meant to be in for another hour and a half. I'm still serving breakfast,"

"Had a bust up with the family, I had to get out of the house," Jason sighed, moving to the kitchen and getting the salads ready.

"Sounds like a fun morning,"

"A real laugh." The pair worked in silence for a few moments, with radio one playing lightly in the background. "Actually, can I grab something for breakfast? I didn't have time to get anything before,"

"Yeah, just help yourself,"

"Cheers," Jason finished chopping the peppers, placed them in the front before making himself a bacon sarnie. "You want anything?"

"Nah you're all right. Want to tell what this fight was all about?"

"I just snapped at my brother's fiancee, Lindsey."

"Lindsey?"

"Urm, yeah. Problem?"

"Sorry no. I just knew a Lynsey once, she was a great friend. You were saying?" Jason briefly explained the situation, whilst he waited for his second breakfast to cook, bouncing ideas off of Doug on the best way to apologise. The bell above the door rang, signalling the arrival of some customers. "You finish that, I'll serve them." Doug said, as Jason stood to make his way up front. He sat back on the stool, chewing thoughtfully as he tried to think of a way to apologise that wouldn't seem insincere.

The bacon was too tough and the bread dry. It wouldn't go down his throat as he swallowed and he found himself gagging.  
What was he doing? Sure he could eat and still lose weight, but he didn't have to be such a pig about it. The cereal he had eaten earlier felt heavy in his stomach and the sandwich didn't seem as appealing as it once had, the fatty smell making him grimace. He chucked the sandwich in the bin whilst Doug was busy, slipping the plate in the sink and making his way out front.

"You finished?" Doug was obviously surprised by how quickly the sandwich had been 'eaten'.

"In my house, you have to learn how to eat quickly or you don't eat at all." Jason smiled tightly. "So, where do you want me?"

"I'm so sorry about Jason," Sandy apologised once more, passing over a cup of tea. "He's been acting funny since his hand broke,"

"Sandy it's fine. I'm already over it,"

"Well I'm not," Joe frowned, nursing a brew. "Jason was well out of order. Broken hand or not, he doesn't have the right to talk to you like that."

"Calm down Joe," Lindsey soothed, rubbing her fiancés arm, as Sandy left the kitchen, letting the young couple have time to themselves. "I've dealt with enough moody teenagers over the years to learn not to take it personally if they snap at me."

"He's not just a moody teenager though, he's going to be your family soon. He'd never talk to me, mum or the others like that, he shouldn't talk to you like that either,"

"You said he's been snapping at everyone recently. What with his him working at the deli and the garage now, he's got a lot on his plate, his hand doesn't make it any easier either. I've got to go to work now, but how about I talk to him after I get back?"

"Have I ever told you I love you?"

"Once or twice," The pair leaned in for a kiss, Joe's arm sneaking around her waist and pulling Lindsey in closer, her hands running down his chest.

"Keep it PG yeah?" Ziggy cried, covering his eyes as he entered the kitchen, successfully interrupting the couple. "I've just eaten and I really don't need to see my breakfast for the second time,"

"I better be going actually," Lindsey said, her cheeks flaming red as she hurried out of the kitchen. "I'll talk to Jason later yeah?" The kitchen door clicked shut behind her, as Ziggy waggled his eyebrows.

"Going for a cheeky one before work were we?"

"Don't be stupid Zig. We were talking about Jason."

"Ahh, our wayward brother. What do you reckon is up with him?"

"No idea," Joe shrugged. "Lindsey reckons that's he just tired with having two jobs but I'm not so sure."

"Pray tell," Ziggy said, his interest piqued as he made himself a coffee.

"I wouldn't even know where to start, but I just don't think it's his work. I mean, he's only in the garage three afternoons a week and at the deli for a three hours every other day during lunch. It's not exactly draining. I think there's something we're missing."

"Or he's just being a typical teenager," Ziggy reasoned. "Just because Jase is the golden boy around here, it doesn't mean he can't have bad days and snap at people."

"I guess,"

"Stop worrying Joe, come on, we better get to work." Ziggy drank the last of his coffee before following Joe out of the house, both hoping that Jason would be in a better mood and soon.

**As you can see Jason is acting out of character, but they are all side effects of diabulimia and restricting insulin. Like mentioned earlier in the chapter, kidney failure, blindness and even heart attacks are dangerous side effects if insulin is restricted for too long. But at the moment, Jason will very hungry/thirsty, always needing the toilet and feeling very weak and tired as these are just some of the short-term effects. **

**At the moment Jason is aware of the long-term problems but not worried. He isn't caught up in the eating disorder and it isn't completely controlling him yet. He believes that he can stop anytime he wants, but as I've already hinted at, his fear of gaining weight and becoming 'fat' will make this impossible. **

**I know that Jason's _goal _may seem quite confusing at the beginning. But this is more commonly seen in male eating disorders. Women are more pressured to be thin, whilst men are pressured to be muscular and have a six-pack, which can make eating disorders confusing for some people. After all, why would you starve yourself if you want a six pack? The answer my friend is control. Eating disorders are rarely just about food, sure they normally start with restriction and a bit more exercise, but they then escalate and sometimes this is the only thing people can control in their lives, which makes it even worse. This will also be touched later on in the story. **

**Whilst Jason originally was restricting to maintain his weight, the weight-loss that instantly came was too alluring. Although he doesn't view himself as morbidly obese he does feel that he can improve his body (like 99% of us). He believes that if he loses some weight, when he can work out again he'll look much better because there won't be any fat covering him. **

**Sorry if this note seemed to just be pointing out the obvious, I just wanted to make sure everyone understood what was going on in Jason's head. This will all be explained later on in the story, but I did want to avoid confusion now as eating disorders are very complicated subjects. I had tried putting this in the story, which you can probably see, but it isn't done in a lot of detail because of course Jason isn't in the right mind to accept what he is doing is dangerous, so some details haven't been included. **

**Thank you all for reading and I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. I hate to sound 'needy' I guess, but if I could garner some more reviews that would be fab. This is the most difficult story I have ever tried to write, and I would love some more feedback to see if you believe that I am conveying Jason's feelings and thoughts correctly or not. **


	4. Chapter 4

"Hello? Anyone home?" Jason called as he opened the front door, slipping his shoes off as he walked through the porch. The deli had been particularly busy that day and he'd had to stay on for a few extra hours, meaning it was extremely likely that not only would his brothers have returned from the garage, but Lindsey and his mum would be home too.

"Living room love," Sandy called and Jason tried not to groan at the tone of her voice. The one that meant he was to go into the living room and they were going to have a 'talk'. The thought of a confrontation with his family and possibly another argument was not something he wanted, if they ended up grating on his nerves, like they had done that morning, it was incredibly likely he would end up snapping and start World War Three.

Work had been stressful enough and he congratulated himself on not snapping at Doug or any of the customers but he hadn't taken any insulin for almost a day at this point and his mood was growing worse with every passing hour.

Just as he expected the whole family were there, Joe and Lindsey on the sofa, his mum sat on the armchair facing the door, his other brothers dotted around on the floor or various chairs.

The look of disappointment, tinged with disapproval was still painted on Sandy's face and she motioned for Jason to sit on the one free chair. Sighing again, he walked over, avoiding everyone's eyes on him, but as he sat he glanced over at Joe and his stomach churned as he saw the anger in his brother's eyes.

"So, are you going to apologise?" Joe asked, after a few moments of awkward silence.

Jason looked up from where he was fiddling with his cast, as Lindsey placed a hand on Joe's to try to calm him.

"Calm down Joe," she soothed, though her voice held a steely tone. "He was just having a bad day, I've practically forgotten the whole thing already,"

"I don't care who it is, no-one can talk to you like that,"  
"Look he's sorry," Robbie spoke up from where he was perched on the sofa. "Why are we all here anyway, he annoyed Lindsey not me, can I go?"

"Robert," Sandy hissed, lightly whacking him on the arm as he went to stand up. "Show some more respect," Robbie rolled his eyes, but sat back down.

"Robbie's got a point though mum," Freddie pointed out. "I mean what Jase did this morning was wrong, he shouldn't have said what he did, but it doesn't concern us."

"That isn't the point. I want us all here to talk, we're all family and I want to make it perfectly clear that I will not be accepting behaviour like this under my roof. Everyone has fights and everyone snaps at each other, it's bound to happen with so many people under one roof, but Jason, you've been snapping at people for weeks now and you purposefully wanted to hurt Lindsey this morning with what you said,"

"And he's sorry, knowing him he'll have made her a flipping cake as an apology." Robbie scoffed. "I'm meant to be meeting Callum in a bit, can I go?"

"No. You can go when this is sorted and we've had a proper family talk." Sandy ignored the various groans and continued talking. "I'm serious. We haven't talked properly since we moved, probably before then, and it would have prevented so many problems if we had. In fact, we may not have had to move, I may not have kicked Robbie out," She grew quiet at this, the few weeks without her youngest had been unbearable and she had been wracked with guilt before she decided to let him come home again.

"And we have to do this tonight?" Ziggy asked.

"I'm not that bothered." Lindsey spoke up, shooting a warning glance over at Joe when he went to speak up. "I know Jason's sorry and-"

"Can you stop talking 'bout me like I'm not in the room," Jason finally snapped. The constant talking had been slowly pushing him off the edge, the fact they were talking about him like he wasn't a foot in front of them wasn't helping. He stood up from the seat, quickly regretting as the room span and his stomach churned again. Maybe it wasn't just guilt that was making him feel so bad.

"Jason?" Sandy rushed over to him, the worry clear to see as he staggered slightly, unfocused gaze on her. "Love, can you hear me?"

"M'fine," he groaned, closing his eyes to stop the spinning. "Just stood up too fast is all,"

Lindsey ushered him to the newly vacated sofa, as his brothers crowded around him like they did in the garage just a few weeks ago. "Just stay still for a little. Your blood glucose may be low, Joe get me some fruit juice,"

He nodded and made his way to the kitchen, whilst Sandy and Lindsey both soothed over him. "Mum I'm okay, I was just dizzy."

"I'm not risking it baby. When did you last take your insulin?" Before he could give an 'appropriate' answer, his stomach churned once more and he managed to mutter a hurried "M'gonna be sick," before bolting from the living room to the nearest bathroom, retching loudly.

When he got out of the bathroom a good fifteen minutes later a glass of water was outside the door and his mum was pacing around the living room, ignoring whatever Lindsey was saying to her to try and calm her. She glanced over to the bathroom door, stopping when she saw Jason watching her. "Are you okay baby," she asked, trotting over to him and hugging him tightly.

"I'm fine mum, there's a bug going round, I must just have caught it,"  
"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure," he replied, trying not to snap at her constant mothering.

"Well you're not moving from that sofa all night. I'm going to get you some juice okay?" Before he could answer, she had bustled out of the room, ordering the others around to try and get them to help.

"I am sorry you know," he said quietly, once Lindsey had stopped fiddling with her hair and had sat down. "I didn't mean to snap, I've just been having a bad time adjusting to this _thing,_" he waved his cast around, "and not being able to do anything."

"It's okay Jason. Like I said before, I've already forgotten it." She smiles, taking his hand and squeezing in comfortingly. "I know how you feel though. When I was thirteen I broke my ankle and I had a hard time adjusting too, the amount of times I shouted at my sister was probably record-breaking. It's difficult, things you used to do everyday are now impossible, but in six weeks that cast is going to come off and you'll be fine."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Is there anything else you want to talk about? You have seemed a bit down recently."  
"I'm fine, really," Jason smiled, standing as Sandy came back, a glass of orange juice in hand. "I'm just going to go to my room,"

"Okay baby," Sandy smiled, stroking his forehead lightly. "Make sure you get some sleep though, you're not going to feel any better if you stay on Facebook the whole night,"

Mock grumbling, Jason gave a tense smile and made his way to his room, grateful that Robbie had managed to slip away so he could be on his own with only his thoughts as company. He checked his blood sugars and gave himself the correct dose of insulin, feeling dirty once he had pricked his finger. He knew it had to be done though. Having not taken any all day, he was putting himself in danger, not that, that knowledge made him feel any better and he kicked his door shut in annoyance at his weakness.

He pulled his shirt off, with the intention of changing into his pyjamas, but he caught his reflection as he passed the mirror. and saw only fat. His hips were too wide. His stomach round and flabby. He was disgusting.

He needed to be skinnier.

Smaller.

Better.  
_Perfect. _

"You feeling any better?" Sandy asked the next morning as he descended down the stairs, trying to not let the dizziness get the better of him. It was almost comforting now, the light-headedness every morning meant he must be doing something right, even if it didn't look like it.

"Loads," he lied smoothly, once he had reached the last step and no longer needed to keep all his concentration on staying upright. "The sleep did me good,"

"I'm glad," his mum smiled, wrapping her arm around his shoulder. "There's some bacon going free in the kitchen, you better hurry up before your brothers have it," Jason paused, biting his lip as he tried to think of an excuse not to eat _that_, but his mum's laughter caught his attention. "Don't look so worried Jase, Lindsey made it, so it's not been 'cremated' as you boys like to say."  
"Oh, right. I'll just go get some then," he smiled again, hoping that it was at least somewhat convincing. Unfortunately and surprisingly too there was plenty of bacon left and Lindsey quickly buttered some bread so he could make a sandwich.

"Cheers,"

"You feeling better mate?" Ziggy asked from where he was devouring his own breakfast.

"Yeah, just needed some sleep I guess." he replied, playing with his own breakfast, whilst the others quickly finished theirs and went back for more. It wasn't fair, Jason thought. They could eat whatever they wanted and they'd look fine, but he had to jump through hoops to even begin looking somewhat decent.

"Are you sure I'm okay eating this?" he asked his mum when she came through the kitchen, a pile of washing in her arms. "I still might be sick,"

"Eat what you can," she replied, her voice loud over the hustle and bustle that surrounded the house in the mornings. "If you can't manage it, that's fine, but I want you eating something. You need to keep your strength up."

He nodded, knowing it was best not to argue with his mum, especially after yesterday's events. Joe seemed to have forgiven him for what he had said to Lindsey but he didn't want to push his luck by causing even more trouble. Within ten minutes he'd managed to choke down half of the sandwich and chucked the rest away.

No-one batted an eyelid and he relaxed slightly. "I'm going to work," he said, dumping the now empty plate in the dishwasher.

"No you're not," Sandy called from the living room. "I called Doug and he says you're not to come in till you're definitely better, which I agree with."

"I'm fine mum, really."

"Says the boy who was throwing up just last night," she answered back defiantly, causing Freddie to chuckle slightly.

"She has a point J," he said, nursing a cup of tea. "You didn't even finish your breakfast, there's no way you should be out delivering pizzas all day."

He groaned, knowing it would mean that he would be stuck on the couch all day if he didn't do something. "At least let me go to the garage then, it'll get me out of the house and I'll just stay on the desk all day."

"You hate desk duty," Freddie said, arching an eyebrow.

"But it's better than having mum fussing over me all day," he muttered so she wouldn't hear him. Raising his voice so she could, he continued. "It'll give me something to do though, and I can't easily strain myself with my hand can I?"

"I suppose so," Sandy mused. "Fine, you can go, but Freddie you're to send him straight home if he starts looking peaky."

His older brother agreed and the pair got their coats, just as the others were ready to go.

"You're mental," Robbie remarked, as the group were walking down to the garage. "You've been given a golden opportunity to sit on your arse all day and you decide to go to work."

"I'd be bored out of me head though. Daytime tv's shit, you know that," he pointed out, and Robbie nodded his head in agreement. "Anyway, I'm still going to be sitting on my arse all day, I'll just be answering the phone every so often and getting paid."

"Enough chit-chat you two," Joe called as he unlocked the door. "We're still not making enough money here. If we want the business to do well, we really need to start working hard. This garage has to be the best garage in the whole of Chester if we want to succeed."

"We could always do another car wash," Ziggy suggested, wagging his eyebrows suggestively.

"Or not," Joe countered. "Jase, can you try and brainstorm today? We've got a few services later but nothing after three. We can sift through ideas then,"

"Yeah sure," he nodded, turning the computer on and looking over the cars that were due to come in. "You've got one coming in, in a half hour and then that Mr Gair fella is picking up his car at 11."

Pretty soon, everyone had found themselves a job and the garage was silent except for the radio in the background and the occasional sarky comment from either Robbie or Freddie.

Jason was sifting through various fund-raising ideas on the internet, noting the ones down that had potential and could be used for various promotions. His attention soon started waning though, researching was one of the more boring parts of the job, but it was better than being stuck at home all day. It didn't stop him from yawning every so often or from letting his eyes wander the garage every five minutes or so, in the hopes that three o'clock would suddenly appear and he could free from the tediousness of the job.

"Anyone want a brew?" he asked, standing up and grabbing the empty glass from the desk. "I'm making."

"Again?" Ziggy asked, looking up from where he had been preening. "This must be your sixth cup now."

"I'm sick and have to stay hydrated." He replied snarkily, reminding himself to act calm. He had been sick last night, of course he wasn't going to feel too good today. Everyone knew that you had to drink more water if you were ill, and that was all it was. Nothing more.

"I think we're all good," Joe said, trying to avoid another fight. He had apologised to Jason earlier that day, but he was well aware that Jason was more than likely to take the bait at the moment and wanted to avoid it at all costs.

Jason smiled in thanks at his eldest brother and made his way to the small kitchenette at the back, sneaking into the small bathroom which was to the side. It was embarrassing, not only was he constantly thirsty but he always needed the toilet too.  
Being teased by his brothers about his constant thirst was the lesser of the two evils, but not by much. Sighing and trying to ignore his pensive thoughts, he poured himself a glass of water, downed it in seconds and poured himself another before making his way back to the main garage, trying to ignore the way his legs and arms shook slightly.

He was fine.

He had to be.

He had control.


	5. Chapter 5

"Feeling better then?" Were Doug's first words when Jason walked into the deli two days later. He hadn't been sick again, but his mother was far too overprotective for her own good and had said she didn't want him straining himself too soon, much to his annoyance and his brothers amusement.

"Much," he smiled smoothly, clocking in and making his way to the counter, ignoring the way the room was spinning underneath him. "I'd have been here yesterday, but mum didn't want to risk it."

"No worries, we haven't been too busy so you may even be able to clock off early," Their conversation was interrupted by Holly Cunningham entering with a few friends.

"Three coffees please," she smiled, pulling her out her purse, along with the two other girls. Doug motioned for Jason to go to the kitchen and make them, whilst he accepted their money and handed their change back to them.

The coffee machine was on, so all Jason needed to do was wait for the drinks to pour into the small cups. It couldn't have taken more than a minute, but it felt like a lifetime for Jason. His legs felt like jelly under him _(probably because they had to support him and his fat 24/7) _and his dizzy spells were becoming more and more frequent.

"How are those coffees coming along?" Doug called from the counter.

"Almost done," Jason told him, his voice breaking slightly as even talking became too much of an effort. He knew he should have taken his insulin that morning, he hadn't had a shot since the previous day. He was doing so well though and he couldn't bring himself to take the needed shot, in case it undid all his hard work.

Managing to stop his hands from shaking, he popped the lids on the cups and put them in a small take-away carton for the three girls. Pushing away from the counter his vision blurred and the room began spinning more violently then it had been previously. He stopped, closed his eyes and tried to breath deeply. He could do this, if he stayed calm it would go away.

"Jason," Doug called again, his impatience growing.

Taking another breath, he began walking to the counter, but it was getting harder and harder by the second. He could do this, just serve the coffees and get to the bathroom. He just needed to sit down for a little, a bit of rest and he'd be fine. His train of thought was cut off as his vision went completely black, though the startled screams still reached him.

"-son? Jason are you okay?" Doug's alarmed voice was the first thing he registered when he came round, though the burning wetness on his shirt was a close second.

"What happened?" he mumbled, trying to sit up from where he was lying on the deli floor.

"Don't move too fast," Doug soothed, pressing his hands on his shoulder so he wouldn't try to stand. "You fainted when you came out of the kitchen."

"Here you go," Holly entered his line of sight, as she emerged from the kitchen he had just been in, a dozen paper towels in hand. Her and her two friends began mopping up the spilled coffees, all looking over at him every so often in obvious concern.

"Can I get you anything? Will you need your insulin?" Doug asked, not sure what the best thing to do would be.

"Some fruit juice?" he asked. Not only did he _really_ not want to take the insulin, but it also wasn't the best idea. The fruit juice would make his blood sugar go up, meaning he would, hopefully, start feeling a bit better.

"I'll get it," Holly volunteered, getting up from the floor and practically running to the fridge. She pulled out a bottle of orange juice and made her way behind the counter where Jason was now leaning against the wall, he slowly moved one still trembling arm over to collect the bottle. "You sure you can hold it? I mean, look what happened with the coffees,"

Jason snorted faintly, and let Holly open it and before taking the bottle slowly from her. "I'm not an invalid."

"Never said you were, but you did just faint on us,"

"And you never got your coffees,"

"You'll have to make me another then,"

Before he could reply, Doug appeared from the office, phone in hand. "What's your mom's number? I should call her, so she can pick you up."

"Pick me up?"

"Yeah, there's no way you're staying on for the rest of the day, I thought you looked a bit peaky when you arrived actually,"

"Must not have recovered properly. Don't call my mum though, she'll only worry over nothing,"

"That wasn't nothing," Holly interrupted sharply, but remained quiet when Jason glared at her.

"I'm feeling better already so I'll just walk home. The fresh air will probably do me good."

"Only if you're sure," Doug still looked uncertain, but helped Jason stand up and looked slightly reassured when he didn't stumble.

"I am. My house isn't even a fifteen minute walk away." Doug nodded, obviously realising that arguing with the young Roscoe wouldn't end well. Jason quickly clocked out, grabbed his hoody (which luckily hid the coffee stain which took up a large majority of his t-shirt) before making his way out of the deli.

"And don't come back till you're _fully_ recovered this time," Doug called after him, his young employee's weak laugh the only answer.

"I'll see you guys later," Holly smiled, waving to her classmates as she left the coffee-house which had been their second and more successful attempt in getting some drinks. She pulled her phone out of her pocket to check up on Jason, before realising she didn't have his number. She sighed in annoyance and went back to worrying.

Although she hadn't talked to him much (and when she had, he usually stumbled over his words consistently and stared) she was still worried. He seemed like a nice enough guy, albeit a little nervous but him fainting in the deli earlier had scared her. The scene kept replaying in her head, him leaving the kitchen, coffees in hand, before stumbling slightly and falling onto the floor with no warning.

She had thought he had slipped at first and had laughed, as had her friends. But at Doug's obvious panic and the fact that he hadn't gotten up had quickly made the laughter die in her throat. For one horrible moment he had looked dead, but then she had realised that she was being over-dramatic and that he was slowly coming to as Doug gently shook him.

She was so deep in thought, she wasn't looking where she was going and walked straight into a passerby. "Watch it," she snapped, before realising who she had crashed into. "Robbie!"

"Someone's on edge," he laughed, turning to walk away.

"Wait," she called after him, making him stop. "Is Jason ok?"

"Why wouldn't he be?"

Realisation hit Holly and her eyes widened. "He hasn't told you has he?"

"Told me what? What's happened to Jase?" He was starting to look panicked, a side Holly had never seen of Robbie before. It was slightly disconcerting.

"Maybe he should be the one to tell you," Holly said, trying to keep him calm.

"What's happened to my brother?"

"It's not that bad, it's just, well he fainted in the deli this morning. Doug was going to call Sandy but Jason wouldn't let him. He said he was fine and went back to the house, I thought he would have told you by now,"  
"Anything else?"

"No sorry. He seemed fine afterwards, you can try giving him a call but he's at home so he'll probably just be sleeping or something."

Robbie bit his lip, obviously wondering what the best thing to do would be. After a few moments he pocketed his phone and began walking to his original destination. "Cheers Holly," he called over his shoulder when he was half-way down the path, clearly remembering she had just helped him.

"Tell me how he is when you see him," she called back, not sure if he had heard her when there was no answering yell.

"You want a bag?" The bored shop assistant asked Jason as she scanned the various items he had placed onto the counter..

"Yeah sure," Jason nodded, his cheeks flaming as he pulled his wallet out. He avoided the girl's eyes as she loaded the copious amounts of chocolate and sweets into a small plastic bag.

"That'll be £7.88 mate," she said, accepting the money.

"Keep the change." he muttered, rushing out of the shop, bag in hand as his stomach rumbled once more.  
After leaving the deli, he hadn't felt like going home in case any of his family were still there, instead choosing to go down town to kill some time. As the hours passed, his hunger had grown and grown until he could no longer control himself and he had found himself in a small corner shop. He had only intended on getting a sandwich but the rows of chocolate and sweets had been too much and he found himself buying over a day's worth of calories.

He wandered around, trying not to stuff himself right there in the open. Meandering around the quieter roads, he found himself behind some small public toilets, where he was completely hidden from anyone walking by. Looking through the bag, he pulled out a large galaxy bar, ripped the wrapper and began eating.

The first bite was when he lost control, he couldn't stop himself. Stuffing his mouth so full it was difficult to chew and continuing on in the same manner.

Chocolate bars

Skittles

Maoams

Crisps

Milky Stars.

He ate them all, stuffing his face, the relief of the food almost too great to bear.

It didn't take long, ten minutes at the most, but he too soon all the food had gone. It took even less time for the disgust to set in.

Panting slightly, Jason banged his head against the wall. Why was he such a failure? He had been doing so well, only eating healthily when he actually ate. Counting every calorie and carb religiously. And then he did this.

Fat salty tears trickled down his face. He felt like screaming, showing the whole world what a failure he was. His stomach was already bloated, straining against his shirt as what he had done hit home. Why did he do that? Why didn't he just get the sandwich and leave, instead of practically buying the whole sweet shelf. If anyone saw him now they'd realise what a freak he was. Couldn't even stick to a diet properly. He just had to fuck it up.

The worst thing was he wasn't even properly full. He could feel the heaviness of the food inside him, the churning of his stomach as it tried to cope with all the food. But he could still eat. If he had more food, he would have eaten it all without a second thought.

He hadn't felt full in weeks, no matter how much food he ate, it was always there. That little pang of hunger, always there to remind him what a failure he was.

Why couldn't he just be normal? Why did he have to be such a big fat freak?

The tears fell faster and harder as his phone alarm went off, reminding him that he was meant to take his insulin dose. Turning the reminder off (as he was always doing nowadays), he threw the phone into the grass, trying not to scream.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you everyone for the lovely reviews :) They really make writing this story so much easier because I know that there are people who are genuinely enjoying what I write. **

"Jason's back," Ziggy called through to the kitchen when the younger Roscoe walked through the front door a few hours later. He had finally managed to calm down after his mini-breakdown, (at the back of some loos for God's sake) and had began making his way back home, ignoring the constant flip flopping of his stomach.

"Hi love," Sandy called, coming through with an apron wrapped around her. "You sure Doug's not working you too hard? You're coming home later everyday,"

"I offered to stay late," It was almost scary how easy it was becoming, lying to his family. "We had a bit of a spillage,"

"I bet you did," Robbie muttered quietly.

"You say something Robbie?" Sandy asked, whipping round.

"Me? Nothing at all."

"Good. You can help me with dinner then." Robbie grumbled slightly, but made no other complaints as he followed his mum into the kitchen, avoiding Jason's questioning look.

"Is he okay?" he asked Ziggy when he knew his twin was out of hearing range.

"Robbie? Not sure, he was fine when he went to go get lunch, but he was a bit funny after. Your twin telepathy not giving you any insight?"

"We don't have twin telepathy," Jason said, rolling his eyes.

"Whatever you say bro," Ziggy called as Jason made his way up to his room. He changed out of his work shirt, cringing at the roundness of his stomach (he looked like he had swallowed a bloody watermelon) and pulled on an old t-shirt. He lay on the floor and began a round of crunches.

The doctor had told him not to exercise, in case he hurt his hand even more than it was, but a few hundred sit-ups wouldn't cause him any harm. He managed 273 before he was called down for dinner. Sitting up, he promised himself that he would do at least 500 after dinner, even if his middle was aching already.

"There you go love," Sandy said, placing a full plate of toad in the hole in front of him.. His stomach growled in response and he felt himself blush as everyone else laughed. "Not a moment too soon huh?"

"Guess not," Jason smiled, picking up his fork. How was he still hungry? He must have eaten thousands of calories not even two hours ago. Everyone dug in, the table silent except for the sound of clinking cutlery and chewing.

"Anything interesting happen at the deli today?" Robbie asked, breaking the silence.

"Not really, we were quite quiet today," Jason answered, wondering why Robbie was asking. He was never the one to ask about other peoples lives. Not if it didn't get him anything in return that is. "And the garage?"

"Sorted through some of the fund-raising ideas,"

"I'll still say we do a topless car wash again. The ladies love a bit of Ziggy,"

"Ignoring that," Lindsey said, raising her eyebrows in mock disbelief. "What have you guys chosen?"

"Hear me out yeah!" Ziggy said, motioning for everyone to stay quiet. "Get banners, cheap advertising. 'Roscoe's Topless Carwash. The dirtier the better.'"

"That's disgusting Ziggy," Sandy, though it was drowned out by Robbie's and Freddie's laughter.

"We get Lindsey out on the kerb in lovely little bikini, along with some more of the local talent. That Maxine maybe? We'll get tons of punters in,"

"I think we should just cross a big fat line through that one," Joe recommended. "We're not in desperate need of money anymore, we just want to attract attention, let everyone know that we're here. We'll never be taken seriously if we act like that,"

"No that could work," Jason said. "That'll get everyone excited, get one of us lot out there advertising too, so we hit both sides of the market. The banner would be catchy and would definitely catch people's attention. "Roscoe's _Free _Topless Carwash,"

"If it's free, how we gonna get the money Einstein?"

"Because we won't be the one's topless. We wash the bottom half of the car for free. They then have to make a donation to get the job finished. It'll spread the word, but won't make us look like ditzy idiots."

"That could work," Joe mused. "We'll work on the finer details tomorrow yeah?"

"Wait, does this mean you want me frolicking around Chester in a bikini?"

"There won't be many complaints," Ziggy joked, crying out as Lindsey hit him across the arm.

"We'll sort something out love," Joe promised, trying not to laugh at the indignant look on his beloved's face.

If he thought his stomach was bloated before, well it had nothing on now. He'd managed to eat everything on his plate in record timing and he was suffering now because of it. He felt like he was weighed down by all the food inside of him and it wasn't pleasant.

"Hold it together," he muttered, trying to stay calm and avoid another break-down. Picking up his toothbrush, Jason squeezed a generous amount of toothpaste onto it and began brushing. To remove the taste of dinner from his mouth. To try and distract him from what he had done that day. He wasn't sure entirely sure which of the two it was.

He stopped brushing when his gums began to ache and the mintiness seemed to surround him. Taking another deep breath, he unlocked the bathroom door, intent on making his way to his room and spending the whole night there.

"We need to talk," was all he heard Robbie growl, as he was pulled from the bathroom and into their room,

"What the hell!" Jason cried as he was pushed into the wardrobe. "What's your problem?"  
"Why didn't you tell mum bout what happened earlier,"

His froze when he realised what his twin was implying. How had he found out? Why was he only mentioning it now and not at the dinner table when everyone was there?

"I don't know what you mean," he eventually replied, trying to keep his voice steady.

"Don't even try to bullshit me J. I know okay. I know about you fainting at the deli earlier. Holly told me,"

"Holly's known for making things much more dramatic than they actually are."  
"She wasn't making this up. I saw the worry, it was all over her face. But now I have to wonder why she was the one to tell me and not you,"

"Because it's no big deal,"

"No big deal?" Robbie asked incredulously. "You_ fainted. _You've just been ill too, this could be really serious, more than a bloody bug going round."

"Aww, I never knew you cared."

"This isn't a joke Jason. Why didn't you tell anyone?" Robbie was almost shouting now, obviously getting more and more worked up the minute.

"Because I don't want mum to worry more than she already is. If she knew I fainted on top of me being sick, I wouldn't be allowed to leave the house till I'm thirty! Anyway I'm fine, I was just tired."

"If you say so," Robbie finally said, not looking happy to drop the subject.

"You're not going to tell mum then?"

"No, I'll keep it between us two, but if anything like this happens I want you to tell me. Not anyone else."

"Fine. Can I go now?" He went to move around Robbie, but his twin pushed him back again.

"Is there anything else?"

"Like what exactly?"  
"I don't know, I guess I'm just a bit worried. I know you're bummed out about your hand and all, but you've been acting differently since your accident."

"Everyone's always going on about my bloody hand. It's fine, I'm fine. In a few weeks I'm getting the cast off anyway."

"Then what is it? Because you're always tired but you sleep more than anyone in the house. You're snapping at people if they breath too loudly and getting into arguments with everyone. One day you act like food is the most disgusting thing in the world and if you eat anything you'll be sick everywhere and the next you eating everything in sight. You're losing some serious weight."

"Say it. Say what you think it is then. This should be a laugh." Although he was cocky on the outside, on the inside he was anything but. This was it. Robbie had figured out what he was doing. He'd tell mum and she'd make him stop. Take away all his control. Make him do as she wished. Make him fat.

"Are you doing drugs?"

That hadn't been what he was expecting. He voiced as much, hoping that if he said it, Robbie would see the absurdity of it all.

"Well it's the only thing I can think of. You've been dead secretive lately."

That was true. In the last few weeks he'd barely had any sort of conversation with Robbie, let alone the rest of the family. Although they weren't like some twins out there who couldn't live without the other, they were close. Or they had been. Different interests and friends had meant that over the years they had slightly drifted. No longer did they tell each other everything that happened in their lives, but Robbie probably knew the most about Jason than anyone else and vice versa.

Jason had begun drifting himself even more though, originally he hadn't noticed but little things were becoming more noticeable. It had to be done though, if he kept spending 24/7 with his family they'd quickly notice he wasn't taking his insulin and try to intervene.

They'd say it was wrong and dangerous. Two things he was well aware of already. When he was first diagnosed the doctors had told him all the health risks that came with not taking the insulin. Blindness. Kidney Damage. Amputation.

That wouldn't happen to him though. It couldn't, he wasn't going to be doing this for a very long time anyway, just a few more weeks and then he could go back to normal. Nothing bad could happen in that time-frame. If his family found out, they wouldn't see it like that. They'd make him take the insulin, force him to take the shot. Tease him mercilessly as he became fatter and fatter.

"I don't take drugs Robbie," he repeated again when Robbie didn't back down. "I'm fine, just a bit stressed is all."

"Are you sure,"

"I'm completely sure." Jason couldn't help but snap, pushing Robbie out of the way so he could leave the room. His temper got the better of him and before he left the small room they shared he snarled, "Just because you and Freddie do drugs and like to fuck up little girls by getting them hooked too, doesn't mean I do. I'm not so stupid."

"Say that again," Robbie snarled, moving closer.

"Truth hurts doesn't it Robbie. You don't only fuck up your own life, you have to ruin other peoples. I'm surprised mum let you come back at all, I wouldn't of." Robbie looked ready to jump him, but before he could, Jason practically ran out of their room, slamming the door behind him.

He made his way downstairs, composing himself so the others wouldn't be suspicious and entered the living room. Robbie wouldn't make a scene with the rest of the family present, he'd wouldn't want to upset Sandy any more than he had done in recent months.

There was a slight worry that Robbie would tell everyone about him fainting earlier, but Jason hoped the unspoken threat of him telling Sandy about Robbie's drug selling past would keep him quiet.

Although Sandy would no doubt mother over him for the foreseeable future and beyond, they both knew she would make Robbie move out again. But this time it would be a permanent fixture. After a good thirty minutes, Jason heard Robbie making his way downstairs, yelling that he was going to see Finn and Callum before slamming the front door behind him.

He quietly excused himself after this, entering the now empty bedroom. Lying on the floor, he began another rep of crunches. "500. 499. 498. 497." Robbie's words ringing in his head, louder and louder as he continued. _You're losing some serious weight. You're losing some serious weight. You're losing some serious weight. You're losing some serious weight. You're losing some serious __weight. _Maybe this was all paying off after all.


	7. Chapter 7

"For the next week, you're going to have to lightly scrub your arm daily," Doctor Redfield instructed Jason six weeks later. His arm had finally healed so had been able to get his cast removed, before he had headed down to the doctor's office for a further check up and information on how to best look after his arm. "The skin is going to be very sensitive, so you need to make sure not to irritate it."  
Jason nodded, flexing his fingers as the feeling slowly returned to his hand. "What about exercising?" This was what he wanted to know more than anything. He had missed boxing more than he thought he would have and was desperate to start up again.

"I would suggest that you only do light exercise for the next couple of weeks. The muscles in your arm will have shrunk slightly because it won't have been used for the past two months. You'll need to build it up gradually otherwise you could cause your arm more harm than good. I know you box Jason, but it would be best to not restart that for up to two or three weeks." He nodded, disheartened by this fact. "I think I've covered everything, although if there are any problems feel free to make a call,"  
"Okay, thanks doctor," Jason smiled, making his way out of the office and back to the waiting room ignoring the bile in his throat. He thought it would be all over. He had thought that as soon as the cast came off he would be able to go back to normal. Good bye constant fatigue and stomach cramps. It was stupid really, with a doctor and a nurse in the family he should have known that his arm would need time to regain it's usual strength without being told.

_Looks like I'll be doing this for a bit longer then, _he couldn't help but think bitterly.

Ziggy was still there, although in the half hour he had been gone, his brother had moved in on a petite blonde and the pair were animatedly talking. Luckily Ziggy quickly spotted him, so stood up, although not before he passed the girl a slip of paper. _No doubt with his number_ _written on it. _

"All done Jase?" Ziggy asked, winking at the blonde as the pair made their way out of the hospital and into the car. Jason explaining to his brother what he had been told by the doctor.

"So you'll be stuck behind the desk for a bit longer,"

"Don't remind me," Jason groaned, as Ziggy pulled out of the car park. "There's only so much paperwork one person can do without going round the bend,"

"At least you've got school next week. Mum's wants you to go to town in a couple of days so you'll have that day off,"  
"Hmm buying school supplies. I couldn't think of a better way to spend the day."

"Robbie had the same reaction," Ziggy chuckled, turning down the road that led to the garage. "At least you got the cast off before you have to go to college though."

"Always a silver lining hey,"

The two got out of the car, Ziggy grabbing his overalls from the back and made their way to the garage, loud music blaring from the inside as per.

"How's your hand mate?" Joe asked when he spotted the pair. "All better?"

"Good as new," Jason smiled waggling his fingers, already tiring of being asked how he was. "Anything you need to me to do?"

"Think we're okay at the moment. Robbie and Freddie are off on call, so who knows when we'll see them again. Remember to take your insulin though, you must be due a shot soon," He knew his brother was only looking out for him.

As the eldest, Joe had always been the most protective and often would make sure Jason was looking after himself (I.e asking if he had taken his insulin), but it didn't stop it from being irritating. He hadn't done this for months (at 16 everyone trusted that Jason was independent enough to look after himself), but every so often Joe's protective streak would make itself known. It was always best to go along with it, with minimum complaints if he wanted to avoid the combined wrath of Joe and his mother.

He was about to lie and tell Joe that he took one at the hospital, but Ziggy was still loitering and he couldn't afford to raise any suspicion. He was so close to the end, this would soon all be other and in a few weeks he could stop all the lies. But till then he couldn't let anyone, especially his family know about his deceit.

"Yeah, you're right. I think I left my bag in Ziggy's car though, I need to get it and-"

"Well done Einstein. Good thing your amazing brother noticed and brought it with him," Ziggy laughed, holding up the rucksack and chucking it at Jason.

Well that was plan b down the drain. He had been hoping to go down to the car and then tell Joe he took the shot there. That was now impossible. Trying to hide his discomfort, he took out the kit and began measuring out the amount of insulin needed.

He could feel his brothers eyes on him. It was stupid and paranoid of him, neither of them were watching him, but he knew they were watching him out of the corner of their eyes. Watching him fail. Watching him inject the _medication_ into himself. It made him feel sick just thinking about putting it into his body, but he finally worked up the courage to do it. Wincing as the needle pierced his skin (the once familiar motion was becoming a more rare phenomenon by the day) and trying not to cringe as he thought about the harm happening to his body.

All the fat that would now appear. Cling onto him and never let go.

When he looked up, both of his brothers were working on two separate cars, neither paying him any attention, but he knew better. He knew that inside they were laughing at him. At his weakness. At his inability to lie.

Why could he never do anything right.

"I can show you some exercises to help strengthen your hand up if you want," Lindsey offered Jason around the dinner table that evening. "I don't do a lot around physiotherapy but I know enough to speed up the healing process if you want."

"Yeah that'd be great. Cheers Linds," Jason smiled his first genuine smile in what felt like weeks. Anything that could potentially get him exercising earlier was worth smiling about.

"I can think of a very specific exercise that will strengthen your hand mate," Robbie smirked. "Or your wrist at least."

Sandy yelled at Robbie, although there was no real venom in her tone, whilst the others tried to stifle their laughter and not choke on their food.

"Sometimes it scares me to think that this is your last year in education Robert," Sandy said once the laughter died down, although it was obvious she was also very amused by the situation. "You really are very crude."

"The ladies love it ma," Robbie smirked around a mouthful of mashed potato.

"Not sure if they'll love your table manners though," Lindsey smirked. "I'll show you the exercises later this evening Jason, I think they'll really help you."

"Don't get too jealous Joe, seems your fiancee likes the younger men," Freddie said, joining in on the ribbing, although their eldest brother didn't rise to the bait.  
"It's at times like this I'm surprised you two haven't moved out yet," Sandy remarked, shaking her head at her sons crass remarks.

"We'd miss you too much Sandy,"

"The fact that you didn't mention us really hurts Linds," Freddie said, pretending to wipe a tear from his face.

Whilst the others continued joking and messing around, Jason took the time to push his food to the side and hide some in a nearby napkin. He couldn't afford to eat the meal, not with all the insulin he'd taken earlier that day. He'd stayed on at the garage for the rest of the day and hadn't got any chance for privacy, meaning that there was no way to pretend that he taken it in private. In total he had had four shots, which was double the amount he would normally take. He could already feel his clothes becoming tighter and tighter on him and the only way to undo some of the damage he'd caused was to not eat. A worthwhile sacrifice.

"That was lovely mum," he said, pocketing the napkin. "May I be excused?"

"You sure you've had enough love?" Sandy asked.

"Yeah, I'm just not very hungry today."  
"Okay, put your plate in the sink then," Jason nodded, scraping the leftovers into the bin and placed the now empty plate in the lukewarm water. He quickly and quietly left the overcrowded dining room, the napkin full of food heavy in his pocket. He chucked the napkin in the bin, covering it with paper and other rubbish in his bedroom so it wouldn't be seen by Sandy when she emptied the bins in a few days time.

This was followed by his now daily five hundred sit ups, although it was cut short when he heard Robbie thundering up the stairs. Moving to the desk, Jason opened his laptop and went onto facebook, in the hopes that his brother would think that was all he had been doing.

"Lindsey said she can go show you the exercises now if you want." He nodded, shutting the laptop lid once more and wandering down the stairs. The same mantra repeating itself over and over again in his head.

_I can do this. It's only three more weeks and then I can stop. I can do this. It's only three more weeks and then I can stop. _

**Sorry this chapter is a bit shorter but this was originally one half of a very long one, and I thought it'd be a lot easier to split it how I have done. The next chapter will be my longest yet though! **


	8. Chapter 8

"Robbie! Jason! Get up you two, it's your first day and I don't want either of you being late," was the first thing Jason heard that morning as he was pulled from his deep sleep. Groaning he turned over and cracked open an eyelid, resisting the urge to go back to sleep as the numbers 7:00am blared at him from the alarm clock.

Dragging himself out of bed, he shook his still sleeping twin and staggered to the bathroom, wincing as the room span around him. Turning on the shower, Jason began his morning routine whilst waiting for the water to warm up.

The same feeling of apprehension and fear struck him when he stepped on the scales and waited for the numbers to settle. Today was good day. He had lost two pounds since yesterday, finally having broken through a plateau he'd been struggling with for the past few days. Hopefully this positive start would set the tone for the rest of day.

Once the room started to fill with steam he climbed into the shower, scrubbing gently on his injured arm. Only three more days till he would be fully recovered he mused, and it couldn't come too soon. When this was done, he began washing the rest of his body, relishing the feel of his ribs and hipbones that were becoming more and more prominent with each passing day. Originally the idea of being able to feel his bones like that freaked him out, but he couldn't help the pride that would swell when he realised that it was now possible to feel every groove, rise and fall.

It showed that he was succeeding, that what he was doing, he was doing well.

"Hurry up Jason," Robbie yelled, thumping on the bathroom door. "You're not the only one with school today, and I swear if you've used all the hot water, I'm gonna kill you!"

Sighing, he turned the water off and stepped out of the shower, catching his reflection in the mirror which hadn't fully fogged up yet. He might be able to feel his ribs and hips now, but they sure weren't noticeable unless he breathed in.

_I need to do better. I can never expect to look halfway decent otherwise._

Drying himself off quickly, Jason pulled his old t-shirt and pants back on (there was no way he was going to risk his family seeing him in this state. They'd be disgusted at his fatness) before making his way out of the bathroom, ignoring his brother's complaints.

Whilst Robbie was getting ready in the bathroom, he changed and made sure he had everything he needed in his school bag before making his way to the kitchen.

"Good morning Jason," Sandy smiled, handing over a plate of scrambled eggs and toast. "You all ready?"

"Think so mum, probably something I've forgotten,"

"Talking of forgetting. I meant to ask you last night, but are you ready for a new pack?" she asked, motioning to the fridge where his insulin supplies were kept. A pack would usually last an average of thirty days, and when Sandy picked up a new one she would put it in the fridge so it couldn't be affected by the temperatures of the house. Jason would usually keep a week's supply on him or in his room at all times, meaning he would take the needed amount usually on a Sunday night when he had run out.

Over the years this had become as simple and mundane as brushing teeth or clipping toenails. But because he was taking less and less insulin, he would always have plenty to spare at the end of the week, resulting in him forgetting to collect some more.

"Yeah, I guess I just forget when making sure I had everything for college."  
"No harm done, though you probably won't have had your morning shot yet."

"That's right, I should have said earlier." Sandy smiled, telling her son not to worry about it, opening the fridge and taking the nearest pack out. She took out the recommended dose and handed it over for Jason.

This was needed, he told himself, trying not to act weird as he began measuring out. He was already dizzy and this morning shot would keep him going for the rest of the day. He did not need to faint on his first day and embarrass himself any further.

As long as he didn't take any more insulin till the evening, he would be fine and nothing would be ruined. He could do this. He could be normal.

Robbie came down a few moments later, still preening with his hair, not that Jason knew why. He had shaved it all off when he had gone down South – as some sort of drunken dare he was led to believe – and was still trying to grow it out.

"My little boys are growing up," Sandy beamed, handing a plate to Robbie. "It's your last year in school completely. This time next year you'll be going to university or working in the garage with your brothers."

"If those are the only two choices, I may end up failing so I can stick around for longer," Robbie quipped, spooning the eggs into his mouth. In seconds he had finished completely and was placing his plate in the sink, kissing Sandy on the cheek and grabbing his bag.  
"Said I'd meet Finn before school. See ya!"

"I was thinking I could drive you in, it being your first day and all," Sandy said, trying not to look too put out.

"Well it ain't my first day is it ma and I'm not being made a fool of in front of all my mates. Feel free to with Jase. I could use a laugh. Blake's a right bore." Robbie laughed, walking out of the front door, leaving it to swing close behind him.

"You want a lift down Jason?" Sandy asked, turning to make eggs for the rest of the family.

"You're okay, I'm sure I can make my own way there," he informed his mum, finishing the rest of his breakfast off. "Although I'll head off now, don't want to be late on my first day do I?"

"Good luck sweetheart," Jason pecked her on the cheek (as was routine in the house) before leaving the house to begin his walk down to college.

The closer he got, the more nervous he became. Robbie would be okay, he knew the majority of the year already and had already become close friends with a number of people in both their year and the year below.

Even if it was Robbie's first day he wouldn't have had any problem, he was the more sociable of the twins, the more outgoing one. People were drawn to Robbie and he always kept his cool.

However, Jason was the quiet one, he couldn't even talk properly if a pretty girl entered the room. At his old school he had done all right. He had a close circle of friends, but he had moved up from the secondary school with them, so it wasn't exactly a daunting process. But here, he didn't know anyone apart from Robbie and Finn.

Robbie had made it clear that he didn't want his twin latching onto him for the whole day and whilst Finn seemed like a nice enough guy, they had only had talked briefly and he was much closer to Robbie. What if no-one liked him? What if they all thought he was some sort of freak?

He could see it now. Spending the whole year on his own because no-one wanted to spend time with the fat weirdo. Eating lunch on his own. Never having anyone to sit next to, no-one to partner up with.

The school building loomed into sight, interrupting his train of thought. He kept on walking, passing the groups of people on his way. None of them gave him a second glance, although it wasn't surprising. The year twelve's were also starting college that day, meaning that he wasn't the only newbie around. The people actually in his year probably suspected he was the year below.

The main difference between himself and the younger year was that he was alone. They all had their friends, would have moved up together and not a lot would have changed.

Trying not to dwell on those thoughts, Jason made his way to where he had been told his locker was. Luckily the layout of the building was quite simple and in no time he had found the English department where both his locker and tutor room would be.

Just like the playground, there were a number of teenagers all in little groups. Everyone was talking, catching up on what had happened over summer and the such like. Unlike some of the others in the playground, no-one looked slightly nervous here. Why should they? They had all been here before, knew everyone, knew where their classes were and who their teachers were. In that moment, Jason had never felt so alone.

The bell rang not so soon after, so he didn't have to spend too much time stood by himself, pretending to text someone on his phone. Jason had spotted his tutor room when he had entered the small year area, so knew he wouldn't get lost and be late. Considering that, when he had reached the classroom, the majority of seats had been taken, whilst the others all had bags on, meaning that they were saved or no-one wanted the new kid sitting next to them. Jason strongly suspected the latter.

There were only a few spare seats, although he knew better than to go sit on one. Just because they looked free, didn't mean the other person on the table wouldn't tell him where to go.

"Uh, can I sit here?" he asked a curly haired girl. She looked up from where she had been texting, before her eyes surveyed the rest of the room.

"Why not," she shrugged, going back to her phone. Jason quickly sat down before she changed her mind, routing through his bag to make sure he had everything he needed.

"I'm Jason," he said once she had put her phone down.

"Ruby," the girl said, smiling warmly. "You're new here right?"

"Moved here from down South over summer."

"You move fast Jase," Robbie interrupted, as he entered the room with a couple of mates, all three laughing. "I didn't know you had it in ya,"

"Fuck off Robbie," he said softly, trying not to blush. Robbie laughed again, but decided to lay off and moved to the back of the class, where a seat had been already saved for him. Figures.

"You know Robbie?" Ruby asked, frowning slightly in confusion.

"He's my twin so you could sort of say that,"

"I thought you looked quite similar," she mused. "I haven't spoken to him much, but he seems quite nice,"

"Then you obviously don't him that well," Jason quipped, causing her to lightly giggle. The room quietened slightly as the teacher entered the room, case in hand.

"Sorry I'm late guys," John-Paul McQueen yelled, causing the few pupils who were still talking to stop. Jason was surprised that John-Paul was his tutor, though he wasn't quite sure why. The few times they had met at the deli, he had learnt that John-Paul was a teacher at the college, although he had never had enough time to learn what subject he taught before Doug would drag him off somewhere.

John Paul had been noticeably absent from the deli since Doug had ended the relationship, so Jason had never been able to find out more about the college. It was nice seeing a familiar face though, even if it was his form tutor and English teacher. "I'm Mr McQueen and I'm going to be your tutor for the year."

All in all, college hadn't been that bad, Jason thought to himself as he made his way back home at the end of the day. He had clicked with Ruby quickly enough and they luckily shared a couple of classes meaning he wasn't sat on his own for most of the day.  
At lunch she had introduced him to some of her friends, though he could only remember the names of Phoebe and Dylan as the three had instantly gotten along. Both seemed down to earth and he liked Dylan's dry sense of humour and appreciated Phoebe's way of saying it like it was with seemingly little care of insulting anyone.

The door was unlocked when he arrived home twenty minutes later. That was odd in itself, as everyone should have been at work and Robbie had gone down town as soon as the final bell had rung. Cautiously, he opened the porch door, relief flooding through him as he heard Freddie talking on his phone, pacing around the living room.

"Look I don't care how you get rid of it, just do it," he snarled, freezing when he saw Jason. "I gotta go." He hung up, putting his phone in his pocket and smiling smoothly, although it looked forced and he was still looking jittery.

"I don't even want to know," was all Jason said after a good ten seconds of awkward silence.

"How was school?" Freddie asked, trying to move the subject away from his dodgy dealings.

"It was good," Jason said, trying to keep his tone neutral. He knew Freddie got involved in some... savoury goings on from time to time. Like Robbie, he had a knack for getting into trouble and doing the wrong thing. Knowing this and witnessing it were two different things however. His older brother's voice had been different, the warm and affectionate tone he used around the family hadn't been anywhere in sight, replaced by a cold and harsh voice. If Jason hadn't been around Freddie for the past sixteen years of his life, well he probably wouldn't have recognised the person speaking.

The pair fell into an awkward silence, Freddie trying to think of something else to say that wouldn't incriminate him whilst Jason tried to wrap his head around the fact that his brother _was_ involved in something dodgy and there was no getting away from it.

"I'm going to head back to the garage." Freddie finally spoke up, shrugging his jacket on and pocketing his phone. When he reached the front door, he turned back to his younger brother, squeezing his arm tightly. "Oh and Jason, don't tell mum about what you heard. We all know you like to dramatise things and she'd only worry."

He smiled coldly and released Jason's arm from the death grip it had been in, sauntering out of the house. The door clicked softly behind him, but it echoed through the silent house. Jason's breathing became louder and louder, until it was the only thing filling his ears.

What Freddie had said, could've been taken as joke, until you bought the way he said what he did into the equation. The cold, steely tone had been back, and it felt like he was looking at a complete stranger, rather than his big brother. He now knew why people feared Freddie, he was the type of person that could make you feel on top of the world and then you to shreds without a second thought.

Before now, Jason had never experienced that side of his brother, although he was probably the only one out of his siblings who hadn't. Before Lindsey had arrived on the scene, Joe and Freddie had hung out in the same dodgy crowd, and whilst Joe had moved on from all that, Freddie had never left and seemed to have brought his 'business' up to Chester with him.

As Robbie grew up, he started to hang out with a shady group from their estate, who, from what Jason understood, ran with Freddie's little gang. Although Ziggy had never been involved with anything of the sort, he was a lot closer to Freddie due to their close ages and Jason knew that they were each others confidantes most of the time.

Trying to slow his breathing, Jason made his way to the bathroom, splashing cold water on his face to snap himself out of it. That usually worked in the movies, although in real life it was a lot more ineffective. He wasn't feeling any calmer, he was just soaking wet. He pulled the soaked t-shirt off and flung it in the general direction of the radiator, trying to keep his cool and breathing under control.

His heartbeat and loud shallow breathes were the only thing he could hear. His chest felt too tight and he couldn't get enough air into his lungs. He wanted out. He wanted control. He didn't want his brother to threaten him. He didn't want to have to make a load of new friends at the college because of Robbie screwing up back _home_. He wanted perfection.

The razor caught his eye in a flash. Everywhere he looked it was always in his peripheral vision. It was stupid. He was not that kid who cut himself. He couldn't be. He wasn't a freak, he didn't have those problems. But the idea wouldn't leave his mind. He needed to feel something, anything, even if it was pain.

Everything felt numb and the only thing that felt real was his heartbeat. With a shaking hand, Jason picked up the razor and brought it to his forearm. The blade rested there for a few seconds, as he thought about what he was going to do. He slashed along his arm, hissing slightly as a sharp pain hit and a line of blood rose up.

He did it again. And again. And again. Until eventually, five straight lines ran horizontally at the top of his forearm. The blood from all five cuts merged together, until his arm became a red mess. He watched it all transfixed, until the bleeding slowed, and he realised so had his breathing. He ran his arm under the cold water, trying to get rid of the blood that would soon stain his arm. The water made his cuts sting again, and he hissed in satisfaction.

For the first time in weeks he felt alive.

He felt in control.

_And this is where it becomes interesting. I hope I wrote this to peoples satisfaction, it wasn't an easy chapter to write in anyway and I hope the pace of the story feels believable too. _

_I'm going to be starting another story about the Roscoes in the not so distant future. It will be a series of one shots and will be a prompt fic, meaning that if any of you have ideas I want you to PM me or review on this (and later the actual story when I've started posting) with them and I'll write them up to the best of my abilities. I already have three or so chapters/short stories planned out and being written up but I'll obviously need more for this story to work. Each chapter will be a stand alone, so previous chapters won't relate and they can be canon or not. _

_I'm going to stop shamelessly plugging now to let you all go back to your lives.  
Hope you enjoyed this chapter!_


	9. Chapter 9

Today was the day. It had been three weeks since Jason had had his cast removed and he had kept up with the simple hand exercises that Lindsey had shown him, making sure to complete them everyday. It seemed to have worked, because when he went back to visit Dr. Redfield for a check-up, he was told that he was fully recovered and the he was free to go back to his usual exercise routine, but to keep it low intensity for a couple of days just in case.

He had headed straight to the garage after college (thanking his lucky stars that everyone was out) with one sole intention. Changing into an old long sleeved shirt and sweats, Jason began wrapping his hands (he was taking no chances this time) before stretching.

He hadn't had another... incident since starting college and the cuts on his arm were healing nicely. Hopefully they wouldn't scar, but as he stretched he could feel them straining slightly, threatening to open up. Ignoring the slight pain, he turned to the boxing bag, trying to keep his breathing in check.

His boxing bag was in the exact same place it was before he broke his hand, although there was a light layer of dust covering it from complete lack of use. He wiped it away quickly, before he started lightly punching, getting back into the rhythm of it.

_Thump Thump _

This was exactly what he needed. He switched himself off, letting only the constant hits from his fists and where to punch next enter his thoughts, He knew he had missed boxing, but he hadn't realised how much.

All the stress and the anger from the last eight weeks left him, he could finally let it all out.

_Thump Thump_

There were boxing sessions at the gym every Tuesday night. He was thinking of signing up, a partner would do him good. After all a bag could only provide so much. He needed to rebuild his strength up first. The last two months had played havoc on his body, he could already feel himself tiring.

It wasn't just his injured arm that had been affected. The muscles in his whole body had shrunk and he knew that they were the main cause for his dramatic weight-loss (3 stone so far). But he had also lost a bit of fat, the pudge of his stomach was almost completely gone and the puppy fat on his face was now practically non-existent.

_Thump Thump _

Sure the loss of muscle was disheartening, but he knew that he could work to get it back. Would work to get it back. And he knew that he would look so much better than he once had. Before he had been trying to convince himself he looked all right, but now he knew better.

Although he had worked out regularly and therefore did have a decent amount of muscle, it was completely hidden by the thick layer of fat that completely surrounded him.

But he had gotten rid of that. Or the majority of it at least. Now, once he gained back what he had lost, the muscle would be a lot more visible. He would be a lot more visible. No-one would see him as the unattractive one in the family. The useless one. The _fat _one.

_Thump Thump _

Jason managed to continue his workout for a further fifteen minutes before pulling away, gasping for water, drenched in sweat. His fitness levels had dramatically decreased too, but he could fix that. A run around the village tomorrow morning would help.  
For the first time in months, Jason willingly took his insulin injection with no guilt. After all, he no longer needed to continue with that. The insulin wouldn't make him fat any more, not with the exercise to cancel it out.  
Finally things were going his way.

HOHOHOHOHO

The first five pounds he gained were disheartening but Jason reasoned they were nothing to worry about. After all, some would no doubt be water weight and he had heard that muscle did weigh a lot too. When he had gained ten pounds in the space of a week he started worrying, although he tried to ignore the niggling sensation in his mind that was consistently telling him he was a fat failure who would never be able to do anything right.

He continued feeling awful, the increased exercise and lack of food doing nothing to improve his mood. But the final straw was when he couldn't button up his jeans one morning before school.

They were new, like many of his clothes were nowadays, they had to be with a three stone weight-loss. When he had first got them, they had buttoned up with ease, but now they got stuck halfway up his thighs and refused to budge.

Who was he kidding, that weight he'd put on wasn't muscle or water weight. It was fat, plain and simple.

What he didn't understand was how that happened. He had been exercising plenty and only eating healthily but all he was doing was putting on all the weight he'd tried so hard to lose.

The only thing that he could think of that could cause the gain, was the increased dosage of insulin he was now taking. Had he permanently fucked his body by taking such a small amount of insulin for the better part of 3 months? Now his body couldn't handle it and was getting fatter and fatter by the second.

He shouldn't have gone straight back to six shots a day. That was stupid, his body had been in starvation mode for the last few weeks so was clinging on to the insulin and making as much fat as possible, he should have realised it sooner.

He began formulating plans in his head to try and fix the sorry mess he'd gotten himself into. He _couldn't _gain the weight back he had lost, not in fat format anyway. If he went back to the one/two shots a day, he could easily lose the weight he had put on. The sick feeling in his stomach was a small sacrifice for perfection and one he was willing to make.

Once he was back down to his old weight and it had stopped fluctuating he would slowly increase his insulin dosage. Go up one dose every week till he was back at the recommended six. It would take a while and it wouldn't be fun, but it was worth it.

Surely slowly increasing his insulin would be more beneficial to his health in the long term. An extra 4 shots in one go would be a shock to his body and he _had_ been feeling funny all week. Doing it gradually would mean his body could grow accustomed to it. And what could an extra month really do to him in the long term?

The really bad things like loss of eyesight only happened to people who did this sort of thing all the time for years, not months after all.

Mind made up, Jason stepped off the scales and pulled on his jogging bottoms and an old t-shirt before making his way downstairs.

"Going out," he called, although only his mum was up to hear him. The rest of the household were taking advantage of the weekend and were choosing to lie in, many choosing to sleep off their hangovers that had come from one too many drinks the previous night.

Sandy Roscoe however. was the only early riser in the whole family, accustomed to early starts and unable to 'waste the day' by lying in bed all day like most people.

"Where are you going at half 7?" She asked, very obviously stunned by the fact that at least one of her children was up and about so early on.

"Robbie's snoring woke me up," Jason lied smoothly, pulling on his trainers as he spoke. "I decided to go on a run, otherwise I'd have probably smothered him with my pillow,"

"All right then love." Sandy smiled, still obviously slightly stunned. After all she rarely saw any movement till at least 10 on the weekends. "You taken your insulin?"

"Yes mum," Jason rolled his eyes. "I'm not stupid." That was debatable. "See you later yeah?"

"Have fun," she smiled shaking her head in amusement as one of her youngest quietly clicked the door behind him.

HOHOHOHOHO

"You were gone a long time Jase," Sandy commented when he walked through the front door a couple of hours later, panting lightly. The house was now bustling with life and Jason had to fight his way to the sink to get a glass of water.

"Where were you anyway?" Robbie asked around a mouthful of toast. "I woke up and you'd scarpered."

"Well_ someone's_ snoring woke me up," Jason said pointedly, drinking the full glass before turning to refill it. "So I just went on a run,"

"Since when do you get up before nine to _exercise_?" Ziggy asked, he was well aware of Jason's laziness, sometimes having to drag him to the gym with him kicking and screaming.

Jason shrugged, muttering a feeble excuse under his breath, all though no-one paid him any attention. "Well don't push yourself too hard sport," Joe said, clapping him on the shoulder. "You're scrawny enough as it is, don't want you looking like a stick do we?"

The others laughed lightly, and Jason made himself join in, trying not to grimace. It wasn't fair. They all had great bodies, none of them were fat or _scrawny_. They were the ones to get attention from any girls and whilst he was often referred to as cute it was normally said in the way one would call a cat or a baby cute. Not exactly ego-boosting.

That would change though, he would make sure of that.

"Anyone need the loo? I'm going for a shower, I'll have breakfast later," When no-one went to move, Jason grabbed a clean towel from the airing cupboard and made his way to the upstairs bathroom, ignoring Ziggy's yell to not use all the hot water.

Locking the door behind him, Jason quickly turned the shower on, watching the steam rise from the boiling water. The beating of the water drops against the bath tub soothed him and he tried to focus solely on the noise, ignoring all other thoughts.

Within moments, the thoughts that had been haunting him for the last couple of months were back with full force, circling through his head at lightening pace. Turning the water up in the hope of blocking out his own thoughts had no effect. In fact, as the pace of the water sped up, so did the negative notions until they were perfectly in time with each other.

_Fat_

_Failure_

_Worthless_

_Freak_

_DIE DIE DIE_

He couldn't breath, his chest felt constricted. The light-headed feeling returned in full force as Jason only managed the shallowest of breaths. Without thinking, he grabbed his razor from the side and swiped the blade across his arm. With every cut he made, the voices became quieter, until they were practically non-existent.

Watching as the blood from the five separate cuts mixed together to run down his arm, Jason realised that he had never felt so numb. The cuts all stung lightly, but that was it. He could still hear his heart beating, but compared to just a few minutes ago, it was nothing.

As if he was on automatic, he stood up and stripped, stepping into the shower, not even wincing at the high temperature of the water. It was only as the water seeped into the cuts, increasing the stinging and the pain, did Jason truly realise what he had done.

He had done it again. The first time, well that could be explained easily enough. Freddie – his own brother for crying out loud – had threatened him, treated him like he was a stranger or a liability. For obvious reasons, he wasn't used to that sort of treatment and gone into panic mode, the sharp pain from the blade as it sliced his arm being the only thing to bring him out of it.

But this? He had no need to act like he had done, but there it was. A full blown anxiety attack out of nowhere. The fact that yet again his first instinct had been to reach for a razor had spoken volumes to him.

Two times he had... self harmed. Even thinking of those words made Jason want to hide out of shame. Why was he so weak? Only mental people cut themselves. He wasn't mental, he knew that. Everyone always called him the sane one in the family after all. _Yeah right._

It had helped though. The cutting. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing after all. He knew it wasn't a positive thing by any standards, but so far it was the only thing that got him out of his panic attacks. If that hadn't happened, then his family would have found him freaking out (and probably crying) in the middle of the bathroom at some point during the day.

They would have asked questions. Do everything in their power to find out what had caused it. And that conversation would have gone down like a lead balloon.

"_Sorry mum, I was only freaking out and basically having a break-down because I'm a fat freak who can't do anything right." _

Yeah, that was never going to happen.

Satisfied that his cuts had stopped bleeding, Jason stepped out of the shower, prepared to face the rest of the day.


	10. Chapter 10

The dangerous cycle that Jason had started continued on in the same manner for the next few weeks. Eat. Sleep. Exercise. Don't take insulin. He _had_ intended on upping his dosage, he really had, but things were complicated. Everyday he would tell himself he was going to take another injection, begin his journey to a healthy amount of shots that would keep him alive.

Everyday he would look at the needle, hands shaking. He always managed the first two, after all he had been taking that much for months now. It was the third injection that Jason struggled with.

After his 500 crunches and final weigh-in of the day, but before he had gotten ready for bed, he would measure out the required dosage of insulin. He'd hold out his finger. And then he wouldn't take it.

_I'll do it tomorrow instead. _

_I still haven't lost all the weight I put on, I can keep going for a few days. _

_What's one more day in the grand scheme of things? _

These were the thoughts that circled around his brain daily. The things that were keeping him from doing the right thing. He knew he should stop what he was doing deep down, he really did, but it was difficult. And he was fine, nothing had really changed so he could keep doing what he was doing.

So what if all his wages were going on new clothes because his old ones were too big. So what if he was tired all the time. So what if his grades were slipping.

Actually, the last one was a big deal. Mock exams were coming up for the year 13's and Jason knew he had to do well to avoid raising suspicion. His mum was already concerned about him, he'd heard her talking to Joe and Freddie the night before.

"_You haven't noticed anything... odd about Jason lately have you," Sandy asked in the kitchen, catching said boy's attention from where he was descending the stairs. "He's been awfully quiet recently and I don't think he's fitting in very well," _

"_He'll be fine mum," Freddie piped up, and Jason heard Joe mumble in agreement too. _

"_You haven't noticed him acting strangely these past few weeks then? Most nights he's locked up in his room-"_

"_Typical teenager stuff," Joe said, sounding amused more than anything. "He's at the age where family is the worst thing and the only thing you want to do is go out partying with your mates," _

"_That's the thing though," Sandy sighed, making Jason feel sick with guilt. He hated seeing his mum upset and the fact that he was possibly causing it was awful. She had done so much to help him and his brothers, but all he was doing was causing more grief. "I barely see Robbie because he's out with his friends so often, but when he's not he seems to make effort to be with the rest of us. Jason never leaves his room unless he has to go to school, work or if I've told him so. What if he's not fitting in at the school? I don't think I've heard him mention any friends ever."_

_Ouch. Jason tried not to be too offended at his mother's words, but it was difficult when even she thought of him as some sort of social reject. So, okay he wasn't going out every night like Robbie, but that didn't mean he was a complete loner. _

_He was never on his own at school, always sitting with the small, slightly ragtag group of friends he had latched onto at the beginning of the year. Ruby (the one person he was probably closest to) was only with them some lunchtimes however, being good friends with many others in the school. People like Robbie or Holly to name a few. _

_Sometimes it stung a little, knowing you were so uncool that your own twin would do anything to avoid you during school time. Robbie had made it clear that he wasn't allowed to latch onto him during the first day and Jason had kept his distance, happy to make his own friends. Turns out the people he had become friendly with were the bottom of the social pile. Figures._

_He didn't care though, he'd learnt long ago that popularity wasn't everything, and at least the people he ate lunch with didn't care too much when he zoned out randomly. They were nice too, many a time he'd turned to see Holly and a group of her friends laughing in his direction. He was never sure if it was him they were mocking or his friends, but the shame and hurt was still the same. _

_After all, no-one wanted the girl they were crushing on (and it was becoming slightly pathetic how his feelings for her were becoming stronger when all she did was make fun of him) to view them as a loser. But it was obvious that was how she saw him, though he was surprised she was one of few people who had made the link. _

_Everyday he was surprised that he had somewhere to sit at lunch, people to partner with in classes, though it was never anymore than that. _

_It sounded harsh, but he wasn't close to anyone. Once the final bell rang, contact with the small group ceased to exist. They never invited him out, and it wasn't like they stayed in all the time, he'd seen the facebook photos. It made it clear how they viewed him though. They felt sorry for him, the sad pathetic new boy who was nothing like his twin brother, who was the better one in every way; so they let him sit with them at lunch. Talked to him at school if need be, but weren't willing to be with him for longer than necessary. _

_They could feel like they had contributed to the world. Could tick off their good deed for the day, by letting the freak sit with them. It was probably better that way though, he couldn't get overly close to anyone. It wouldn't hurt so much when they got sick of him and told him to leave them alone._

"_Mum, you're panicking." Joe soothed, snapping him out of his thoughts. "Jason's fine, but he's got exams in a few weeks and he's probably just revising for those. You know how he gets about those things." _

"_I can have a word if you want," Freddie said. "Make sure nothing is bothering him" At this Jason's blood ran slightly cold. He had been avoiding Freddie since that incident a few weeks back when he had found his older brother basically threatening someone over the phone. He had even had bruises on his arm from where Freddie had squeezed him. _

_It was stupid, but now he felt wary of his brother. If Freddie thought that Jason was going to mention anything about his dodgy dealings to mum, then he was beyond screwed. Maybe he thought he was going to crack and that was why he was going to talk to him. Use it as an excuse to get a private word and threaten him again. _

"_Would you Freds?" Sandy said, her relief so obvious that Jason could practically hear her smile. Deciding that he'd heard enough of his family talking about him, Jason made his way back up to the stairs. No longer hungry. _

Freddie hadn't cornered him yet, but there was still time Jason mused during English, as he stared blankly at the poetry book in front of him, although he hadn't even read the poem yet though he wasn't the only one. They had all been given their exam timetables for the upcoming mocks during registration, and everyone's thoughts were full of possible questions that could pop up in the exam and what would be needed to revise.

Slipping the timetable out of his planner, he focused on the dates, already creating a revision plan in his head. Luckily there were still two weeks till his first exam, meaning he had two whole weeks to focus and get his head back in the game. He needed these good grades if it was the last thing he did.

If he failed? Well the consequences weren't even worth thinking about. There was no way he could hide any results from his mum and he couldn't bear with her disappointment if he did badly. He was the smart one in the family. The one actually going places. He couldn't let them down, not like that. He'd never become a doctor if he got bad results.

Not that he really wanted to be a doctor. It was more the expected thing than a passion for medicine. The whole family saw him going onto be the successful one. The one to go to university and to get a respectable job that paid well. Maybe one day, he'd tell them how he really felt, how he wanted to continue boxing, enter some competitions. Really make a name for himself on the circuit. Today was not that day though.

"So Jason, what do you think the poem expresses to the reader?" Mr McQueen asked, effectively snapping him out of his train of thought.

"Urm," Jason mumbled, trying to think back on the previous few minutes with difficulty.

"Anyone else?" John-Paul asked after a few moments of painful silence, taking pity on the young boy.

A boy at the front of the class answered with ease, whilst Jason tried to calm himself. A few seats across, Robbie shot him a curious look, obviously wondering what was up, though Jason kept his head down and refused to make eye-contact with his brother and John-Paul who was still keeping his attention on him, the concern obvious on his face. Not for him though.

Teachers never actually cared for their students, just for the grades that were being achieved.

If Jason failed this class, then he was bringing the class average down too. Mr McQueen was obviously just worried about this, Robbie had informed him that John-Paul was on his last chance, meaning that anyone failing English wouldn't be taken well by Mr Blake and it would most likely be taken out on Mr McQueen.

"Are you okay?" Ruby asked quietly from beside him when the teacher looked away, writing up some practice questions that he wanted to be tried in preparation for the upcoming exams. "You never zone out in class,"

"M'just tired," Jason murmured softly. "I didn't sleep very well last night and I'm feeling the consequences."

That was a lie and a poor one at that, although he didn't have the energy to care any more. The usual sick feeling in the pit of his stomach that had been present for the past few months had intensified significantly over the past few days. Suppressing a groan, Jason tried to ignore the sharp pain in his abdomen, although he was pretty sure it wasn't that successful when he felt Ruby's hand gently rubbing his shoulder in a soothing motion.

"You've gone really pale," she whispered. "You may need to go to the nurse,"

"I'm fine," Jason snapped, catching the attention of the rest of the class, all of whom turned around to find out what was going on.

"Is there a problem?" Mr McQueen asked, making his way over to their desk.

"Jason needs to go the nurse," Ruby rushed before he could even open his mouth.

"I'm fine," Jason protested, although even he could hear his words slurring together. "I'm just tired."

"Even still, I'd feel a lot better knowing that you're at home resting," Mr McQueen said, his tone bearing no way for arguments, although it wasn't unkind. "Ruby, can you take him to the nurse. Make sure she rings Mrs Roscoe too,"

"Can't I go?" Robbie asked, his tone light, although he kept shooting concerned glances over at Jason who was clutching his stomach in pain.

"And never see you again? I don't think so," John-Paul joked. "I'm surprised I managed to get you here at all, I'm not letting you leave now,"

"Cheeky sir," Robbie laughed.

As the rest of the class laughed, enjoying the friendly banter between teacher and student, Ruby and Jason got up from their seats. The class span around him, the laughter bouncing in his head. It was everywhere. The room wouldn't stay still, no matter how hard he tried.

This wasn't usual dizzy spell, they normally went within a second of standing up. This one was just getting worse. He didn't know if the laughter had stopped yet, in some places it sounded like it had, in others it was almost deafening.

A sharp pain hit his side and he jumped back in shock. The room was still spinning, but everything was becoming dimmer. Even the sounds. Robbie, Ruby and Mr McQueen entered his sight, from above him? How did they get up there.

He vaguely realised he was on the floor. How had he got down there? His arms shook underneath him as he tried to push himself up, and this time he was aware of falling back down again.

The noise was almost deafening again. He could hear Robbie and Mr McQueen, although no idea what they were saying. Couldn't they just be quiet? All he wanted was to sleep. He was so tired.

He closed his eyes, ignoring the two iron grips on his arms and the frantic shaking as the darkness took over. Leaving him with nothing. Nothing but the darkness.

**So something's finally happened to Jason because of him abusing his insulin. This is one of the many things that could happen to someone who restricts their insulin and I will obviously go further into it next chapter.**

**Diabulimia isn't a glamourous disease (like any eating disorder) and does have serious health risks, which will now begin to looked upon more than previously. **

**Hold on kids, because it's only just beginning. **


	11. Chapter 11

Robbie had no idea how it had happened. One moment he was mucking about in English, turning his exam timetable into a paper airplane (a completely worthwhile thing to do with his time, despite what Mr McQueen said) and the next he was on the other side of the classroom, kneeling next to his unconscious brother.

"Jason? Jason can you hear me?" Mr McQueen asked, trying to bring him round, but he lay unresponsive on the floor. "Someone call 999," he called over his shoulder, smiling in thanks as Ruby began dialling, leaving the noisy classroom in favour of the deserted corridors to make the call. John-Paul turned back to Jason, moving his student into the recovery position.

"He's diabetic isn't he?" John-Paul asked Robbie, who only nodded, eyes on his twin brother, willing him to wake up. "Do you know where his insulin is, he may need it,"

"No don't," Robbie said instantly, snatching the insulin kit from a student who had taken it from Jason's bag. "We need to check his blood glucose levels first, if they're too low then he'll need some sugar, not the insulin." John-Paul nodded, letting Robbie open the kit and get what he needed ready, trusting him to know what to do.

"The ambulance should be here soon," Ruby said, rushing back into the classroom. "And Tasha's gone to get the nurse."

"Thanks Ruby," John-Paul said, trying to stay calm. The rest of the class had long since left their seats and were slowly circling Jason, trying to catch a glimpse, he was pretty sure he spotted a camera phone whip out. "Everyone out," he commandeered, herding everyone bar Robbie and Ruby into the hallway, where he quickly ran into the nurse, who was being closely followed by Patrick Blake.

"What's going on?" He asked, a look of worry passing over his face at the chaos in front of him and from the troubled atmosphere from the class.

"Jason Roscoe's just collapsed. He's type 1 diabetic so we think it may be something related, but there's an ambulance on it's way now. I just needed to move this lot out,"

"I'll get them to an empty classroom, you get stay here," Patrick said, already directing the class away from the scene and John-Paul moved back into the classroom. The nurse was crouched at Jason's head whilst Ruby and Robbie were sat by his side, Robbie taking his brother's blood sugar, refusing to let the nurse take over.

"His blood sugars are way too high," he said once the sample had been taken. "It shouldn't be anywhere near that level," Before he could begin measuring out the insulin, the whine of the ambulance sirens wailed into the area.

"Ruby, go to the playground and bring them here," John-Paul directed, nodding in thanks as she jumped up and ran past.

The paramedics soon arrived in the English room, stretcher held between them. John-Paul explained the situation as best as he could, with the occasional interruption from Robbie or Ruby. Robbie showed them Jason's blood sugar level and the two paramedics shared a short but worried look.

"Jason seems to have gone into diabetic ketoacidosis," one of the paramedics began explaining whilst the other constructed the stretcher. "We'll have to take further tests to make sure but it seems the most likely thing,"

After lifting Jason onto the stretcher, the two paramedics wheeled him out of the room. "I'll call your mum and let her know what's happened," John-Paul told Robbie as he made to leave the room. Robbie nodded his head in thanks before turning to get to the ambulance. "Ruby go find Mr Blake and update him please. Tell him I'm contacting the Roscoe's and that I'll keep him updated."

The frizzy hair girl nodded, turning to leave. "He will be all right won't he?" she asked in a small voice.

"He's in good hands, the doctors will know what they're doing," John-Paul finally said, there was no point lying to her, she'd be able to tell easily enough. The answer seemed good enough for Ruby as she quickly left the room, going in the direction of the rest of the class. Hearing the sirens of the ambulance start up again, John-Paul went to his laptop to bring up the contact information of Sandy Roscoe. He had a difficult phone call to make.

HOHOHOHO

"Boys are you here?" Sandy cried running into the garage where her three eldest were working quietly. She had been able to leave work easily once she had found out what had happened to Jason and had pulled into the garage on the way to the hospital.

"Are you okay mum?" Joe asked, sharing a concerned look with the others.

"It's Jason, he collapsed at school and they've brought him to the hospital," she explained quickly, trying to hold back the tears.

"What? Is he okay?"

"I don't know, I'm on my way there now but I wanted to let you all know first."

"We'll go with you," Freddie said, already moving to put the tool box away.

"But the garage,"

"The garage ain't important," Joe told her. "I'll call Lindsey up now, see if she knows anything. You go ahead, we'll close up and meet you there." Thanking them, Sandy rushed back to the car and pulled out of the driveway.

The three brothers worked quickly, calling up people who were due to pick up their cars and explaining to them that the garage was now closed whilst finishing off other small tasks. Not a word was said between them until they had piled into the car and were making their way to the hospital.

"He'll be okay right?" Ziggy asked as Joe explained the situation to Lindsey over the phone.

"Course he will," Freddie replied, overtaking another car sharply. "Jase is a fighter,"

"Lindsey said that she hasn't heard anything about it, but it isn't really her department," Joe said once he'd hung up. "She's going to try and find him, but with him being family it may not work, emotional attachment and all,"

"What do you reckon it is? Collapsing isn't exactly a regular occurrence."

"I don't know Zig," Joe said, trying not to snap. The rest of the car journey was spent in silence, each brother trying not to imagine the worst and failing. Once they arrived at the hospital, they quickly pulled in and hurried to the entrance.

"We're looking for Jason Roscoe," Joe told the receptionist, trying to remain calm. "He was brought in bout half an hour ago,"

"May I ask what relation you are,"

"Brothers, we're his brothers."

The receptionist turned to her computer, typing in the necessary information and scrolling through some text.  
"Joe?" Lindsey's voice caught their attention. She hurried to the desk. "I'll take them Hetty, thank you though," She directed the three into the main area of the hospital, leading them through the winding corridors.

"Do you know what's up with him yet?" Freddie spoke up, asking the question that was on the others minds.

"The paramedics that brought him in think it may be diabetic ketoacidosis, but their doing a urine test now to make sure."

"Ketoacidosis? I thought you only got that if you didn't take your insulin."  
"That can be one cause," Lindsey said as they entered a small hallway. Chairs were dotted around, and both Robbie and Sandy sat next to each other outside one of the rooms. "But it can also be caused if he was ill or hasn't eaten properly." The four took the closest seats, trying to not look into the room where Jason was. They all failed and winced as they saw him being hooked up to various machines.

The family sat in a tense silence for a few moments before a doctor emerged from the hospital room. "As you are probably aware, we're fairly sure that Jason is suffering from ketoacidosis which has been pretty much confirmed by his temperature, pulse and blood pressure. The urine test that we have conducted will let us see how severe it is by the number of ketones present."

"Is he okay though?" Joe snapped, shooting an apologetic look over at Lindsey as she tightened his hand in warning.

"Luckily Jason was brought in quite early on or it could have been a lot worse. We're bringing his insulin levels up so his blood sugar will decrease and he's been put on a drip as he was very dehydrated, but we've managed to avoid him falling him into a coma. He's sleeping at the moment and we would like to keep him overnight."

Sandy nodded, trying to keep her full attention on the doctor and what he was telling her, instead of letting it wander into the 'what ifs' of the situation.

"We will also be enquiring as to why Jason's glucose levels were that high, but is there anything you can think of Ms. Roscoe that could shed some light on the situation?"

Sandy shook her head, trying to think back on the past few days. "I'm afraid not doctor,"

"No worries," the doctor said smiling slightly. "It was a long stretch. I'll give you and your family some time alone, although I must ask that only a few people go in the room at once. The ketoacidosis may have been caused by some sort of infection and too many people at once may leave him vulnerable."

Sandy nodded once more, thanking the doctor as he walked down the corridor and out of sight. As Robbie entered the hospital room, she cast her mind back, trying to think of anything that could explain what had just happened.

Jason had been acting odd for a while, shortly after they had moved up to Chester. Nowadays he spent as much time as he could out of the house or locked away in his room. When he was forced to spend time with his family he was grouchy and would leave as soon as he could. At first she had put it down to stress, being a teenager wasn't easy, and Jason hadn't had the easiest of times lately. Being uprooted from his home and forced to leave all his friends in his final year was education was never going to be easy, but breaking his hand and then having the pressure of making a completely new group of friends whilst some of the most important exams of his life were happening just made it all the worse.

And now this. Maybe there was something more than stress in her son's life, and she was going to find out exactly what.

The steady beeping was what woke Jason less than two hours later. He groaned, stretching slightly as he tried to work out where he was. The last thing he remembered was sitting in English. He hadn't been feeling well, but that wasn't exactly new.

Mr McQueen had sent him to the nurse and he was about to go before it all stopped. He couldn't remember anything after that, but he could probably fill in the blanks for himself. He had collapsed, he knew that, it was the only thing that made sense.

But if he had collapsed in the middle of class then that meant he was probably in... oh shit. He was in the hospital. Opening his eyes only confirmed that theory.

Ziggy was sat with him on one side of the bed though he hadn't said anything since Jason had woken up.

"What happened?" he groaned, hoping his theory would be wrong.

"You collapsed in school mate," Ziggy supplied, filling in the blanks and confirming what Jason had already suspected. When he was told that the hospital had put him on a drip he looked down and noticed two tubes. One was obviously the solution to rehydrate him and the other. The other was the insulin mix.

He could feel, getting into his system, moving around his body. He could practically feel himself inflating with every passing second and it took all his restrain not to rip the tube out. "I'll go let the others know you're awake," Ziggy said once he had finished telling Jason what he knew.

Within seconds the rest of the family had piled into the hospital room, reassuring themselves that Jason was fine and trying to answer all questions he had for them. It had barely been five minutes before the doctor treating Jason entered the room once more.

"I'm glad you're awake," he smiled holding out his hand to be shaken. "I'm Doctor Graham, I just need to ask you a few questions if that's okay?" Jason nodded and soon everyone bar the doctor began filing out of the room to give him some space.

"The main priority at the moment is to try and find out what could have caused this," he began. "You had a high number of ketones in your system which is quite a worry for us for obvious reasons. Is there anything you can think of that could have caused this."

Jason was silent for a moment, trying to think of a believable lie, though he knew that it was probably being interpreted as something completely different. "I've been quite stressed recently," he began slowly, analysing each word before he spoke it. "I'm taking my A-levels this year and there's quite a lot of pressure. I'm a bit behind because we moved at the end of the last school year and the college is a bit further ahead than my old school was, so I'm having to play quite a bit of catch up so my grades remain good.

"I'm pretty much on target now, but these last few weeks have been difficult and I've ended up forgetting to eat a few times, which before you say it, I know is incredibly stupid and irresponsible of me."

Doctor Graham was silent for a few moments, mulling over the information and reading over Jason's chart. "Have you also forgotten to take any of your insulin injections recently or have you been ill at any time?"

"I'm pretty good at keeping on target with my jabs, I've been a few hours out on some occasions but

I wouldn't say it was often enough to worry." Jason began, formulating different stories in his head, scrapping each one as quickly as he thought of them. "I have been feeling a bit weird though. Stomach pains and headaches mainly, I just thought it was the stress." At least it was partly true, he had been having those symptoms, just not for the reason he had said.  
The doctor nodded, scribbling something else down before placing down the chart and making his way to the various machines that were attached to Jason. He looked at one at the screens and seemingly satisfied by what he saw he detached on of the wires from him.

"You're blood glucose levels are back to normal but you're still very dehydrated. We're going to keep you in over night for observation, but if things keep progressing the way they are you should be free to go tomorrow."  
"Thank you doctor," Jason said, wishing he was at home. He would have to take the insulin now, otherwise the doctors would know something was up and he'd never be let out. He couldn't let that happen, couldn't allow anyone to become suspicious. If that meant he had to grin and bear it whilst he was injected with the one thing he hated the most, he would do it.

After all it would only be for a day. There shouldn't be that much damage caused, nothing he couldn't easily fix anyway.

As the doctor quietly left the room, he let the exhaustion take over, falling into an uneasy sleep.

_So we have a reason to the collapse now! Ketoacidosis is a short-term symptom of diabulimia but is incredibly dangerous. If not treated early enough, the person can fall into a coma and even die. It is caused when there isn't enough insulin, so the body turns to burning fatty acids instead. This will then produce acidic ketones. _

_Unfortunately I won't be able to update till mid-August because I go away on holiday tomorrow. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and I'll see you all then. _


	12. Chapter 12

_So I'm back! I had a fab time on holiday but I'm also glad to be back home and writing with ease once more. _

_This chapter is a bit of a filler chapter, but does set foundations for things that will be looked more closely on later on in the fic, so I hope everyone enjoys. _

The next morning, Jason was woken by a petite young nurse moving around in his room, checking over his vitals, a look of concern on her face. When she noticed that Jason was watching her, she smiled brightly and exclaimed loudly "Ah you're awake."

"Obviously," Jason muttered, his mood already falling foul as he rolled his eyes though he didn't think the nurse had heard him. If she had, she made a pretty good show of pretending she hadn't and passed him a tray of food (though it was probably generous calling it that) and watched as he began picking at it.

"Can I help you?" he asked a few minutes later, slamming his fork on the tray, becoming more and more unnerved as she refused to look away.

"You should eat that," was the only thing he got for a reply. "You need your strength, you gave everyone a big scare yesterday."

"Well, it wasn't exactly my intention to collapse in the middle of class," Jason snapped, not even feeling bad when the nurse winced and her face fell.

"I'm not saying it was, but you're going to have to look after yourself, I doubt I need to tell you about all the possible health risks that could be caused by having your glucose levels so high."

"Are you saying I did this to myself?" Jason asked, trying to sound as incredulous as possible. "Why would I?"

"I'm not saying that at all," The nurse replied, her cheeks flushing an impressive red as she began stumbling over her words. "I'm not saying you purposefully didn't take your insulin, but the Doctor does need to look at all possibilities to find out why this happened."

"And I told him exactly what he needed to know yesterday. But what I said isn't any of your concern."

The nurse looked down, fiddling with her fingers. It looked like she was contemplating whether to say more or not. Jason was sorely hoping she'd just leave but luck really wasn't on his side. "Ketoacidosis is a very serious side effect of not looking after yourself properly when you have diabetes. You could have fallen into a coma if you hadn't been treated when you were."

"I know. I'm aware of the risks of my diabetes, I'm not stupid."

"And I'm not saying you are, I just wanted to help and make you more aware of what could have happened and all the possible risks,"

"I've been suffering from this since I was 11 years old, I'm well aware of the risks."

She nodded again, and looked over Jason's vitals, taking his blood sugar as she went, before measuring out the insulin needed.

"I can do it," Jason snapped as the nurse went to inject.

She nodded nervously, passing the needle over to him. He injected quickly, glancing pointedly at the young woman before she left the room.

Once she'd left, Jason let out a shaky breath, slamming the kit on the nearby table with a sigh.

It wasn't fair, he had been doing so well, his weight had been falling off and he was almost done. If he lost just a bit more than he'd be ready, could start increasing his insulin once more. He was guessing he had around a stone left to lose and then he'd be perfect.

After that he could start working out more, increase his muscle again. But this time it'd be better, it wouldn't be hidden under all his fat. He'd finally look good, people would take notice of him and not just his brothers.

But now it was all potentially ruined. If only he was stronger, better, then he would never have collapsed. It could all go wrong now, he was having to take his insulin regularly again, the nurses were all too interfering and he couldn't get away with not taking it.

It sickened him, with every single injection he could feel himself getting fatter, the hospital gown was straining against him, almost ripping at the seams, trying to hold back the fat that was threatening to break free.

It wouldn't be much better at home, everyone would be watching him now, making sure he did what he was meant to, no matter the consequences. But he wasn't going to giving up, he couldn't. He wasn't there yet, the doctor had gone on and on about the consequences of not taking his insulin, but hadn't said a thing about losing weight. He thought that he might have mentioned something about his own recent weight loss (couldn't doctors tell if someone had lost a significant amount of weight in a short amount of time?) but there had been nothing. He obviously wasn't doing well enough, wasn't skinny enough yet. But he would be. And soon.

He was dragged out of his thoughts when a nurse entered (luckily a different one from before).

"Your mum's just arrived," she said smiling, and that was when Jason noticed she was carrying his clothes from yesterday under her arm. "She's signing you out, so I'll let you get changed." She placed the clothes on a nearby chair, and began unhooking Jason from the drip and other wires that had been attached to him. Once that was done, she helped him out of bed before leaving the room when she was satisfied that he would be fine on his own.

"I'll just be down the hall," she called before clicking the door behind him.

He nodded, slipping out of the hospital gown and pulling his jeans on. He let out an absent minded yawn, wondering how he was still tired when he had slept for so long. His head was still banging and the sick feeling that had been present for the last few months hadn't left but he wasn't feeling so dizzy.

Collapsing, no matter where it was, was bad. Although no-one knew the real reason why it had happened, Jason did. He knew it was because of what he was doing to himself. He knew all about ketoacidosis and knew it was caused by not taking insulin. If he had been taking his medicine then his blood sugar wouldn't have risen so high and he wouldn't have collapsed. But he hadn't been taking it, and he had collapsed.

He had done that to himself, had almost gotten himself killed. All because he hadn't taken a few sodding injections. The worst thing about the whole situation was that he still didn't want to stop what he was doing. It was stupid, he knew that, he really did.

He knew about all the health risks that came from not taking insulin, and the collapse highlighted the facts even more, but... it was addictive. He wanted more, the head rush every time he stood up, the decreasing numbers on the scale, the fact that if he looked hard enough he could see his ribs, made it all worth it.

He'd have to be more careful though. The whole family would be watching him like a hawk now, the school too. Sandy would constantly be checking his blood sugar, would watch every jab, he'd never be free of it. Not if he wasn't clever anyway. He just needed to be a bit more sneaky now is all.

But he could do it. Could prevent raising his family's suspicions even higher. Could make sure he didn't collapse again and still reach his goal. He would lose that final stone if it killed him, he couldn't remain the way he was, it still wasn't right. It wouldn't be easy, but everyone loves a challenge. Jason's would just be a little harder.

}}}}}}}}}}}}}

"Is there anything else I can get you love?" Sandy asked, passing over a steaming mug of tea. They'd been back for only twenty minutes and already Jason was feeling suffocated by her constant mothering.

"I'm fine thanks," he said, taking the tea from her and lightly breathing over the cup in the hopes of cooling it. "Just a bit tired."  
"Well I'm not surprised," Sandy replied, sitting next to Jason and turning to face him. He cursed inwardly, preparing himself for the talk that was due to come. "What happened to you yesterday could have been so much worse than it actually was, and I'm so grateful you only had to stay the one night in hospital."

"I know how bad it could have got," Jason sighed, tightening his grip on the mug, the burning sensations on his hands keeping him grounded. He yearned for the razor blade in the upstairs bathroom, but the boiling china against his skin would just have to do. "The doctor and all the nurses informed me of that at every chance they could get."

"And I'm informing you again. Is there anything you're not telling me Jason? Anything at all? I won't judge you in anyway, I promise you of that, but I need to know if some-thing's wrong. Ketoacidosis isn't normal and you shouldn't start suffering from it by a silly accident."

"Like I told the hospital, I don't know what caused it," Jason told her through gritted teeth. The constant questioning was quickly becoming old. Why couldn't they just leave it? Why did everyone have to become involved? It didn't concern them, he should be able to do whatever he wanted to his body, it was_ his _after all.

The idea of telling his mum was slightly tempting, he wanted to be able to tell someone, to tell them what was going round and round his head every second of the day. He wanted his mum to help, to take away all the voices, all the self-doubts, to make him like himself again. But that wouldn't happen. Sure she said she wouldn't judge, but she would. She'd be disgusted, by how weak he was and by how much of a failure he was.

Then he'd be locked up in the nearest mental ward and never let out. So opening up and telling his mum all about it? Out of the fucking question.

"The doctor said something about when I was sick a while back," he continued, acting like nothing had happened. "The infection may have stayed in my body and with all the stress because of exams, my body may have reacted badly to it."

Okay, the doctor hadn't said anything of the sort, but Jason had hinted at it enough times during his short stay that he was pretty sure it would be written down as the official cause. It could actually happen too, which is what made his lie so believable.

When he was eleven and had just been diagnosed he had spent hours researching diabetes and other illnesses that were directly caused by insulin abuse. Ketoacidosis was pretty common, but as well as being caused by one not taking their insulin, it was also caused by stress and infections in the body. Years later he was surprised that all the research he had done was coming in useful, but he wasn't going to complain. If it made easier to pull the wool over his family's eyes and keep them blissfully unaware of what he was doing, well he wasn't exactly going to stop.

Sandy nodded, mulling over her son's words. Like Jason, she knew that infections and stress could cause ketoacidosis though it was rarer than insulin abuse. Unlike him, she knew it because of her years training as a nurse and not through hours and hours of research.

"Okay, I'm not saying you're lying Jase, I'd never do that, but I just want to make sure you know you can talk to me about any-" She was interrupted by Freddie and Ziggy piling through the front door, both smiling over at Sandy and Jason before they made their way to the kitchen, grabbing plates from the side and leftovers from the fridge.

"I'm going to my room," Jason muttered, draining the last of his tea and trying his best not to slam the now empty cup on the coffee table. He wasn't sure how well that went, seeing as it clunked loudly against the table, but the cup didn't break so he'll count it as a success.

As he made his way up the stairs, Sandy couldn't help but sigh to herself. Something was up with Jason, every time she looked at him she could tell, but she couldn't even begin to wonder what it was. At first she had put it down to him being a typical teenager, but now. Now she wasn't so certain, he'd been acting _off _for almost four months and he wasn't showing signs of stopping.

He seemed completely against opening up to her though and she just wished she knew what was wrong so she could help.

"You okay mum?" Ziggy asked coming through from the kitchen, Freddie close behind. "Where's Jase gone? Swear I saw him when we got in."

"He's gone to his room, but that's partly the problem." At her two sons blank looks she hit them lightly against the chest. "I'm worried about him, don't tell me you haven't noticed something's up. Have you been able to say anything to him yet Freds?"

"I was going to but I haven't had chance. He did spend the night at hospital remember,"  
"Cheeky bugger," Sandy replied, making Ziggy chuckle lightly before piping up.

"He'll be fine mum, you worry too much, always have done."

"And, I'll have a word with him later. Give him a chance to cool down first, he might say something to me, with me not really having any authority over him."

Sandy smiled in thanks, grateful she had the family she did. They had all grown up to love and care for their family like she had wished and it was at times like this, when one of their own was struggling and the others all did what they could to help when she felt proudest of being a mother.


	13. Chapter 13

Jason was roused from his light sleep by an incessant knocking. "All right, all right, I'm coming." he muttered, wiping the sleep from his eyes, trying to make himself look a bit more presentable.

As he went to open the door he glanced at the clock, sighing as he realised that even after three hours of extra sleep he was still exhausted.

Swinging the door wide open he tried to suppress the slight fear that had instantly appeared at the sight of Freddie, leaning against the door frame, looking incredibly unimpressed.

"Since when do you knock?" Jason asked, making sure that he was completely blocking access into his room.

"Don't be a twat jase," Freddie grumbled, pushing past with little effort and sitting on the desk chair, spinning round half-heartedly.

"Obviously your manners begin and end with knocking,"

"Since when did you become so spiky?" Freddie asked, sounding more amused than anything else, but was that a glimmer of concern there too? No don't be stupid, Jason berated himself, of course he didn't care.

He braced himself for the threat that was due to come, waiting for Freddie to tell him to keep his mouth shut about that phone call. If only he had walked in a few minutes later, then he wouldn't have heard anything and none of this stupid mess would have happened.

"Is everything all right mate?" Wait, what? That wasn't exactly expected, what was Freddie playing at.

"Don't pretend like you care," he scoffed, choosing to go straight for the defensive. Freddie didn't say anything for a few minutes, blinking in confusion as he tried to wrap his head around what Jason was saying.

"Not really pretending though, just want to know if anything's wrong with you and if I can do anything to help."

Moving so he was on the other side of the room, Jason leant against the wardrobe, rolling his eyes once more, choosing to show his annoyance. "Look, I won't tell anyone about that fucking phone call okay, not like they'd care anyway," he snapped, ignoring the way Freddie was looking like he'd been slapped. He was too mad to let him speak, all the anger, wariness and even fear of what could happen to him, that had built up over the last few weeks was pouring out and he couldn't control what was coming out of his mouth. "Just stop with the constant watching okay? It's driving me round the bloody bend and it's really weird."

"What phone call?" Freddie asked, arching an eyebrow and looking completely dumbstruck at Jason's rant.

"What phone call. You know, figures that you completely blank it," he snapped, earning another concerned look from Freddie. "It was a few weeks back, college had just started. I came in and you were talking to someone. Told them to get rid of something, and then told me not to tell mum because she'd wouldn't believe me, when you realised I'd overheard."

"Is this what this has all been about?" Freddie sighed, though Jason could tell he was still amused by the whole situation, his blood boiling at Freddie's blatant disregard of the entire situation. "I didn't mean it mate, I was just stressed out. A friend of mine just fucked something up that he wasn't meant to."

"Well like I said then, though I doubt you remember that too, I don't care. We both know it was something dodgy, looks like you can't drop old habits even when we're halfway across the country."

"Oh come on Jas-"

"And don't tell me you weren't serious," Jason continued, not letting Freddie speak up. "When I was walking round with a bruise on my arm for a _week _because you grabbed me too hard when you were basically _threatening _me." Knowing he'd be unable to continue the argument without it ending violently, Jason huffed and stormed out of his room, leaving one very confused Freddie Roscoe behind.

A mix of guilt and confusion hit simultaneously as the older Roscoe tried to wrap his head around what had just happened. He cast his mind back to the day that Jason had been referring to, the confusion only growing when he realised that he couldn't see why Jason was reacting so violently to the situation.

He remembered the day well enough, he'd given another chance to Ste to sell some gear, but it'd gone sour and the police had been tipped off somewhere along the line. He'd been angry at the former deli-owner and they'd been arguing quite loudly over the phone. At some point Jason had arrived, and okay he had snapped at his brother, but he was angry.

He'd lost out on the chance for a decent amount of money and he was scared that the police may link him to the drugs. He trusted Jason not to say anything, out of everyone in the family, he was always best at keeping quiet, but he was scared and angry and he said things he didn't mean. When he had calmed down, he had felt guilty about what he said, but had simply assumed that Jason knew that he wasn't being serious.

He'd never hurt his own family, hell half the things he did do, were to protect them and keep them all out of harms way. For his own brother to think that he'd hurt him, well it stung. Had Freddie changed so much, become so twisted that his own flesh and blood were now scared of him.

Trying to shake himself out of the depressing thoughts, Freddie soon found himself focusing on the other half of what Jason had said to him.

"_Walking round with a bruise on my arm for a week." _

He remembered grabbing Jason, squeezing his arm, but it wasn't meant to hurt him. He only meant to warn him, make sure he wouldn't tell anyone (not that he thought he would anyway), he hadn't even squeezed him that hard, well he thought he hadn't. How had he even bruised him? He had done much worse to his younger brother when they were kids and never left a mark then.

Something was seriously up with Jason, much more than being a typical teenager and he was going to find out exactly what it was.

}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

The rest of the day hadn't gone much better for Jason. Both Joe and Lindsey kept asking why he had collapsed and why he'd fallen into ketoacidosis for the entirety of dinner. Each time he shrugged and gave back the vaguest possible answer he could, until both of them finally gave up, though he could still feel their eyes on him.

Freddie had continued acting weirdly after their little 'chat' that afternoon and hadn't even taken his eyes off of Jason for the entirety of dinner. He was listening closely to whatever answers Jason gave to Lindsey and Joe and he knew he'd have to be even more careful if Freddie was keeping tabs on him, for whatever reason that was. After that he had followed Jason everywhere he went until Freddie finally cornered him as Jason was getting ready for bed.

He'd been brushing his teeth and going for his final weigh in of the day (up three pounds since his collapse), but when he had tried to leave the room, he had found his path blocked by his older brother. And that was when it had gotten really weird, even for Freddie.

He had stared at him for a solid two minutes at least, refusing to move from the doorway, but never speaking up. When he'd finally had enough of being stared down by his brother, Jason had sighed and tried to push his way past. It really was becoming too much of a regular occurrence, why couldn't he, just once, walk through a door like a normal person, without any obstacles (or annoying brothers) to push past.

His movement seemed to spark something inside of Freddie, and he pushed right back. Unfortunately, the elder Roscoe was much stronger so won that fight easily.

"What do you want Freddie?" Jason asked, turning back to the bathroom mirror to play with his hair half-heartedly.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay,"

"Not this again Freds," Jason groaned, already yearning for razor blade that was taunting him from the side. Instead he tightened his grip on the sink, hoping beyond hope that it would help keep him grounded and partly sane. He didn't need to cut, he didn't. He'd already done it earlier that day, six sharp lines across the top of his forearm when he got back home from the hospital, to remind him what a failure he was.

That would normally be enough, he used to be able to cut every few days and then be fine, wouldn't even think about it for close to a week. But he needed to do it more and more, what used to be once or twice a week was quickly becoming an everyday occurrence. He didn't even want to think what that meant for him, but the need for the blade, only hours after it's last use was scary. What was he becoming?

"Yes this again," Freddie snapped, earning a sharp eye-roll from Jason. Why couldn't he leave well alone, instead of getting involved in something that didn't concern him? And why was he related to some of the nosiest people in existence? "You collapsed Jason. That isn't normal, and you've been acting weird for ages too. We're all worried about you and I-"

"You what Freds? You were nominated to talk to the freak? What, you all draw straws? Mum pick names from a hat? Everyone else had prior plans?" Jason was yelling now, but he couldn't seem to stop, relishing at the shocked and slightly hurt look on Freddie's face. "I am fine. Completely tip-top in fact, the only problem I have is you! All of you, why do you have to get involved with my fucking life. It's mine not yours." With that, he stormed past, not having any problem pushing Freddie out of the way this time, who for the second time that day, had been shocked into silence. Jason slammed his door behind him, shocking Freddie out of his stupor. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself and wrap his head around what he had just witnessed. His younger brother wasn't a violent person in the slightest and like Ziggy, it took a lot for him to snap, but this seemed to come out of nowhere. How much was he bottling up if this would all pour out of him when asked a simple question?

What was happening to Jason? Because he definitely wasn't the same laidback lad he was in London.

"What the hell is going on up here?" Sandy cried, running up the stairs, and Freddie saw the others all crowded at the bottom. "We heard shouting."

"Nothing," Freddie said smoothly, trying to give his mum a reassured smile, though she didn't look convinced. "Me and Jase were just messing is all, we didn't mean to be so loud."

"Is that all?" She asked, moving over to Jason's door, and knocking lightly. "Jason, you okay sweetie?" After a second or two of silence, the door swung open, revealing Jason, his cheeks still flushed from the earlier argument.

"Is what Freddie said true? Were you just mucking about?" Jason looked over at Freddie sharply, before turning back to their mum. It was a tiny glance, no more than half a second, but Freddie could see a wide range of emotions there, that left him even more confused than ever.

The anger was still easy to see, though not unexpected, but the surprise and slightly sceptical look in his eyes due to Freddie covering for him, stung. Did Jason really expect Freddie to just drop him in it?

They had never been like that, it was an unspoken rule between all five of the brothers. If it's bad, keep mum out of it. Why would he think that he would just disregard the rule now?

"Yeah, it's true," he finally muttered, only managing to keep eye contact with Sandy for a few seconds. "Sorry if we got too loud, just got carried away I guess."

Sandy nodded, though she still looked unsatisfied, like she knew that they weren't telling her everything. "Well, keep it down okay boys," They both nodded, murmuring apologies to her as she passed, making her way back to the living room.

Neither of the two brothers moved for a moment, caught in a staring match from opposite ends of the hallway. Just as Freddie opened his mouth to say something, anything that would get Jason to open up to him, the younger Roscoe had huffed, slamming the bedroom behind him.

Suppressing a groan, Freddie felt the beginnings of a headache forming, he was going to find out what was bothering Jason if it killed him.

_And now it's getting really interesting. As you can see, more and more people are becoming suspicious of what Jason is getting up to and it's only going to get worse from this point. The collapse has definitely been the catalyst for this as before they never had a reason to worry for him and Jason just isn't sneaky enough to pull the wool over everyone's eyes. _

_The next few chapters are mainly dealing from the others point of view, which I'm excited to share with all of you, it's slightly different from previous chapters but is necessary as it shows you exactly what damage Jason is causing to himself and others. _

_I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please review and tell me what you thought. _


	14. Chapter 14

"Robbie, are you sure Jason's ok?" Sandy asked the next morning as her youngest grabbed a couple of slices of toast. "I'm still not sure about letting him go back to school, he only got out of hospital yesterday for God's sake."

"Jase is fine," Robbie grumbled around a bite of toast. "He hasn't said anything anyway, and you know what he's like. Hates missing school, no idea why."

"Well we all know you don't have that view," Ziggy chipped in, snatching the milk from Freddie's unsuspecting grip. "Did you even go to school in year 11?"

"Ha bloody ha," Robbie quipped, rolling his eyes, before he went to grab his shoes.

"Check on Jason before you go," Sandy called. "If he's adamant about going to school, he's going to need to get down here soon if he wants to be on time."

Grumbling lightly he jogged up the stairs, shrugging on his hoodie as he went. "Mum's throwing a fit Jase, you better get down there-" The words died on his lips as he opened the bedroom door, coming face to face with his twin, who immediately squawked and grabbed his top from the side, pulling it over his head as quickly as possible, to try and cover himself.

"Knock would you," he snapped, once he had straightened out his shirt and was looking slightly less rumpled.

"Uh, yeah, sorry," Robbie managed to stutter, mind still firmly focused on what he had just seen.

"You gonna move then?" Jason asked, an amused glint in his eye, pushing past Robbie when he only blinked in return. What had he just seen, he wondered as he heard Jason moving around downstairs.

His twin had always been a bit smaller than him, but it wasn't that noticeable in the grand scheme of things, what he had just seen, completely went against that. Before Jason had managed to grab a shirt, Robbie had been literally shocked into silence by how _thin_ Jason had become. His ribs were poking out and his stomach was practically concave. His arms, had always carried a fair amount of muscle on them, were now practically tooth picks in comparison and Robbie was shocked that his brother could even lift a pen.

He tried to cast his mind back, trying to think what Jason had looked like that last time he had seen him without a shirt on. It had been a few months back, before they had arrived in Chester. The pair of them, along with a few friends had gone to the local outside baths, enjoying the heat wave whilst they could. It had been a good day and from what he could remember, Jason had looked pretty normal. Healthy at least.

Which meant, all this would have happened in the last five or so months. Being that weight anyway wasn't healthy in the slightest, but to have seemingly lost so much in just a few short months was even worse. How had he lost it? Why?

The words eating disorder flashed through his mind, though Robbie quickly discarded them, telling himself not to be so thick. Did guys even get eating disorders? He wasn't sure, though he had only heard about girls with eating disorders, and when that person from CAMHS had gone into school and talked about mental issues in year 10, she had never mentioned guys with eating disorders, just girls.

Jason couldn't have... that anyway, he was always eating, hell he's had two helpings at dinner just last night. So why was he so thin? He looked malnourished for god's sake, that didn't just happen to someone, and if he was eating normally, how had he lost the weight?

Another reason jumped into his head and Robbie hated himself for thinking of it. But, with the recent mood swings and weight loss, it made sense and was incredibly plausible. Before he could think too much into the matter, he was interrupted by Sandy yelling up the stairs, telling him to get to school. Shaking himself out of his thoughts (and hopefully banishing that memory of Jason to the back of his head), Robbie grabbed his bag and made his way to school.

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School was just as bad as Jason had feared it to be. Everywhere he went, people were staring at him. And why wouldn't they, he was the weirdo who had collapsed in the middle of class and had to be rushed to hospital. Ruby had practically pounced on him once he was past the school yard, fussing over him and demanding he tell her what was wrong.

So he briefly explained what had happened, patiently answering all her questions about ketoacidosis that she had, until she was satisfied with what she had been told. Never mind that half of it was complete and utter bullshit.

The thing is, with having Ruby as one of your closest friends (even though she didn't view him like that, the girl was stupidly popular and had an army of friends, all much closer to her than he could ever dream of), you instantly get told the latest gossip. And this week, the students of Hollyoaks High were talking about one thing. Him, of course. Isn't that just fantastic?

Before the first bell, he's learnt about at least half a dozen rumours that were going round, each more dramatic and stupid than the rest. But it didn't stop there, as the pair walked down to tutor, at least 99% of the students all turned to watch him, waiting with bated breath to see if he'd collapse again. A few of the more courageous students looked like they were going to go up to ask him about it, though a single glare from Ruby was enough to stop them in their tracks.

Which was great, because his mind really wasn't focused on what happened a few days ago, instead, he was solely thinking about what happened that very morning with Robbie. Jason hoped beyond hope that he hadn't seen anything before he had grabbed a shirt on, though he knew he wouldn't be so lucky. Robbie's reaction spoke volumes too, he couldn't even look at him afterwards, couldn't even speak to him in fact as they had made their way to school.

_He's disgusted by you. You're so fat he probably felt sick just looking at you. No wonder he never wants to be near you at school, who wants to be known as the fat fucker's twin. _The voice in his gleefully told him. He knew it was right too, he just wanted to go back to the morning and stop it from ever happening, now he'd have to deal with disgusted looks from Robbie for God knows how long.

He was ashamed to be even seen with Jason in public, and it would be even worse now Robbie knew how much of fatass he really was. The only slightly positive thing, was that Robbie hadn't seen the cuts on his arm. Who knew what would happen then, but it wouldn't have been pretty. But Jason knew his twin wouldn't have let it go if he had seen them, no, he would have demanded to know why they were there, littering up the better part of his left fore-arm, asking why he did it to himself.

He'd have thought him even weaker than he did already, become even more ashamed than he already was, and Jason wasn't sure that he could cope with that.

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The morning lessons were luckily quite painless. Although he got stares every time he entered a classroom and the corridors were still quite intimidating, Jason wasn't approached once by any of his fellow school-mates. The main reason for this was probably due to the fact he was never left alone. Phoebe had latched onto himself and Ruby on the way to Biology and had stuck by his side through the whole of second period and into break, when even Ruby had left with some of her other friends.  
"You are all right yeah?" she asked as they wandered past a gaggle of giggling year eights.

"I'm fine Pheebs," he sighed, trying to keep the irritation out of his voice. She was only being a good friend and he had no right getting annoyed at her for it.

"It's just it looked dead serious and Robbie was worried all of yesterday."

"Robbie can't do worry," Jason said, his tone light.

"You didn't see him, it was... weird." Just as Jason opened his mouth to make another comment, Dylan rushed down the hall, stopping when he reached the pair.

"Hi Jase," he smiled before turning fully to Phoebe. "Where were you? We're meant to go to down town before next lesson. Mrs Vanders will kill us if we don't-"

"I'm so sorry Dylan," Phoebe gasped. "I just started talking to Jason" (That wasn't true, since the end of the lesson, they had barely said anything. Despite being in the same social group they had little in common, though Jason did appreciate the effort she had put in). "And completely forgot."

"If we go now, we should still have time," Dylan pointed out, glancing down at his watch.

Phoebe bit her lip, clearly conflicted. "You go," Jason finally said, trying to keep the hurt and slight embarrassment of being left alone out of his face. "I don't mind and it seems urgent."

"You sure?" Phoebe asked, hugging him tightly when Jason only nodded. Both Dylan and Phoebe quickly left, their laughter ringing through the hallways. Now he was on his own the remaining fifteen minutes of break looked a lot more scary.

It felt like everyone was staring at him, throwing him dirty looks, laughing at him, calling him weak. Jason couldn't breath, the air around him too hot and heavy, all around him, he was being mocked. He couldn't do it, he had to get out of there.

Rushing down the corridors, Jason manoeuvred his way round groups of people, all of them staring. He heard his name being called a few times, though he didn't know who by. Didn't know if they were talking to him or about him. He just wanted to escape, that was all that was on his mind as he ran round the nearest corner and straight into one of the lower year's, the girl's books falling all over the floor.

"I'm so sorry," he apologised, thankfully snapping out of the panic he had been in.

"Watch it," she snarled at the same time, brushing her long blonde hair out of her face, revealing (and Jason felt like crying at this point, why was life so unfair?) Holly. She was still glaring as Jason continued cursing his life, though he got down and began picking up his books.

"Cheers," she said when he passed them back to her, a look of mild surprise on her face. "Most people would have just left them,"

Jason shrugged, hoping he'd be able to leave sooner rather than later. It wasn't that he didn't like talking to Holly (in fact it was one of his favourite past-times), it was just that he always ended up making a massive idiot out of himself every time they were in contact with one another, and he would really rather avoid that. "Guess I'm not most people," he finally shrugged.

"Yeah, I'm starting to see that," Holly said, looking at Jason intently. Uncomfortable under the close scrutiny, Jason began squirming slightly. "Are you okay? After what happened and all,"

"Yeah I'm fine," Jason smiled, secretly thrilled at the fact that Holly actually cared enough to ask, he didn't even feel that annoyed about the same question being directed his way for what was probably the hundredth time. "Well as fine as someone could be I guess, when they've just collapsed I mean. My head's still a bit funny-"

Fuck! He had started rambling and couldn't get himself to shut up, he just kept talking utter crap. Why hadn't he just stopped at 'I'm fine', that was all she wanted to know, she didn't actually care, was only being polite. Well last time she'd do that, if he was going to tell her his whole fucking life story whenever she showed an interest in him. Finally and very fortunately he managed to shut himself up, his face flushing an impressive beet red colour, as Holly raised an eyebrow.

"I'd think I'd get sick of people asking me the same thing every time too," she finally said, smiling. Wait, what? Jason blinked, trying to hide the confusion that he was currently feeling. Did Holly think he was being sarcastic and not just his usual tongue-tied, bumbling self? Knowing not to push it, Jason just nodded.

"It has been getting pretty tedious."

"Don't get too mad at people though, we only care about you," Jason numbly nodded again, trying to wrap his head around the situation. Holly cared, about _him?_ His train of thought was broken when one of the blonde's friend's called her over, she muttered a quick good bye before running over to the small group.

"What were you talking to that freak for?" one of them asked, a tall girl with long black hair. She shot Jason a cruel look, seemingly unaware that he could hear her, or maybe she knew and just didn't care.

"Shh Cara. I was just being nice, he lives near me is all." Holly replied, flicking her hair over her shoulder.

"Well don't make it a habit," Cara replied snidely. "His brother may be hot but he's the biggest loser I've ever seen. I mean have you seen how he dresses? Who the hell wears that many layers every day, he looks homeless."

The others girls all cracked up, though Holly didn't look so comfortable laughing along (or at least Jason hoped she wasn't) before they linked arms and strutted down the hallway. Cara's words rang in his head, going round and round, bringing back the feeling of panic that he had hoped he'd got rid of.

He looked down at what he was wearing and cringed, he knew he looked awful but he was freezing. The weather seemed to be much colder than it should be and even the school heaters weren't as warm as they should be. He would find himself shivering at random intervals and the only thing that helped was a ridiculous amount of clothing. Not that, that always worked either.

As the bell rang, signalling the end of break, Jason made his way to his next class, choosing instead to focus on what had happened between him and Holly. So they hadn't really had a proper conversation, but it was better than it normally was. She seemed relaxed, more so than when she was with her so called 'friends'.

Maybe there was more to the blonde haired girl than met the eye, she certainly was nicer when she was on her own. Less cold and actually caring, Jason couldn't help but smile as he replayed the scene over and over again, settling into his seat, ignoring the confused and somewhat surprised look he got from Ruby at his apparent happiness .

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Whilst the day had been surprisingly painless for Jason, it was another matter entirely for his twin. Robbie couldn't get the image from earlier that morning out of his head, and spent most of his day trying to work out what was going on, his second theory appearing more and more logical the more he thought about it. This meant that he was unusually quiet and unresponsive and it led to him being told off at least twice every lesson for not paying attention, though all the teachers were somewhat grateful he wasn't causing any havoc.

He couldn't ask Jason outright he knew that, his brother would only avoid the subject. It was all he was doing these days, changing subjects and lying when he saw fit and if anything it would only cause a fight between them, something they didn't need. Their relationship had been incredibly rocky recently and Robbie didn't want to put any-more strain on it.

But maybe he could ask someone who could have a better idea than him. He tried to think of someone who could possibly have some answers, someone who had been acting weird around Jason, and that was when the perfect person came to mind.

Which is why he was where he was now, dithering outside a door, trying to work up the courage to knock. He needed to do this, this person may know something about Jason, may have spotted something he had missed. He needed the answers and he needed them now, so taking a breath he knocked on the door, entering when he heard a faint cry for him to enter.

"I think we need to talk about Jason," he finally said, a full minute after the pair had been sitting in silence, waiting for the other to talk up first.

"I think you're right," Freddie nodded, leaning back on his chair, a look of worry passing over his face.

_Oooh cliffhanger! (Somewhat anyway). I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter and various interactions Jason had. The main reason was to show everyone that people do care for him (despite what Jason may think), he does have a support system and people who want to help him. _

_The talk with Holly was quite a big thing and I'm not sure what I'm going to do with the pair at the moment. I admit, I do want them to get together on the show, but for this story, I'm undecided. If they do enter a relationship it will not be a healthy one in the slightest because of Jason's current mindframe, but it will highlight the fact, that just because someone is in a relationship and has a person that loves them, their problems will not magically disappear. They will still hate themselves and it will show how the other person (in this case Holly) deals with the person they're with, hating themselves. _

_I'd love to hear people's feedback on that bit, to see what you all think I should do. _

_The main thing in this chapter was Robbie becoming aware that something's not quite right. He's seen what damage Jason is doing to himself (and I put that in so you guys can also realise how far he's going, after all Jason isn't in the right mindframe to acknowledge that he's becoming dangerously thin). _

_Of course he's now paired up with Freddie, who already has his own suspicions and the next few chapters are going to see a lot of the pair working together to try and help Jason out. Both brothers have their own theories (and you'll find out Robbie's next chapter so don't worry about that), though Robbie has already thought eating disorder and not believed that. I did that to one, annoy you guys (I'm joking, kind of) and also to highlight the fact that many times eating disorders in men aren't taken seriously.  
About one in ten people with eating disorders are male and the number is only growing, yet it's still very much a taboo subject. Diabulimia even more so (that's not even an officially recognised eating disorder). _

_Again, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and feel free to leave a review, I love hearing from you all. _


	15. Chapter 15

_I want to thank everyone for the amazing feedback I've been getting so far for this story. This isn't the easiest of stories to write and to know that people are enjoying is fantastic. This is slowly becoming the longest story I've ever written and I'm pretty sure that I'm not even halfway through this tale yet. _

"I think we need to talk about Jason," Robbie finally said, a full minute after the pair had been sitting in silence, waiting for the other to talk up first.

"I think you're right," Freddie nodded, leaning back on his chair, a look of worry passing over his face.

"You've noticed too then," Robbie sighed in relief. He wasn't surprised that Freddie had realised something was up, he was incredibly perceptive when he chose to be and Robbie had noticed the way he seemed to be keeping a closer eye on Jason recently, despite his twin desperately trying to get away from him whenever he could.

"Something's up with him" Freddie mused, trying to hide back the worry he was feeling for Jason. "The question is what."

"Have you noticed how much weight he's lost recently?" Robbie said after a moments hesitation. He wasn't sure whether this needed to be brought up, he may be worrying over nothing but what he had seen had... scared him. He needed the reassurance, whether that be positive or negative.

Freddie was silent for a while, obviously deep in thought. "I guess he is a bit thinner, but I don't think it's much to get worried about." He began, voice slow as he thought over every word he said with extreme care. "I'm thinking he's got involved in something he shouldn't, he's been acting a bit paranoid recently."  
Robbie bit his lip, the image of what he had seen flashing before his eyes. He wanted to say something, he really did, but he wasn't sure whether he should. He didn't want to be seen as dramatic, the fact that he was this concerned and showing it to was a miracle in itself.

"What is it Rob?" Freddie leaned forward, noticing his brother's dilemma.

"It's just, earlier this morning... well I went into our room and... I could see his ribs." Freddie was silent, his face slowly paling as Robbie continued. "He looked ill, like he'd been starved or something."

"Are you serious?" Freddie asked, his tone quiet though hard. When Robbie nodded he cursed, dragging his hands through his hair. "Do you have any idea why?"

"Well, I had been thinking... drugs?" Robbie replied, though it sounded more like a question. "It'd make sense, the weight-loss, the paranoia, mood swings and I don't know whether I'm jumping the gun here, but he's been wearing long sleeves for a while, like he's hiding needle marks or something."

Freddie nodded, mulling over Robbie's words and trying to think of any other possibility, though none were making themselves obvious. Finally he had to accept it, there was little else that made sense and he couldn't think of anything else that ticked all the boxes, though he couldn't help but curse his brother's stupidity if it did end up being that.

As the sons of a drugs counsellor all five Roscoes knew the symptoms and warning signs of addiction and drug abuse as well as the dangerous side effects, and due to personal experience, both Freddie and Robbie had seen all of it up close.

To their knowledge Jason had never even touched the stuff before, but if what they were believing was true and they didn't do anything... well the consequences weren't even worth thinking about.

"We need to talk to him," Freddie said, standing up, ready to find Jason and talk some much needed sense into him. "And now."

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Robbie wasn't sure if it was luck, but the two brothers managed to find Jason incredibly quickly, he was sat at the skate park, so deep in thought he didn't look up until Robbie and Freddie had sat on either side of him.

"What the hell?" he asked, his tone biting, though they both placed a hand on his shoulders meaning he couldn't stand and leave like he so obviously wanted to do.

"I think we need to talk," Freddie said softly, trying to show his brother that he wasn't angry, though the caged look that was all over Jason's face as well as the furious glare he shot Robbie didn't do much to placate him. Something was obviously wrong.

"Yeah, well I don't,"

"Oh lay off Jase," Robbie scoffed, his annoyance taking over from the fear and concern that he was feeling and Freddie had to shoot a warning look over to him so he'd stay quiet. So far this 'chat' wasn't going as well as he had hoped it would and he really hadn't had high standards.

"What Robbie means, is that we're just worried about you. You've been really distant recently and we just wanted to make sure that nothing was wrong."

"I'm fine," Jason said through clenched teeth. "Why won't you just accept that and move on."

"So that's why you looked like a fucking skeleton when I walked in this morning," Robbie snapped, the stress and worry he had been feeling for his twin finally letting out.

"And you called me dramatic Freds," Jason scoffed. "He's the real _queen _of the family."

"What did you just say?" Robbie growled, launching to his feet and looking ready to batter Jason to the ground.

"Strike a nerve did I? You've always been homophobic haven't you Robbie? Why though, that's the question. Trying to hide something from us?" Jason's tone was mocking, though his eyes were as cold as ice and Freddie knew he wanted a reaction. He wanted a fight, something Robbie was more than willing to give. Throwing caution to the wind, Robbie stepped forward, his intention clear to see for all though Jason didn't move from his spot, seemingly content to take the punch that would be coming his way.

"Stop it," Freddie snarled, standing up too and trying his best to restrain his younger brother. "Both of you. Can't you see we're just worried about you Jason? We just want to help."

"Well there's nothing to help with. I'm fine." Jason spat, also on his feet. "Why can't you just let it go."

"I'll let it go when you show me your arms," Robbie spat, stopping his struggling.

Jason paled instantly, tugging on his hoodie sleeves even though they were both already down to his wrist. "What? Why do you want to see my arms?"

Both Freddie and Robbie were silent for a while, trying to convince the other to speak up first, whilst watching Jason's reaction to the question. A look of pure panic had washed over his face and a sheen of cold sweat was clear to see. Finally Freddie took the bite, taking pity on his brother, knowing it was cruel keeping him in the dark like he was, though his reaction so far was not doing much to convince him that Jason was clean.

"We know Jase. We know you're doing drugs." Jason baulked slightly under the twin stares though he seemed to be slightly more relieved than he had been previously

"Drugs?" he finally asked, his voice breaking slightly in the middle of the word. "You think I'm on drugs? Have you two finally lost it?"

"You have to admit it makes sense."

"No. No it doesn't," Jason said, his voice a mixture of shock and outrage. "I am not doing drugs. I have never done drugs. And I never will." The last sentence was practically shouted as he tried to keep a lid on his temper. "Just because you two disregard everything mum says about them and do as you please, ruining you own lives and other people's too doesn't mean I'm as fucked up.. I can't believe you'd even accuse me of that."  
"Look, it's nothing personal, we're just worried."

"Oh it's plenty personal." Jason snarled, stepping away from. "Just stay away from me yeah. I don't want to speak to you two, never mind look at you." With that Jason turned around, practically running towards town and as far away from his brothers as he could get.

The two remaining Roscoes watched him go, a twin feeling of regret and failure falling heavy into their gut. "Do you believe him?" Robbie asked, his voice sounding surprisingly young and child-like as he looked towards his big brother to lead the way and make the decisions, no matter how difficult.

"No." Freddie sighed. "No I don't."

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"Is Jase in?" Robbie asked Joe as he and Freddie barged through the front door, only one intention on their mind.

"Nah, sorry mate," Joe answered, looking up from the paper he had been reading. "Haven't seen him since this morning actually. He ok?"

"Yeah, he's good," Freddie yelled over his shoulder as both he and Robbie ran up the stairs, the latter pushing his bedroom door open unceremoniously, both lads entering instantly. "Right, we know what we're doing?" Freddie asked, falling to his knees before Robbie could answer.

As one they worked through the room, pulling books off of shelves, emptying drawers, rooting through bags all in a desperate manner to find anything. Needles, pills, money, anything that would show them that they were right.

"You got anything?" Freddie asked as opened up an old board game, chucking all the things inside on the floor.

"Nothing," Robbie sighed, not slowing in his searching. "There has to be something here." He trailed off as the bedroom door was pushed open, revealing a very horrified and confused Joe Roscoe.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Both boys froze, straightening up and looking at the mess they had created. Now they were actually looking at the damage they caused, they realised it didn't look good.

"We have to tell him Freds," Robbie finally said, refusing to break eye-contact with his confidant. "He needs to know."  
"Know what?" Joe asked, his patience already wearing thin. Slowly the pair began to talk, explaining what they had seen and heard and what they were suspecting could be the cause behind Jason's erratic behaviour.

"And that's we were going through all his stuff, to see if we could find something." Robbie said. "There has to be something here, and if we find it we can do something."

"Don't be daft you two, Jase would never touch drugs," Joe scoffed, though his face betrayed him, showing the fear and the wariness that he was feeling.

"Well you tell us what you think then," Freddie snapped, the pressure of what had been happening finally getting to him. Although it had only been a couple of days since his suspicions had been raised it felt like much more and he wanted nothing more than to go hide in his room and stay there till all the problems had gone away. But he couldn't do that, hiding wouldn't help anyone in the slightest.

He needed to do everything he could, had to help Jason as much as he would allow and get the rest of the family see it too. He couldn't do this alone, the fact that Robbie had also seen a change in Jason had already taken a huge burden off his shoulders but help from Joe and Ziggy wouldn't go amiss either.

"Please, just help us Joe," Robbie asked and his voice sounded so... broken that Joe hesitated. Robbie wasn't known for his sensitivity and rarely showed anyone that he cared for them, so for him to show open worry and fear for his twin meant it had to be serious. Joe didn't believe for a second that Jason would ever touch drugs but whatever had been bothering him for the last few weeks was obviously incredibly serious if Freddie and Robbie were willing to tear apart his room in search of answers.

Before he could answer, a loud gasp and a muttered curse from Freddie caught his attention. His younger brother had pulled open one of the desk drawers that had been previously unchecked and was staring in shock at it's contents.

"What?" he asked already fearing the answer. If Freddie_ had_ found drugs then they were in a world of trouble. Surprisingly Freddie held up a cartridge, though it was familiar to everyone in the room.

"Insulin." Robbie breathed, though he sounded as confused as Joe felt by Freddie's reaction. "He always keeps some in here, you know that."

"I don't think he should be keeping this much in here though," Freddie said, his voice low. He placed the first cartridge on the table and then picked up a large handful, repeating the movement two more times till a large pile of cartridges had been built up. "This is enough insulin to last someone for months. It should be in a fridge so it won't go off, so why is it in here?"

"This month's lot is still in the fridge though." Joe pointed out, his confusion only growing.

Robbie nodded, knowing what Joe said to be true. He moved over to the cartridges and began looking through them.

"Uh guys." Both brothers looked over, not liking the worried look on their younger sibling's face. "Some of this stuff is months old. It's all out of date and hasn't even been opened."

"What the hell is he playing at?" Joe asked no-one in particular, trying to wrap his head around the situation.

"We need to find him now," Freddie said, eyes flashing with determination. As he made his way to the door he tripped on the upturned desk chair. "I think we're going to have to clean up first though."

_Uh oh... Jason's in a wee bit of trouble. Yet another cliffhanger ending (you all love it). So we've gone from the brothers thinking Jason's got a drug problem to this... whatever this is. And Joe knows too! I hope you're liking the fact that I'm slowly getting the family involved and aware instead of in one big go. _

_I think the added secrets are just a bit more destructive and it's easier to explain certain things if I can do it a bit more slowly. _

_I hope you enjoyed this chapter, as always leave a review! _


	16. Chapter 16

_I'm glad everyone is enjoying the story still, and the fact that I'm letting the brothers know one by one. That was the bit I was most nervous about, so cheers for reassuring me. _

Surprisingly it didn't actually take a lot of time to put the twin's room back into it's original order, though it was partly due to three people cleaning up and also because the mess made was mainly superficial. Once done, the three brothers ran out of the door, desperate to find their brother before he did something he could regret.

They got to the centre of the village in mere minutes, eyes peeled, all searching desperately. "Maybe we should split-" Freddie suggested before being interrupted by Robbie who pushed past, jogging over to the water fountain.

"Who's that?" Joe asked, as he saw two teens who had been talking quietly look up when they saw Robbie come over.

"Classmates?" Freddie shrugged, following his younger brother, Joe close behind.

"Look I'm just asking if you've seen him?" They heard Robbie ask, his voice straining slightly as the boy and girl exchanged looks. "Please Phoebe, Dylan you must know something."

"Why would we?" Phoebe asked, her tone biting as she looked at each of the brothers, clearly unimpressed.

"You are his mates," Robbie snapped, only calming when Freddie placed a hand on his shoulder. "Has he said anything to you recently? Been acting weird?"

"He's never told us anything," Phoebe scoffed. "Ever, I wouldn't know what's normal for that boy."

"What Phoebe means," Dylan spoke quickly, wilting slightly at the combined glares of the Roscoes. "Is that he never seems interested. When he first came we kept asking if he wanted to hang out with us but he always said no, seems like we're only good during school when there's no one better."

"Yeah, we've just stopped bothering, no point if he doesn't want to be with us,"

"Fuck," Robbie groaned, trying to hide his ever increasing fear. Jason had never been the most social of people but when he had friends he stuck by them till the end. In London he'd always been out of the house, making plans and meeting up with people, his behaviour now just didn't match up. "If you see him, just get him to call me."

"Why?" Phoebe asked, looking slightly alarmed when she realised that all three Roscoes were incredibly worried for their brother. "What's happened?"

"Can we do anything?" But neither teen was answered as the family had already run off, still desperately searching.

"We should split up," Freddie said, continuing with his previous thoughts. "We'll find him quicker and then we just call each other if we find him,"

Joe and Robbie both nodded, seeing sense in Freddie's plan. "So, where next?"

}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

"You sure you're okay bruv?" Ziggy asked once again as he slid a glass of orange juice over to Jason. They'd been at the Dog for the past twenty minutes and Jason was still as pale and... twitchy as he had been when he'd stumbled into the garage not so long ago.

"I'm good Zig," Jason said, smiling weakly over at his brother. "I just needed to get out of the house for a bit, the others were driving me round the bend."

He hadn't known where he was going to go when he had ran away from Freddie and Robbie, he just knew he needed to get away. He couldn't keep up with their constant questioning, it was too much and if they kept up at he'd crack. He could already feel it happening, anymore pressure and he'd break like a porcelain doll. It was coming, he could feel it, but he could hold it off, just for a bit longer.  
He didn't need to cut. He didn't need the blade to pierce his skin. He didn't need to feel the sharp sting as the blood trickled down his arm. He just didn't.

He thought they'd figured it out earlier, when they'd asked to see his arm, but what they had thought up was even more ridiculous. Drugs? Really? But even a drug addiction was better than the truth. Why couldn't they just leave it a bit longer? He was so close to the end, he knew he was. He could practically taste it, only a stone more, a measly fourteen pounds and then he would have been free. He would have been perfect.

But no, they just had to interfere. Had to get themselves involved in something that didn't concern them. He knew exactly what he was doing, he wasn't hurting them, why couldn't they just leave it well enough alone. It would be even more difficult to hide the truth than he had originally anticipated.

He knew that with him just out of hospital the whole family would be watching him more closely than before (hell that was proved at dinner last night) but now Robbie and Freddie were playing detective he knew he would have to lay low.

If they saw him skipping his insulin injections, if they knew he wasn't taking it when he should be then the all drug claims would be out of the window in favour of new theories. They'd think things that weren't true. Words would be thrown around, words like eating disorder. Words that weren't true. He didn't have an eating- _that _he didn't have _that. _What he was doing wasn't going to be a permanent thing, it was just a temporary measure to improve himself. Once he reached his goal he'd stop and go back to normal.

_But you'll never reach that goal, you'll never be perfect. Even if you weighed 100 pounds you'd still be fat. You can never be perfect. You can never be anything but fat, but you can sure as hell give it a go. _

Jason shrugged the voice in his head away (it was getting harder with each passing day, every minute of the day it was there, telling him he was wrong, fat, a failure) and tried to concentrate on what Ziggy was saying.

Ziggy was safe, it was why he had gone to find him. Unlike the others, Ziggy didn't have any suspicions (although he hadn't said anything, Jason had seen the looks that Joe had been giving him), when he was with Ziggy he could relax. No questions would be thrown his, and if they were, well it was more than easy enough to throw his brother of the scent.

Not that Ziggy was stupid, it was just, well, he was more trusting than the others. Unless he had evidence to make him think otherwise, Ziggy was incredibly easy to convince and that was what he needed. He needed someone to believe the lies, to not question and to just talk to him. Talk to him like he used to, about girls and grades and the garage, not drugs and suspicious behaviour and lies.

"You haven't seen Joe or Freddie have you?" Ziggy asked, sighing when Jason only shook his head. "They went on their break hours ago. Said they'd only be half an hour and I haven't seen hide or hair of either of them since. We've got three cars that need to be ready by _tomorrow _and I can't do it all on my own."

"Well I could help," Jason offered, anything to keep him out of the house and busy was a must at the moment.

"Nah I couldn't ask you that. You need to rest after your little collapse, Mum would kill me."

"Well, don't tell her," Jason said, smirking when he realised that Ziggy was coming round to the idea. "And I just won't do anything too strenuous."

"All right then, lets go," Ziggy said, finishing his drink and grabbing his phone from the side. Less than two minutes after the pair had left, Freddie entered the pub, groaning when he couldn't see Jason skulking about anywhere.

_Not in the dog. _He text both Joe and Robbie, already trying to think of some place else Jason could be.

}}}}}}}}}}}}

Joe couldn't hold back the sigh when he read Freddie's text. The three had been looking for a good half hour so far with no luck. They had tried the Dog, the garage (which was empty, Joe would really need to talk to Ziggy about that), the coffee shop, the folley and everywhere else that they could think of.

"You got any idea of where he's hiding?" Robbie called from the other side of the lane, startling Joe.

"None," he sighed, waiting for Robbie to catch up before he continued walking. "We should wait for Freddie to come back and then try again, knowing our luck he's probably moved."

"Speak of the devil," Robbie said when he spotted Freddie, frantically typing on his phone as he sauntered over to them.

"Jase still isn't answering his phone. What are we going to do now?"

"I was just saying we could look again, better than nothing," Joe shrugged, not looking forward to running around the village like a madman once more.

"Shall we call Ziggy?" Robbie asked, already pulling his phone out. "I mean, there's no point leaving him out of it, he may have even seen J."  
"Nah, there's no telling where he'll be." Joe said, shaking his head at the grisly image that popped into his head. "Weren't at the garage when I checked."

"That cheeky bugger," Freddie cursed. "One of us should go back there, we can't afford to lose business on top of this."

"Right, off you go then," Joe said, motioning for Freddie to leave.

"Wait, what? You want me to go?"

"It was your idea bruv, and you've spent far too much time skiving recently, better get those hours up."

"Sometime I really hate you," Freddie snapped, though there was no bite behind his tone. "Just find Jason whilst I'm gone ok?" Not waiting for an answer he turned and made his way back to the garage, pausing in surprise when he heard blaring music from the building when he was still at the bottom of the drive.

Annoyed that he had been sent to the garage when there was no need for him to be there, Freddie went to turn back, but the familiar figure of Jason caught his eye. Making sure he was hidden, Freddie watched for a few more moments, to make sure it was his younger brother he was actually seeing. His suspicions proved to be right though, and after a few moments of watching he pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialled Joe's number.

"I've found Jase."

}}}}}}}}}}}

"Right, okay, cheers Freddie," Joe said, hanging up and pocketing his phone once more. "He's found Jason," he told Robbie, already jogging out of the main part of the village.

"Where is he?" Robbie asked.

"Garage with Zig," Joe answered sharply, pausing when he realised that Robbie had stopped suddenly.

"Our garage?" he asked, and Joe nodded, already knowing where this was going. "You mean the garage that you checked earlier and then went onto say was completely empty. Which now has our two remaining brothers in it."

"Well he obviously moved," Joe replied shortly, not in the mood to be teased. He needed to talk to Jason and quickly. "Now, come on." The two brothers picked up their pace and raced over to the garage, hoping that talking to Jason and getting a proper answer out of him would be easier than finding him had been.

"What took you so long?" Freddie hissed, when Robbie and Joe had finally made their way over to the garage, a nail-biting ten minutes after Freddie had called them.

"He's still there right?" Joe asked, a flash of worry hitting him as he peered around that wall that Freddie had camped behind. He sighed when he saw Jason working, chatting light-heartedly to Ziggy.

"What are we gonna do?" Robbie asked, restraining himself from just running into the garage and demanding answers right there and then. "Are we telling Ziggy what's going on?"

"No," Joe answered sternly, ignoring the shocked looks from his two brothers. "We don't tell anyone else until our suspicions have been confirmed. There's no point worrying Ziggy or mum or Lindsey unless we know what Jason is doing is serious."

"He's not taking the very medicine that's keeping him alive," Freddie answered, wincing as the words left his mouth and the situation once again hit home. "How much more serious can it get?"

"And that's what we need to find out. We need to get Jason back to the house and ask him about it, but Ziggy stays here. You'll know he'll only worry."

"What if Jase has told him what me and Freddie said? About us thinking he's on drugs."

Joe snorted, pointing over to the flirt of the family, who was dancing along to the songs on the radio, singing loudly into a spanner. "Does it look like Jason has told him anything?" Both Freddie and Robbie nodded, seeing sense in what Joe was saying. If Ziggy knew anything was slightly wrong he would be trying his hardest to try and fix it, no matter what.

Although he seemed the most light-hearted and fickle of the family his loyalty to his brothers could never be faulted and Ziggy had put his own life on the line many a time in the past to try and help his brothers out.

"So how are we going to do this?"

"Only one way," Joe said, pushing off from the wall. "We go straight into the lions den." Before the remaining two Roscoes could protest, their older brother had stood away from the wall and had begun walking up the drive way. Knowing there was nothing else they could do, they shrugged before following Joe.

Jason spotted his brothers first, though Ziggy quickly caught on when he realised Jason had frozen in place. "Look I know Jase ain't meant to be working tonight, but he did offer," he began, hoping the others wouldn't be mad at him. "And you did leave me on my own."

Although he was initially confused, Joe caught onto what Ziggy was saying fairly quickly and had to suppress a smile. Unknowingly the younger Roscoe had given him the perfect reason to get Jason out of the garage without raising suspicion.

"It's fine Zig, and we're sorry about leaving you high and dry, but me and Fred had some _business _to deal with," he said, keeping his voice low and steady so he wouldn't panic anyone. "We know Jason wouldn't strain himself, he knows his limits, but mum going to be back any minute and she'll go spare if Jase ain't there."

Jason winced at what Joe said, glaring daggers at both Freddie and Robbie, though neither looked away. "I'm fine Joe really, and Mum will be cool."

"I'd rather not have her worrying though mate," Joe replied. "And you know how she gets. You should really start heading home."

Before Jason could protest once more, Ziggy spoke up again. "Joe's right bruv, she'll never let you out of the house if you're not there tonight."

"Why does everyone treat me like I'm made of glass or something," Jason growled, though he moved to get his bag. "Come on, lets go," He pushed past all three brothers on the drive as he stormed back to the house. Joe, Freddie and Robbie all shared a worried glance before turning to hurry after him.

"Hey!" Ziggy called after the four retreating figures. "Ain't nobody going to help me out here?" But there was no reply as all his brothers continued on their path, hoping it wouldn't be as destructive as they thought it would be.

_And so another chapter ends and I think we all know it's going to get very messy in the next few. _

_As always leave a review and I'll see you all again in the next four/five days! _


	17. Chapter 17

_So I'm very excited for the next few chapters because they're all so jam-packed! There's a lot going on and the pace is really picking up and will continue like this for a while. I'm very excited to post this chapter and the amount of restraint it takes me to not post a new chapter the moment I've written it is huge. _

_I'm updating this a little earlier on in the day than I normally would, but I have an interview for sixth form later and possibly wouldn't be able to update till much later on in the day otherwise. _

_I just want to thank everyone for their lovely reviews and I do try to reply to them all though of course I can't if they're anonymous so I just want to thank you guys too. They seriously mean the world to me and I love the feedback I get from you all. _

Jason was the first to arrive home, though his three brothers were all close behind him. The walk back home hadn't been a pleasant one, every time they had tried to catch up with Jason he had sped up until eventually the others gave up, preparing themselves for the chaos that would be shortly caused.

The younger Roscoe slammed the porch door behind him as he entered the house, Freddie's foot caught in between it and the door frame. "Jesus Christ Jase," he yelled, foot throbbing as Robbie only snickered.

"Sorry," he muttered, not looking apologetic in the slightest as he sat on the nearest sofa. "Where's mum then?"

"Seems we were mistaken, she's won't be back for another half hour at least." Freddie told him, sitting on their sofa, desperate to take the weight off his foot. There was no sense of satisfaction when he saw the caged look return on Jason's face.

"You lied?"

"I thought you'd have been smart enough to figure that one out bruv," Robbie snarked, unable to keep the edge out of his voice.

"We just need to talk is all," Joe said, shooting warning glances at his two younger brothers.

"Please tell me they haven't convinced you I'm some sort of druggie now too."

"No, don't worry they haven't."

"Good, cause it's a load of crap."

"And that's what I told them when I found them going through all your things." The three brothers all stiffened, both Freddie and Robbie glaring at Joe for dobbing them in and Jason glaring at them, though he occasionally glanced over to Joe unsurely, like he wasn't sure whether to believe his eldest brother or not.

"You what?"

"You heard me." Joe replied, leaving no doubt in Jason's mind. Before he could protest like he so obviously wanted to do, Joe continued. "And that's when we found something really interesting. Do you know what that could be?"

"A huge bag of pills? Some needles? Sorry bro I ain't got a clue," Jason began, though he was looking uneasy and... scared?

"We found a drawer full of unused insulin. Some going back all the way to July. Now can you tell me why that is?" For the first time the room was enveloped in silence as Jason frantically looked from them to the door, like he trying to figure out if could make a run for it and not be caught.

"I can't believe you went through all my things. Does the word privacy mean nothing to you?" Jason exclaimed, completely avoiding the previous question. "If you've messed up all my stuff and I can't find anything-"  
"Don't worry we tidied up," Freddie snapped, refusing to let the subject drop. "Just answer the damn question."

"Or you'll what? Beat me up? Oh please," Jason sneered, reclining on the chair.

"We're just worried about you Jase," Joe took over, knowing that if he let Freddie or Robbie continue, the situation would only get worse. "And we can't understand why there's weeks worth of insulin in your room."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Jason shrugged, obviously deciding that going on the defensive was the best way to do things. This seemed to be too much for Robbie whoever, who stood and towered over Jason.

"Just stop with the bull already," he snarled. As both Freddie and Joe shot up to stop Robbie launching at his twin, Jason curled into himself more than he had been previously. Nausea was rising throughout and the wooziness that he had been feeling for the last few hours was only getting worse. He knew he needed another shot, he'd had one earlier that morning, under his mother's watchful eye but that was almost twelve hours ago and he still wasn't fully recovered from his stay at the hospital just two days previous.

He couldn't just go and grab his kit though, although his brothers would go and let him get it, they would question why he seemingly hadn't been taking his insulin before even more intently. No, he needed to get out of the argument, he needed to be away from their watchful eye before he could even think about giving himself a jab. Unfortunately he wasn't doing so well on the argument front, because he was too tired and sick to focus. Jason had no idea how he was going to get out of it and away from his persistent family, but he knew he had to try.

"Calm down Robbie," Jason snapped out of his thoughts to focus on his brothers, who fortunately were still trying to placate Robbie and hadn't noticed the fact that he had completely spaced out.

"I'm not gonna calm down," he snapped, shrugging off their grip. "We all know he's lying, has been for months even. You look like a fucking skeleton," he directed at Jason who winced at the accusation.

"Bit dramatic Robbie," he stated, refusing to back down and hoping that if he went on the offensive he'd be able to leave sooner. "But then again, you've never been one to do something with level head."

"He's only concerned J," Freddie spoke up, the former anger melting from his voice in favour of worry that they were all sporting. "Just like we all are. You've been acting weird ever since you broke your wrist and I think we should know why."

"Oh, you think you should know why?" Jason laughed cruelly, relishing the moment as his family winced at his cold tone. "What gives you the bloody right? Oh yeah, you don't have one. This is my life, let me do what I want with it without interfering."

"I think our right is that your our brother and you seem to be doing something that could kill you," Robbie snapped, too in the moment to watch his words. "We know you're not taking your insulin, we just don't know why. But we are going to find out, if it's the last thing we do."

Arching an eyebrow, Jason looked coldly at Robbie, sitting up into an upright rigid position. "Well, not that, that wasn't lovely, albeit slightly threatening, but I think I'm going to go now, you're constant creeping is getting old and I'm tired."

When Jason went to leave no-one stopped him, an unexpected yet pleasant surprise. He sluggishly climbed the stairs, limbs objecting to the strain, but finally he made it up. Even the walk to his bedroom was a difficult one and Jason knew he really was cutting it fine with his injection. Knowing that he needed the insulin and actually taking the damned stuff were two very different things however, and it took a further five minutes for him to convince himself to jab his finger, wincing as pushed down the plunger, watching the insulin make it's way into his body.

His eyes stung with unshed tears as the day's events raced through his head. Joe, Freddie and Robbie all knew what he was doing, sure they didn't know why yet, but they'd find out, sooner rather than later.

It made him feel sick just thinking about it. His brothers were all smart and he was surprised that they hadn't got Sandy involved. Unless... Jason couldn't contain the gasp, what if they did tell her? His breath hitched just thinking about it, no they wouldn't. They _couldn't _tell her, it would ruin everything. He'd be made to stop, there was no way he'd be able to continue.

"Boys I'm back," Sandy's voice rung through the house and the panic that he had just been feeling only rose. What was he going to do? He had to do something, they'd tell her everything, he knew it. Already he could hear Freddie's voice rumbling through the house and it took everything for the young Roscoe not to break-down right there. No, he couldn't do that. He couldn't cut either, there wasn't any time, but he yearned for the blade more than anything. Instead he made do with scraping his own nails against his forearm, opening up some of the newer cuts and relishing the sting that pounded through him. Taking a deep breath, Jason wiped his eyes, preparing himself for the fireworks.

}}}}}}}}}}}}

As Jason had suspected, Joe, Freddie and Robbie had dragged Sandy into the living room as soon as she had arrived and sat her down on the far sofa, much to her surprise and suspicion. "I talked to Jason," Freddie started, they all knew she had been concerned about Jason, and the silence she was getting from him was only putting her through hell.

She sat up, attention completely on Freddie as he fiddled with his jacket sleeve, a nervous tic he'd had since he was a child that he'd never quite defeated. "Well, what did he say?"

All three exchanged loaded glances before turning back to their mum. "There's no easy way to say this," Freddie slowly replied, analysing each word he said before it had left his mouth. "But uh, he wasn't exactly open about what was bothering him. Me and Robbie thought he might have started doing drugs," At this Sandy's jaw dropped.

"Please tell me your not serious. Not my baby." She shook her head, unable to believe what she was being told.

"So we decided to search his room," Freddie ploughed on, now that he had started he was unable to stop and he just wanted to get it over and done with. There was no pleasure holding information back and he knew that Sandy would need to know everything before they tried talking to Jason once more. He just hoped that she would be able to do something, anything to help their little brother out, after all, she was the one with the years of experience.

Taking another breath and looking away from Sandy who was clearly in shock, Freddie continued explaining with what had happened only a few hours before. "He had a whole drawer full of his insulin. Some of it was from months ago, some from weeks, but none of them had been opened."

"Are you saying-" Sandy continued, unable to wrap her head around what Freddie was implying, let alone say it.

"We think Jason hasn't been taking his insulin. And if what we found was any indication was anything to go by, it's been going on for a while." Sandy was silent, unable to accept what she was being told though she realised that it did make sense.

Running her hand through her hair, she made a quick decision and called Jason downstairs. He arrived fairly quickly and Sandy was surprised by how _ill _he looked under the dim lighting. Why hadn't she realised what was happening earlier on?

Sure she knew something was wrong, but she had merely been thinking in terms of his recent attitude change, but she hadn't even considered his newly gaunt appearance.

"Is what they're saying true?" she asked, hoping that if she was direct then she'd be able to cut out on the bull.

"Depends on what they've been saying," Jason replied, still standing in the doorway, shooting his brothers dirty looks.

"Have you not been taking your insulin Jason?" she asked again and her tone bore no room for arguments. She wanted answers and she wanted them now.

"Of course I have," he replied defiantly. "You saw me take it this morning for God's sake."

"That's one out of six," Freddie pointed out, not looking away when Jason glared at him "And it would certainly explain why you ended up in hospital with ketoacidosis two days ago."

Sandy nodded, mulling over her second eldest's words and seeing sense in them. Jason spotted this straight away and a look of outrage took over his whole face. "You can't say you're believing this? Why would I not take my insulin? It doesn't make any sense, I know all of the health risks so why would I want to put myself in danger of that happening?"

"We don't know Jase, that's why we're confused." Joe told him, trying to keep control of his temper, which was slowly growing shorter as they continued going round in circles. "If you're telling the truth, why don't you let mum check your room,"

The outrage on his face only grew and everyone saw the glint of panic in Jason's eye. "And have it all messed up again? Crap tidying up job you did earlier, my notes are everywhere."

"Got something to hide?" Robbie asked, hating himself when the caged look on his twin's face appeared once more.

"No," he said, though it was too quick to be truly convincing. "Fine, if you really think I'd be that stupid, check for yourself." He relented, moving from the door frame to let Sandy go past and elbowing Robbie non too lightly as he went to follow. Joe managed to quickly break up what could have been a nasty fight and soon the five were about to file up the stairs preparing themselves for answers.

Just as Sandy was about to enter the bedroom, Ziggy came crashing through the front door, still covered in oil from his shift at the garage. "I hate you all," he declared loudly. "And I'm demanding the day off tomorrow, you left me there all on me- hey, what's going on?" Ziggy asked, confused when he saw the whole household scattered on the steps.

Sighing, Freddie jumped down the bottom two stairs and pulled him into the living room, ready to explain what had been happening for the third time that day. Despite the brief distraction, Sandy turned back to the door with a determined look in her eyes. She took a deep breath and tried to brace herself for whatever was on the other side of the door before pushing it open, Jason, Robbie and Joe all close behind.

Although they had said they had cleaned up earlier, Sandy could still see traces of their first search. Papers were scatted on the floor and books weren't in their usual places. "The insulin were in that drawer," Joe said quietly, pointing to the second drawer furtherest away from them, though he never took his eyes off of Jason.

Sandy nodded and walked over, hands trembling slightly at the thought of what she could possibly find. As she placed her hand on the handle she heard both Ziggy and Freddie thundering up the stairs, the former swearing lightly under his breath, shocked at what he had been told. Just as they entered the room, she pulled open the drawer, revealing it's contents to everyone present.

_And yeah I know, I'm evil. But the temptation was just too great, and none of you can say you're not frustrated :P  
Feel free to leave me a review and tell me how much you hate me, I'll see you in four/five days as usual. _


	18. Chapter 18

_So I get the impression you guys weren't too fond of last chapter's cliffhanger, but it certainly got a reaction. Unfortunately times aren't going to be improving for the lovely Jason anytime soon, and I've got some more cliffhangers already written up so... yeah. Sorry? _

With trembling hands, Sandy pulled open the drawer, revealing it's contents to everyone present. Said contents consisted of a maths textbook, some scrap paper covered in doodles, a half empty can of long forgotten deodorant and not a lot more. She moved away from the drawer so everyone could clearly see what was there, or rather what wasn't.

Joe, Freddie and Robbie were all silent, staring in shock at the drawer that only a couple of hours ago had been filled with insulin cartridges. "What?" Freddie breathed, unable to believe that it wasn't there. As one, the three sprung to different areas of the room, pushing past Sandy, Ziggy and Jason with little concern, all three on a mission, and that was to find the now missing insulin.

"What are you doing?" Jason cried, as clothes were flung from the wardrobe and books thrown from shelves. "Mum! Ziggy!"

"Boys stop," Sandy shouted, and they all stopped what they were doing to turn to their mum. "There's nothing here."

"But there was," Freddie insisted, looking ready to restart the search immediately. "We promise you it was here, you have to believe us." Sandy looked away, the uncertainty painted all over her face and even Ziggy looked slightly dubious.

"Come on mate, maybe you were mist-"

"We weren't wrong," Robbie replied shortly. "It were all here, Jason's just gone and moved it. You've hidden it so we couldn't show mum haven't you?"

"Now why would I do that?" Jason answered defiantly, not looking away from Robbie's harsh gaze.

"_Jason get down here please." Sandy called and said boy took a deep breath, trying to control himself and look presentable as he left the room, pulling his sleeves down his now red raw arms. Before he descended the stairs however, he made a quick detour to the bathroom, kneeling at the small cabinet placed under the sink. _

_It was rarely used, so Jason knew it would be safe. For the time being anyway. He stuffed the half-full bag into the cupboard, wincing as it rattled when he hit a bottle of body wash. When he was satisfied that no-one had heard, he moved again, hiding the bag full of insulin vials behind soaps and sponges just in case someone did go in the cupboard before he had chance to remove the evidence. _

_Satisfied that it was well hidden, he stood and closed the door quietly, it clicking softly behind him. _

His brothers must have thought he was really dense if they believed that he wouldn't work out their plan. And he wouldn't have, if they hadn't shown him their hand. But they had, they'd told him about the insulin cartridges they'd found and it had only taken a second to see that they hadn't gotten rid of it.

It was a foolish move, but he saw why they'd done it. No-one could ever accuse their family of not being dramatic, because that was their aim when they put the cartridges back in their original place. They had wanted Sandy catching him in the act so to speak, make sure he couldn't get out of it, it was just a shame he had been smarter.

Jason had, admittedly, been stupid to put them there in the first place, but it had given him a sick sort of satisfaction, seeing the sealed cartridges building up week by week and he had believed that he could keep this hidden, though he knew better now. No more putting the unused insulin where it could be found.

The angered glares he got from Joe, Freddie and Robbie also made it kind of worth it. To see that he could cause this sort of reaction in anyone, let alone in three people so close to him... well it was certainly fascinating. All three were slowly becoming more erratic and Ziggy had to physically restrain Robbie from turning the whole room upside down in his frantic search to find the missing medicine. Although the anger was clear to see in Joe and Freddie's eyes, it was tinged with a mix of disappointment too, only rivalled by Sandy's and for the first time Jason began feeling bad for his continued lies.

Shrugging off the guilt, Jason began frantically thinking. He needed to fix this, somewhat anyway. His mum was still siding with the others, believing them over him even though there was no actual evidence to support their words.

He'd have a lot to do to change her mind, and the guilt came back in full force when he realised how much more lying he'd have to do to Sandy and that he'd have to hurt the others in the process. But it was worth it, if it kept them from the truth it had to be. He couldn't have them finding out what a fat fucking failure he was. He'd rather die than have that happen.

"They told you they went through all my stuff before right?" He started, refusing to meet anyone's eyes bar his mum's. It only hurt too much otherwise. "To try and find something to explain my recent behaviour. But they didn't just search it, they'd _trashed_ the place, all because they'd convinced themselves I was a druggie and when they couldn't find any evidence for that they went for the next best thing.

"They're trying to rip this family apart as much as they can, well Freddie is anyway." At this, he let a few of the trapped tears escape, it wasn't hard, they'd been there for a while, on the edge desperate to break away.

Jason finally turned away from Sandy's glance so he could look fully at a confused and slightly nervous Freddie. "Isn't that right Freds? I've done what you've asked, but you're still doing it. Why? What do you want from me hey?"

"What?" Freddie asked, completely flummoxed by his younger brother's questions.

As he shared confused looks with the others, Jason let out a short bark of laughter, drawing their attention back to him. "He's manipulating everyone, can't you see that? Turning you all against me, making you think I'm mental. I mean who was the one to raise everyone's suspicions about me? Let me guess, Freddie right?"

"What are you saying?" Robbie asked, looking between his two brothers warily, unsure of who to believe. His big brother who promised to look out for him no matter what or his twin brother, the person who he was closest to in the whole world.

"For the past few weeks, Freddie's been blackmailing me. It's probably why I've seemed a bit on edge." Ignoring the shocked gasps and the questions being fired at him, demanding to be told what was happening, Jason turned to a disbelieving Freddie, who still hadn't uttered a single word.

Unable to wrap his head around the fact that his own brother, sweet baby brother Jason at that, had completely turned on him because he had shown a little bit of compassion, Freddie found he couldn't utter a single word.

"I've done what you wanted Freds. I haven't told anyone what you've been doing and what I've seen. Just please, leave me alone, I'm begging you."

"Jason what are talking about?" Sandy asked, panic rising in her voice once more. "Freddie?"

"I don't know what he's talking about, I swear." Freddie replied, his heart beating so loud and fast he wouldn't be surprised if the others would be able to hear it. He knew he was right, he hadn't done anything to Jason, but he had no idea at what the troubled teen was going to imply and that scared him.

"You said you'd kill me if I told anyone what I heard!" Jason half shouted, half sobbed, breathing heavily once he'd let it out and giving the impression that he'd been battling with this for a long while. Freddie would give his brother this, he was a brilliant actor when he wanted to be.

"What?" Freddie exclaimed, too shocked at what he was hearing to form a more suitable response. "No, I never."

"Please tell me you're not serious?" Sandy pleaded, and Freddie had to stop his jaw hitting the ground at her tone. Like she was doubting Freddie.

"You're believing him? Seriously?" Freddie cried, unable to believe what was happening right in front of him. "Why would I ever hurt my family, least of all Jase."

"Look at him, does he really look like he's lying?" Sandy asked, though her voice wobbled, like she didn't know what to even think anymore. It was true though, Jason was practically in hysterics, fat ugly tears running down his face as he tried to hold back the sobs.

"I swear on my life that I haven't done anything mum, least of all threaten Jason." Freddie promised, turning away from his younger brother, to focus all attention on her. Sandy didn't say anything for a moment, obviously conflicted between her two sons and what she had learnt in the past hour.

Which was a hell of a lot, it was enough to make anyone's head spin. The fact that it didn't seem to be stopping any-time soon didn't fill Sandy with hope either.

She loved all her children equally, which made her decision so much more difficult. The only thing that was convincing her, was the fact that Jason's s case was more persuasive. He had never lied to her and he was visibly upset by the all the accusations that had been flying around and what Freddie had apparently threatened him with.

If Freddie had been pressuring him, like Jason said he had been, it would also explain his change in behaviour over the last few months. Sandy knew from past patients that if someone was being threatened then their moods would become incredibly volatile as they tried to keep control in their life, just as Jason had been doing.

Before she could speak up with an opinion (one that she didn't truly believe in), Robbie cut in, his voice the smallest Sandy had ever heard it as he battled with a decision that obviously didn't come easily to him. "I believe Freddie. He never planted any ideas in my head and I actually went to him. The insulin was there too, I don't know where Jase has put it, but it was there."

"Rob's right mum, we all saw it." Joe said, supporting his brothers through thick and thin, though there was no rejoicing of their brotherly bond as Jason only looked more downtrodden with every word. He looked over to Ziggy hopefully, trying to show that he needed him to be on his side, but the mechanic simply shrugged, looking apologetic.

"Sorry mate, but I weren't there. Honestly, I still don't really know what's going on." Through his tears Jason let out a small smile, though it was twisted and unnerving more than anything else.

"Good to know I know my place," he said bitterly, shrugging off his mum's hand as she tried to stop him from leaving. Though his pause gave enough time for Freddie and Joe to block the door and he glared at them when he realised what they'd done.

No-one spoke for a while as the family tried to wrap their head around what had happened. Sandy wiped the few tears that had trickled down her face, willing herself to not start properly crying, that was all they needed on top of the evening. She was so conflicted and whilst she had previously been believing what Jason had said because of all the evidence he seemingly had, it was now Jason at the apparent disadvantage.

Joe, Freddie and Robbie were all sticking together and everything they had said had linked together, Sandy was already seeing holes in Jason's story. It hurt, having to choose to believe one of her sons over the other but it was a necessary evil.  
Having made her mind up, she turned to fully to Jason, looking apologetic as he realised what choice she had made. "What I'm failing to understand Jason,"She finally said, her voice slow as if it literally pained her to speak. "Is why would there be weeks worth of insulin here?"

"Oh my God, I don't know because it was never here." Jason shouted, waving his hands wildly in the air. "Figures you'd believe them though. This lot can get away with murder, hell they probably have done! They've all caused so much shit over the years but no, you let them get on with it. You always forgive them, no matter what.

"Robbie robbed a shop at gunpoint. Joe committed insurance fraud back home and don't even get me started on Freddie. He has ruined so _many _lives, and now he's ruining mine. Every single time you forgive them, if that were me or Ziggy? No it'd be completely different."

"Don't you dare say that," Sandy replied, her voice hard. "I love you all equally and I would do everything I could for all five of you."

"Save it. You've made it crystal clear over the years that you have favourites." Jason said softly, the calm of his tone leaving the others shocked and he push past both Joe and Freddie with ease. No-one said anything as he ran down the stairs, the slamming of the front door as he left, ringing throughout the house.

_So both Becs and Maria correctly guessed that Jason would hide his insulin before the others got to it (well done!), which of course has created even more of a backlash (and drama, gotta love some drama). _

_I loved writing this chapter because there is so much going on, even though it's only one scene and a tiny portion of what's been and what's to come! It's the first time that the family have come together as one about this matter and I hoped I showed both Sandy and Ziggy's uncertainty about the whole situation well, having not seen the insulin for themselves and having to choose one side of the family over the other (never an easy choice). _

_Of course the fact that they ultimately sided with the others in this chapter hasn't left Jason happy, though he's only made it worse for himself for lying. _

_I guess that's the part I'm most... nervous about in this chapter, simply because it's so out of character for Jason in the show, but when writing this (and hopefully when you're reading this) it didn't feel as such because we're slowly seeing him become more and more erratic as the lies build up and it was really do or die for him in that moment. _

_Of course those lies unravelled pretty quickly due to Robbie and it's only gotten worse, with Jason now doing his best to alienate all of those around him, to keep himself safe and ignorant to the truth. _

_Finally I just want to thank everyone for their reviews, like seriously, they honestly make my day! It's so lovely to hear that you are enjoying the story and the reviews are simply the sweetest. I'm glad that you're enjoying the pacing of the story and that you think the reactions from the brothers are all in character (that means so much, because we've haven't seen any of them in situations like this, but I put a lot of work into trying keep them as true to their characters as I could). _

_Again it's lovely to hear that you think it's a realistic fanfiction, because this was probably one of the top reasons why I wanted to write Downwards up so much (apart from the fact that this idea was just growing and growing and refused to leave till I wrote the plan down), because I have read fics similar to this, and so many of them are fantastically written, but I rarely enjoy the speed of the story, because the person seems to be found out, accept they have a problem, recover, the ed never gets mentioned again and that doesn't happen in real life. _

_Obviously, there are going to be things placed in this story which are there for dramatic effect, but I don't want that ever to take away from the main theme of this story and I'm glad that no-one seems to think that. _

_Apologies for the long authors note, I just wanted to ramble and thank people that I couldn't via PMing, as always leave me a review, they honestly make my day :)  
See you all in four/five days _


	19. Chapter 19

Storming out of the house, Jason completely missed Lindsey in his desperate bid to get away.

"Jason!" She called after him, though he didn't slow or give any indication that he had heard her.

Shaking her head and hoping that her future brother in law was just in another one of his moods, Lindsey made her way into the house, spooked by the silence that surrounded the place and had invaded every room.

Now normally she would have just thought she was the only one in, but both cars were parked in the driveway, indicating otherwise and even Ziggy didn't have the stamina to go out clubbing on a Tuesday night. A quick search told her that downstairs was completely deserted and the young doctor made her way up the stairs slowly, feeling somewhat like she was in a horror movie, about to meet her gruesome and pain-filled doom.

"Hello?" she called, hoping that someone would answer her and ease her irrational worries.

"Linds?" Joe answered, stepping out from Robbie and Jason's room looking exhausted. He moved over and hugged her tightly, though Lindsey noted the long stream of people making their way out of the twins bedroom.

"What are you all doing in there?" she asked, her curiosity building. The others all broke eye contact, looking at the ground a mix of sheepishness and guilt coming from them all.

"Come on babe," Joe said softly, guiding her to their bedroom. "This will probably be best in private."

Once the young couple had disappeared, the remaining Roscoes all deflated, unsure of what to do now. The earlier arguments, accusations and the strain of finding out what was going on with Jason had left them all exhausted and they all wanted to go to bed and sleep for the foreseeable future, though they knew that this would be impossible.

"I'm making a brew, anyone want one?" Sandy finally said, descending down the stairs. The three brothers nodded, knowing it would be best to keep themselves doing something, no matter how difficult it seemed.

As Sandy busied herself in the kitchen, clattering mugs together whilst the kettle boiled, Robbie pulled his phone from his pocket and began frantically typing. "What you doing now?" Freddie inquired, too drained to face his brother properly.

"Texting some mates." he answered, not looking up from his phone.

"Is now really the best time to be socialising?" Ziggy asked incredulously. "After all that's happened tonight, and God knows where Jase's gone."

"And that's why I'm texting," Robbie snapped, his patience long gone with that day's events. "I'm asking if anyone's seen him and if they do to text me. If he's going to do something stupid, tonight would be the night he does it."

Freddie and Ziggy nodded, seeing sense in his words and the latter shot Robbie an apologetic look for joking like he had. Robbie was the most worried out of them all (though he may not be showing it) and it was clear he was suffering at seeing his twin so troubled.

"Thanks love," Sandy said softly, as she passed them their tea. She sat on the sofa with Robbie, pulling him into a tight hug and for once, the younger boy didn't complain, knowing his mother needed the comfort just as much as he did.

}}}}}}}}}}

"And Jason's really been doing this?" Lindsey asked, collapsing on the bed. She couldn't wrap her head around it, it sounded too out there to be true but... it made sense. Jason's recent mood swings, the fact that he always had a glass of water in his hand (more often empty than not), his constant tiredness and his collapse just a few days ago all added up to insulin deprivation.

She cursed herself for not seeing it sooner, she was a doctor for God's sake, she was meant to notice these sort of things, and she didn't even see it when it was happening right under her nose.

"Hey," Joe soothed, placing his fingers under her chin and tipping her head so she was looking squarely at him. "Don't beat yourself up about this, I can see that you're doing it already. You can't blame yourself for this, you couldn't have done anything about it."

"But I'm a doctor Joe, I'm trained to notice things and fix them. But I couldn't even help out my own family."  
"Don't talk that babes. Don't you think I don't hate myself for not noticing too. I'm his big brother . I meant to protect him, and all the others. But the amount of times they've been hurt or in trouble, sometimes I think they'd be better without me,"

"Don't say that," Lindsey said shocked, moving away so Joe could see her clearer. "You are amazing Joe, you have been my rock for so long and I wouldn't know what to do without you here, by my side. The others feel that way too, they lean on you and they need you."

"So why didn't Jason say anything to me? Why didn't he trust me enough to say something?"

"It seems that Jason's been struggling with more demons than we could have ever of thought," Lindsey finally said, realising that what rung true for Joe, was also the same for her. Sure, she could be mad at herself not picking up on his troubles earlier but it wouldn't do any good to anyone. Instead she could battle through and do everything in her power to help Jason, to figure out why he was doing what he was and get him to stop.

Joe was apparently on the same wavelength because he gave a small smile to his fiancée before speaking up once more. "It's my bet that Jason didn't want any of us noticing, because otherwise we all would have done a long time ago. All we can do now is try and fix this. Help him out as best as we can-"

"But we can't do that till we know why Jason did this. He knows all the risks, but what was worth all of that, because there had to be something." Lindsey argued, hating herself for bringing the negative points up to the surface, but they needed to be acknowledged if they were going to get anywhere.

"Well we better get thinking." Joe said, quirking an eyebrow, though already deep in thought.

}}}}}}}}}}

Jason ran. He had no specific destination in mind but he knew he needed to get out of the house. Away from his family. God, why did they all have to interfere in things that didn't concern them? He was fine without them, he was getting places, but now it would all be ruined. And all because he hadn't been smart enough to get rid of his insulin cartridges.

_Stupid fucker. Why did you do that? You wanted to be found out didn't you? You wanted the attention from them all, wanted them to talk about you. You didn't want to lose weight, not really, you don't want to be perfect. You just want people to look at you, to be worried about you even though there's no need. Attention seeking freak!_

The same thoughts circulated through Jason's head as he picked up his pace, hoping that his heavy footsteps would drown out the noise in his head, but it never did.

He was in even more trouble than he had been before. He couldn't believe he had said that Freddie had been blackmailing him. Of course they weren't going to believe him, God he was so stupid! He'd thought that by saying that, he could get some of the suspicion off of him, but he hadn't even thought about Robbie's own suspicions, which completely undermined his own story.

It wasn't just Freddie that had been concerned, it was Robbie, Joe and now all of the others. Why did he have to open his mouth? He could have left it alone, thought up another lie, but no. And this one was the worst of the lot, they probably all hated him, more than they had already done anyway. They'd never leave him alone, they'd always be there, bothering him, making him feel like a bigger freak than he already knew he was.

Eventually Jason found himself in the village centre, panting loudly as he looked wildly round, not that he knew what for. Once upon a time he could easily run from his house to the shops, but he was still weak from his collapse and the lack of insulin in his system, so he had to pause to get his breath back.

Just as he was about to leave the centre, he heard the deli door open and Doug calling him over. "Jason?" he asked, unsure whether that was his employee or not. "Jase, is that you?" Realising that he wouldn't be able to leave without saying hi and somewhat glad to be around his laidback boss, Jason turned round, smile firmly on his face.

"All right Doug? Okay if I come in?"

"Of course, closing's not for another half hour." Doug held the door open for him, as Jason jogged across the street and into the warm confines of the deli shop.

"Sorry for leaving you high and dry this week," he apologised, wondering if he even had a job left to apologise for.

"You've been in hospital, there's nothing to be sorry for." Doug replied, surprised at what he was hearing. "Are you okay?" Before he could answer, the bell jingled as Phoebe and Dylan walked in. Doug sprung up, making his way to the counter to serve his customers. As Jason's two classmates waited for their paninis to be made, they turned to him, sharing a concerned glance.

"Your brothers were looking for you," Dylan told him, once Jason realised that they weren't going to stop staring at him until he'd acknowledged them.

"Uh yeah, I've seen 'em," he informed them, thanking the pair for telling him.

"Anything important?" Phoebe asked, ignoring the jab in the ribs from Dylan as she ploughed on. "Robbie looked dead worried earlier."

"I don't think that's any of your concern," Jason snapped, getting a sick sort of satisfaction as Phoebe bristled.

"Well sorry for being concerned. Last time I care."

"Oh please, don't," Jason drawled, unable to even pretend that he was bothered. Any other day and he would have been fine, but after the night he had just gone through, he really didn't have the patience for anyone's bullshit, least of all two people who pretended to be his friends but simply didn't care outside of school. "I don't think I'll be able to cope."

"What the hell's got into you?" Phoebe snapped, walking past Dylan with little concern so she was towering over her frail classmate. "You know, I don't even know why they were bothered, you clearly don't care about anyone but yourself."

The honorary McQueen seemed to have realised what she had just said and an instant look of regret filled her eyes. But Jason was too angry to care, pure rage flooded him and he launched up, coming toe to toe with Phoebe. "At least I still have a family."

"So do I."

"Oh please," Jason snorted, a small voice in the back of his head telling him to shut up and leave, but it was squashed down quickly enough. "The McQueens don't care about you, not really. They're just doing what they can to ease their conscience, but if you're own mother couldn't put up with you, what makes you think they can?"

It was a low blow, bringing Phoebe's adoption and former runaway status into it, but Jason couldn't resist. It was all too much for Phoebe though and she snarled and ran at Jason, beating on his chest until both Dylan and Doug had pulled her away.

"I think you should all leave," Doug told the three teens sternly once Phoebe had been calmed down, not an easy feat by any means. "I'm not going to have fighting in my deli."

"Fine. Let's go Dylan." Phoebe snapped, storming out of the deli, sandwiches long forgotten. Knowing that his boss was right and not eager to start another fight, Jason grabbed his coat from the side and left the deli, hoping he wouldn't run into Phoebe and Dylan once more, though neither were in sight when he stepped into the square and he hoped that they were long gone.

With the deli now out, there was no obvious place that Jason could go that wasn't home. But he was adamant he wouldn't return there, not now anyway, so he began walking with no actual destination in place.

He hadn't got far – only down to the end of the alley – when he crashed into a passerby running down the street trying to get out of the cold. "Sorry," he muttered as she hit the alley wall with a thud.

"Twice in once day," Holly commented, sounding more amused than annoyed. "One would think you're making a habit of this."

"What? No, no not at all, I er just-"

"Chill, I was joking." she reassured him, clearly entertained by his rambling. "Actually I'm glad I ran into you,"

"Oh?" Hope flared through Jason and he couldn't stop the blush that coloured his usually pale cheeks.

"Yeah, Robbie just text, Said if anyone saw you to text him." The hope that he had just been feeling died just as quickly as it had appeared. Figures.

"Don't text him," he demanded, not caring about how unreasonable and childish he was sounding.

"But he sounds really worried," Holly said, her phone out and the message already partly constructed.

"I told you not to text him. It doesn't concern you, so why are you getting involved?"

"I'm trying to be a good friend," the younger girl replied stubbornly. "Sorry for caring."

"Yeah, well don't," Jason said, the fight leaving him as he turned to exit the alleyway. He wasn't in the mood to alienate anyone else, least of all the girl he'd had a pathetic crush on for the last five months.

"Why are you acting like this?" Holly called after him, making him stop where he stood. "You were nothing like this when we first met."

"And what was that?" he asked whirling around, eyes flashing.

"Kind, funny, patient." Holly listed off a handful of things, though they did nothing to make him feel better.

"How about pathetic? A loser?" Jason came back with his own list, relishing the shocked look on Holly's face.

"Not at all. Don't tell me you really believe that?"

"I don't see how it matters. You still wouldn't touch me with a barge pole, so I don't see how it concerns you."

That's not true. I think you're a lovely guy Jase," she whispered, walking over to him, pleased when he didn't turn to leave once more.

"Lovely doesn't exactly get you places,"

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," she answered coyly, taking his hands in hers. Time seemed to slow down and Jason could hardly believe it when she leaned forward, eyes closed. He stiffened, though immediately relaxed as her lips met his.

They were completely still, though Holly soon wiped her tongue, asking for access that Jason readily agreed to. As they kissed in a dank dark alleyway, in the freezing cold, Jason swore he saw fireworks.

_I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter, it was a bit less dialogue oriented than the previous one, so was probably a bit easier to keep track of. _

_I know a few people were confused about why Jason only blamed Freddie and not Joe and Robbie in the last chapter, so I hope this one cleared it up a bit. Just to clarify though, at the time of the lie, Jason only thought that Freddie had been suspicious of him and had dragged Robbie and Joe in on it, not that they had, had their own suspicions (ala Robbie). _

_By blaming Freddie only, he was hoping to turn the other two, as well as Sandy and Ziggy against him, so they wouldn't believe what Freddie was telling them. Of course Jason didn't have any explanation for the insulin cartridges (an indication to how desperate he was, that he didn't even think through what he said, just went for the most dramatic and devastating thing), so the lie fell to pieces pretty quickly. _

_I've got to admit that the Holly and Jason relationship really came out of nowhere in this last chapter, though I have been playing around with the idea for a while. I wanted Jason to have someone he could trust, but also show that even though Holly will care for him deeply, his eating disorder and depression won't go away. _

_When I wrote this up, I was thinking about whether I should keep the last scene in or not, but a guest review unknowingly convinced me to keep it in (seriously, your timing was perfect!). What I've been also trying to show in the last few chapters is that Jason does have friends, but that he's slowly alienating them as he becomes more and more absorbed by his eating disorder (just like Phoebe and Dylan). _

_But this was also keeping him quite solitary and there will be people, who aren't his family that naturally worry about him. So over the next few chapters both Holly and Ruby (I'm not sure why, but I think these two could have a fantastic friendship on the show), will be playing bigger parts as their concern for Jason grows. _

_Finally, I just want to thank everyone for their continued support in this story, it honestly means the world to me! See you all in a few days. _


	20. Chapter 20

_So Jason and Holly got quite a reaction from you guys last chapter. Some people loved, some people didn't mind it and others weren't so keen. Thank you all for giving me feedback on that. Their relationship will not be plain sailing at all and whilst I personally would like to see Jason and Holly become a couple on the show in the future (not now anyway), these two together will not necessarily be a good thing. _

_I think this chapter is one of the biggest, because it's a complete game-changer (in my mind anyway, I'll let you all decide on that) and I'm really excited for you all to read it. _

"So Jason's been doing this since he broke his hand right?" Lindsey asked Joe, trying to create a clear picture in her head.

"That's what we reckon. The oldest insulin in his drawer dated back to that anyway. Why do you ask?"

"Sometimes, mental illnesses," she shot Joe an apologetic look as the words left her mouth, but it was the only she could explain what she was thinking. "Are triggered by something. They're always there, but one little things sparks them off. Maybe, breaking his hand was Jason's initial trigger."

"But breaking his hand? Seems a bit excessive?"

"Well it was certainly a stressful time for Jason. He'd just completed his first year of a-levels and then was uprooted from his home, had to leave all his friends behind and basically had to start again, at the most difficult time of his life. We all know how nervous he was when he was starting school. Breaking his hand, could of, made it all hit home?"

Joe nodded, mulling over her words. "And he couldn't let it all out through boxing, that really helped him when he was stressed."

Lindsey shot up, making links in her head and connecting the dots. "He couldn't exercise of course, couldn't burn the... and he has lost... So he couldn't – Joe was Jason ever... chubby?"

"He had some puppy fat when he was around eleven, but it all went when he started growing and did a bit more exercise, like with most kids. Why?"

"I think I might know what's been up with him."

}}}}}}}}}}}

Holly and Jason pulled apart, looking every bit like a love-struck couple. "Wow." Holly laughed breathlessly at Jason's analysis of the what had just happened.

"Yeah, wow." They didn't talk for a moment, just basking in each other and what had happened between them.

The moment ended when Jason came crashing down to reality, unable to believe what he had just done. He went to pull away, cheeks flushing furiously "I'm so sorry," he began apologising. "I didn't mean-"

"Wait what?" Holly asked, too stunned to form proper sentences. This wasn't the reaction she had been expecting, especially from the guy who had made no secret that he was interested in her for the last few months. Was she too late? Had she spent too long being cold and distant and had therefore ultimately lost her chance, the moment she realised what a good thing she could have.

"I know you're not interested, I shouldn't of pushed and-"

"Woah, stop right there," Holly said sternly, pulling Jason back close, so there was no way he would or could misunderstand. "I initiated that kiss okay. Not you, but me. I kissed you because I wanted and actually I would very much like to do so again. If that is okay with you?"  
Jason dumbly nodded, unable to believe his luck. After the day from hell, he'd been fully expecting Holly to slap him hard and tell him never to come near her again, but this? Well he'd never thought in a million years that this could happen.

"What does this mean? For us that is," he finally said, feeling nervous as he waited for Holly to answer.

"Well normally when two people are interested in each other the way we are, they normally start this little thing called dating," Holly answered, her eyes sparkling playfully.

"Yeah?"

"Uhuh," she laughed, leaning into kiss Jason once more.

Before she could, Jason stopped her, his face mere centimetres away from hers. "So will you do the honour of being my girlfriend?"

Instead of answering the playful question, Holly closed the gap between them, the pair passionately kissing before she pulled back. "Does that answer your question?"

"You mind repeating it, I might have misheard," Jason teased, smiling as Holly giggled and lightly hit him on the arm. They stay huddled in the freezing alleyway for a few more moments, simply enjoying one another's presence, before Holly went to reluctantly leave, the cold becoming too much for her.

Jason sighed, knowing what he was going to say was going to effectively ruin the mood. "Can I stay at yours tonight? No funny business or nothing, it's just I can't go back home. Not tonight." He went onto say when he felt the blonde stiffen.

"They seem really worried though. Are you sure?"

"Just leave it yeah," Jason snapped, unable to control his temper. The guilt was instant, flooding through him as Holly visibly recoiled. "I'm sorry Hol. I haven't had the best of nights." She smiled, looking up at him through her eyelashes. Not saying a word, she took hold of his hand and led him out of the alleyway, towards the flat.

"Cindy's not in so don't worry," she told him as she shrugged her shoes off. "Want to watch a movie, you've always loved horror right?"

"Yeah okay," Jason smiled, touched that she had remembered their conversation from so long ago.

"Well, I'll get the popcorn and I'll even let you choose," she said, directing him to the surprisingly large DVD collection, before she went to the kitchen. Jason picked a film out fairly quickly and placed the disc into the DVD player, half watching the adverts as he waited for Holly to return.

"We only had sugar," she told him as she came back, bowl in hand. "Is that okay with your diabetes?"

"It's fine. Is The Grudge ok?" Jason said, shrugging off the popcorn question with ease. Even now, when he was moments away from spending the night with someone he had adored since he had moved up to Hollyoaks Village, there was always part of his mind purely focused on losing weight.

It made him feel sick even thinking about it, but it was simply second nature now. Any extra sugar in his system, without any insulin to combat it sped up the weight-loss process, even if it was incredibly dangerous.

"Ah, a personal favourite," Holly said, pressing play as she next to Jason, resting her head on his shoulders. They had only been watching it for ten minutes, though Jason had spent more of his time watching the girl next to him, fondly smiling as she jumped at every turn.

"I thought this was a favourite?" he asked when she almost threw the popcorn in the air for the third time.

"That doesn't mean it's still not scary," she pouted, letting Jason take the bowl from her to place it on the coffee table, though she refused to let his other hand out of her grasp. When he sat back, the couple simply stared at each other, the movie completely forgotten. Once more they leaned into a kiss and it was just as fantastic (if not more) than it had been in the alleyway.

"I'm not going to break," she growled at Jason as he remained careful, not daring to do even half of what he wanted, moving so she was sat on him, both of her legs on either side.

It was enough of an incentive for him (he was still a teenage boy, he had needs!) and they began fighting for dominance, neither willing to let the other win. They only broke free to catch their breath, panting loudly, though as they were doing so, Holly began unbuttoning her blouse, revealing her lacy bra.

Before she shook her top off, she moved to do the same to Jason, though he instantly froze, the mood ruined for him as he realised what would come next. She'd _see _him. She'd see the bountiful collection of cuts on both of his forearms (he'd had to move to the right just the other day when he realised his left was out of room).

She'd see all the fat, suffocating his bones and taking over him. He couldn't let that happen. She'd only just let him in (and how he'd managed that he had no clue), he was not going to ruin it by revealing what a fat fucker he really was and scaring her rightfully off.

"Not tonight," he soothed when he saw the hurt look on her face.

"You're quite the gentleman," she said instead, masking the pain with an air of amusement, pulling her top around her.

"Don't you know it," he quipped, gaining a real laugh from her as the pair turned back to the film.

}}}}}}}}}}

"I think I know what's up with Jason," Lindsey started. She had gathered all the others into the living room, knowing she'd only have the strength to be able to say this once. "Or, I think I do."

"What is it?" Robbie asked, eager to hear any theories that might explain what was up with his twin, no matter what they were.

"When I was training to be a doctor, I did a little bit into mental health, not a lot, but enough to notice the signs."

"Are you saying that Jase is mental?"

"Robbie," Sandy snapped, squeezing her son's hand when a pained look crossed over his face. She knew he was worried (they all were), and to hear something like that wasn't pleasant for anyone, though Sandy knew it would be best for Lindsey to finish before saying anything. "Just, let Lindsey talk okay."

Lindsey shot a weak smile at her future mother in law, before continuing with her theory "One of my placements took place in an eating disorder ward."

"But Jason can't have an eating disorder," Freddie said sharply, ignoring Sandy's prior warning. "We see him eating all the time, that can't be it."  
"There are many types of ED's though. What you're thinking of, is anorexia, but for many of them, the person actually still eats, it's just their relationship with food is _warped _elsewhere."

"So he's making himself sick then?" Joe blanched, asking questions more on autopilot than anything else.

"I don't think so." Lindsey admitted, trying to think of what to say as well as she could. "When I was on my placement there was a girl who was admitted and she was a diabetic like Jason. To lose weight, she still ate, but she restricted her insulin, sometimes going days without a dosage."

"But that's suicidal," Sandy gasped, shocked that someone would go those lengths and scared that her baby may be doing the same thing.

"It would make sense though. He must have lost at least two or three stone recently and with all that insulin you guys found, it certainly seems like he's been seriously restricting. From what I've gathered, he used to have that usual layer of puppy fat you get when he was a kid, though I bet it appeared when he started taking his insulin for the first time.

"He gained the weight because he had more insulin in his system than his body was used to and he wasn't burning this extra energy via enough exercise. When he started boxing however, he was doing enough to burn off the energy and became a healthy weight once more. I think when he broke his hand, it was all triggered and the memories of what happened last time came flooding back. Maybe, Jason stopped taking his insulin, so he wouldn't gain weight again."

"Nah," Ziggy said adamantly, shaking his head, unable to believe what he was hearing. "Jason wouldn't do that, he ain't stupid. And he certainly wouldn't do it after he fell into a coma inside Browning's car. Anyone remember that?"

"Yeah, if he stopped taking his insulin when he broke his hand, he'd have fallen into a coma ages ago," Freddie argued. Sure he wanted to know what was wrong with his brother, but sometimes the truth was really too hard to handle.

"Not if he was just restricting," Sandy realised, speaking up for the first time, seeing that there was logic in what Lindsey was saying, wishing desperately that it wouldn't be true. "By reducing to half the amount of insulin he needs lets say, there's not enough in his system to keep the weight on and he's still putting himself at risk of going blind or having a stroke, but he is preventing himself from landing in hospital."

"Well, until a few days ago anyway." Freddie reminded them grimly.

"So he does have an eating disorder then?" Robbie asked Lindsey, remembering that he had suspected the very thing only that morning, but had shaken the thought off.

"He'd have to have a proper psycho analysis, but I'd say so, it makes sense anyway. I'd even go so far as diagnosing it right now. It's unofficially called diabulimia, but as of yet it's not a properly acknowledged eating disorder in medicine, so doctors would say he has an EDNOS. An eating disorder not otherwise specified."

The room was silent as every member of the family tried to wrap their head around the fact, that one of their own was putting himself at serious risk to lose weight, and had been so consumed by it, it was now taking over his life.

"What do we do now?" Robbie asked, his voice gruff as he tried to keep a lid on his emotions.

"We help him." Sandy said sternly, looking to everyone. "He is suffering at the moment, and we have to do everything we can to help him get better."

"That's all well and good, but we can't do anything until we find Jase," Freddie said dryly, though he looked like he didn't want to do anything more than get up and start searching the streets.

"He's fine," Robbie said, looking down at his phone, before showing the others the text he had just recieved.

_J's with me, don't worry he's fine, doesn't want to go home though._

_I'll get him over tomorrow. _

_Holly x _

Despite the dire situation, Ziggy couldn't help but let out a low wolf-whistle, muttering "Go Jase," under his breath, yelping as a flurry of cushions were flung at him.

… _Like I said, a game-changer. So the others now know, or this is their latest suspicion (although as we know, it's the right one). I hope I didn't make Lindsey working it out too abrupt or sudden, but I've always had it in my mind that she would be the one to fully connect the dots and I think that if I left it a bit later on, the story would start dragging and become repetitive._

_There's still a lot more to come obviously and I hope you guys all enjoyed this chapter. Please leave a review and tell me what you thought. _


	21. Chapter 21

"Jase... Jason, wake up," Holly said softly, nudging the older boy until he cracked open an eye, stretching on the small sofa he had fallen asleep on the previous night.

"What time is it?"

"Just after ten," Holly replied, trying not to smile at Jason's incoherent mumble. "Cindy's going to be back in a bit and I'm not being funny but she probably won't be too happy when she realises that you've stayed over."

"Are you kicking me out?" Jason asked, shooting her a mock look of upset.

"Of course I'm not, but don't you think you should be heading back home anyway? Robbie sounded really worried and I'd hate to keep you from your family."

Dropping his head back on the sofa Jason groaned. "Urggh I suppose."

"It can't be that bad," Holly said, trying to comfort him as much as she could.

"You have no idea," Jason muttered, rolling off the sofa and grabbing his trainers from the side, smoothing his hair down and trying to look mildly presentable before he entered the village.

"Shouldn't you take your insulin now?" Holly asked, she didn't know or understand the finer details about diabetes, but she knew enough to understand that insulin was necessary and needed to be taken.

"Forgot it with me. A few hours won't kill me anyway so I'll just take it when I get back home. No biggie," Jason said casually, hoping his annoyance didn't come across in his tone. He'd had enough talk about his insulin habits to last him a lifetime, he really didn't need another person nagging, though he knew his girlfriend (and boy would that take some getting used to) was only asking.

Yet the subject was particularly sore after the hellish night he'd gone through and he really didn't want to get bogged down by it once more. When he felt he looked okay to be seen by the general public, Jason turned to the younger girl, holding out his hand. "Walk me down?"

Laughing lightly Holly stood, taking Jason's hand in hers. "Alright you big baby." The young couple left the small flat and began wandering back to the Roscoe's house chatting lightly, though Holly could see that Jason was getting more and more nervous the closer they got to his place.

His grip on her hand slightly tightened as they entered the street and all conversation ended once the large house was in sight.

"Hey, it'll be fine," she soothed once they were at the front door, although she wasn't sure what she was exactly soothing and Jason still looked slightly ill. "You'll be fine Jase. And feel free to come over to mine whenever, though if Cindy's there then you obviously can't spend the night again."

"Yeah, that sounds good. Cheers Hol." Jason said, kissing the blonde goodbye, however they were interrupted after mere seconds by the front door swinging open.

"Well if you aren't a sight for sore eyes," Ziggy commented, and despite the fact that his words were light and joking his tone was anything but, showing Holly just how worried the Roscoe clan must have been about Jason.

She had seen very little of Ziggy since the family's arrival in the village, though he seemed to be a huge flirt and a jokester, so for him to be visibly unnerved scared the blonde. What had Jason done to get his whole family to react so out of character?

"Though congrats J, spending the whole night at the lovely Miss Holly's, you'll have to tell me all about your shenanigans later."

"Leave it yeah?" Jason snapped at Ziggy, shooting the blonde an apologetic look who smiled in return, though Holly had no idea how sincere it was.

"Well I'd love to invite you in Hols," Ziggy continued, completely ignoring his brother. "But we need to talk to Jason about some _personal _matters I'm afraid. I'm sure you understand."

"Uh yeah of course," Holly replied, not sure what to make of the situation. Jason was obviously not a willing participant of this _personal _chat if the thunderous look on his face was anything to go by, but before he could have his say on the matter Ziggy had dragged him into the house, kicking the door lightly behind him.  
"See ya Holly," he called, his voice muffled through the door, though before Holly could reply both brothers had stepped into the main hallway, effectively cutting her off. What exactly was wrong with her boyfriend?

It had to be serious if the whole family was worried and Jason had been acting weird for a while, though she didn't know the family or even him that well enough to ask.

She knew she couldn't demand to know what was going on, after all it wasn't her place (even if the curiosity was killing her), but she could let Jason and the others know that she was there if anyone wanted to talk.

Like she had said last night, Jason was a lovely guy and she felt like a fool for taking so long to realise it. She had spent so long being distant and a general bitch to him, not even taking the time to get to know him, but with every new thing she learnt about him, her feelings just grew and grew for the older boy.

Of course it didn't hurt that he was good looking either, although he was looking a little thin recently... but it was probably nothing. Everyone their age lost and gained weight like it was going out of fashion (half the time it wasn't even voluntarily), Jason probably hadn't even noticed.

She shrugged, desperately trying to think of what could be up with her boyfriend, walking down the driveway and shooting concerned looks at the house every few yards until it was long out of sight. That didn't decrease the feeling of worry that had settled in the pit of her stomach. Not in the slightest.

}}}}}}}

"Do you have to embarrass me all the time?" Jason snapped once the second porch door had been shut and there was no chance of Holly being able to hear them. "You know how much I like her and that little display of yours has probably ruined any chance of her being properly interested in me."

"Well you were looking pretty cosy a bit earlier so you're probably safe. And I think we have some important things to talk about don't you? More important than your relationship woes anyway."

"Not this again," Jason scoffed, trying to calm his thundering heart. The morning was going to be a long one and he didn't even have the excuse of school to get out of the house as it was a week-end. "Don't you have a garage to open up anyway, seeing as it brings in a pretty important amount of money in."

"We're not opening till this afternoon," Freddie said as he sauntered down the stairs. "Thought trying to talk to you was a bit more necessary."

"Yeah well I don't," Jason snapped, though before he could leave to go to his room and away from the others, he was physically pushed into the living room where everyone else was sat, their uncomfortable expressions making it obvious they'd heard the whole exchange. "What the hell? Are you holding some sort of intervention now? Getting a bit dramatic here."

"We know you're not taking your insulin," Sandy said, holding back the tears that had been threatening to spill since the night before. She'd decided to go straight for it, beating around the bush would just cause unnecessary drama and it was already looking to be another explosive day. "And we know why you're doing it."

"Oh please enlighten me. I'd love to hear what wild story you've cooked up now, I need the laugh."

"We know you have an eating disorder and that you're doing this to lose weight." Robbie snapped, hating his twin for putting their mum, their whole family through so much.

No-one else said anything, though they all winced at the blunt way Robbie had revealed Lindsey's theory. True, they hadn't wanted to spend the day hinting and circling around the elephant in the room, but there really were better ways to reveal things.

"What?" Jason spluttered, painting an incredulous look on his face, however inside he was panicking. He didn't have _that_, he just didn't, but the fact that they had guessed why he was doing this had completely thrown him. He didn't think they'd reach the correct conclusion so quickly and he knew it would take a lot to convince them they were wrong. "And who the hell thought that stupid idea up."

"Lindsey," Joe said defensively, squeezing his fiancée's hand. "And I think she has enough experience in these sort of things to make a basic diagnosis."

"Really?" Jason scoffed, hating himself more and more with each passing second. Not only had he completely alienated Freddie last night, but now he'd have to do the same with Lindsey. "No offence but I'm not seeing a lot of experience. She's a junior doctor for crying out loud, she'll be making diagnosis' at every turn to show people she _knows_ what she's talking about. I'm guessing at least nine out of ten of those are complete and utter bull."

"Hey," Joe warned, showing he wasn't willing to let Jason talk about Lindsey like that. "We're just trying to help and understand why you're doing what you're doing."

"I'm not doing anything! Why don't you understand that? I'm in the middle of my a-levels, of course I'm a bit more stressed than usual but that doesn't mean I have an eating disorder for God's sake."

"Robbie's in the same boat but I don't see him telling anyone that I threatened to kill him," Freddie said through gritted teeth.

"We just want to help you," Lindsey pleaded, interrupting before Jason could lash out at his brother once more. "We're family Jason, you know we'll do anything and everything that we can to help."

"Family? You're not even family Lindsey, so why are you even involved? You're shagging my brother which is apparently good enough when paired with all your _experience_."

"Lindsey is just as much of this family as the rest of us," Joe snapped, shielding his now devastated partner. "She has been for years and she's doing everything she can to help you. Why don't you see that?"

"You know what I see? I see you all being interfering assholes! You've convinced yourself there's something wrong with me and you're thinking up reason after reason to explain it, even if it's ridiculous. I'm pretty sure not even twenty four hours ago you were convinced I was a druggie and now we've moved on to me having an eating disorder. What next? I'm a prostitute? I'm being bullied? How about I'm having an affair with one of the teachers?"

"Why are you being so impossible?" Robbie shouted, standing so he was toe to toe with his twin. "We're worried about you, we want to help you get better. You're skin and bone Jase! You're fucking killing yourself but you're too blind to see it."

"There is nothing to help with. I am fine. There is nothing wrong with me except that I'm related to a load of dumbwits. Apart from that my life is fucking dandy. You know what? I wish I wasn't part of this family because I hate you all." The room was filled with a sudden silence and Jason wished he'd could take back the words that had just left his mouth, as he saw the completely devastated looks on the others faces.

Before he could even begin to apologise for saying something so untrue and _wrong_ he was pushed back, a blinding pain erupting from his left cheek. He looked up, clutching his face as he bit back tears, to see Freddie restraining Robbie.

"You punched me," he gasped, unable to believe his brother would go that far. The sudden act of violence brought back all the anger full force and Jason momentarily forgot his feelings of guilt in favour of getting lost in the moment. "And you wonder why I'm so messed up. Although seems like I'm not the only psycho here-" Robbie roared, trying to get back to his twin, though his path was completely blocked by the others.

"Robbie go and cool down," Sandy demanded, motioning for Freddie to physically move him when the younger boy didn't seem to even hear her words. "We really don't need this, not today."

The two brothers left the room, Freddie dragging Robbie into the garden and far away from the others. Only when the back door clicked shut behind them did Sandy deflate slightly, turning to Jason who was still clutching his cheek.

"Come here," she said, moving close to check him over, and yet as she went to move his hand away from his face, Jason took a step back, obviously unwilling to be crowded.

"Leave it, I'm fine," he hissed, his eyes not softening when he saw how upset his mum was.

"She's just trying to help," Ziggy said, standing behind Sandy, letting her know that they were all there to support her. "We all are Jase."

"Hmm seems it. My lovely bruise just shows how much you all care about me."

"Why won't you let us help you baby," Sandy pleaded once more, though she wasn't expecting a lot. The whole morning, hell the past twenty four hours had been the same argument going round and round and they'd hadn't gained any ground. Jason was still refusing to believe he had a problem and was doing everything he could to alienate them, but if the Roscoes were anything, they were fighters.

They would never turn their back on one of their own, even if that one was doing everything in his power to make them give up.

"There is nothing to help. Get that into your heads. I am _fine_, I've told you all this before but you're refusing to believe me, instead you're going on the word of a girl who passed her last medicine exam not even a year ago and who doesn't even do anything related to mental health. How do you know she even knows what she's talking about? You don't!"

Unwilling to continue the argument even further, Jason turned on his heel and stormed up the stairs, slamming his bedroom door behind him, leaving the remaining Roscoes in the living room at a complete loss of what to do next.

"Well... that could of gone better." Ziggy groaned, falling back onto the couch.

_And there's plenty more to come! _

_I hope this chapter dispelled any worries about Lindsey getting to the right answer so quickly. Yes, we the audience know that she got the right answer, but there are still plenty of doubts for the family and it won't be plain sailing just because she got it right. _

_I chose Lindsey because she is a doctor and knows the signs of mental health (the reason why Sandy hasn't will be looked at in one of the future chapters), and from what I've seen in the show, she does seem to get involved in things that don't necessarily concern her. _

_Jason obviously doesn't like that she has got it right, and is using the fact that it really is nothing more than an educated guess as well as Lindsey's inexperience to his advantage, though whether it works you'll have to see! _

_I completely understand why some people weren't so fond of Lindsey getting it in one, I just hope this chapter and this note explained a few things for everyone and there is plenty more to come from all sides about Lindsey's 'diagnosis'. I'm also really hoping this doesn't come across as ranty, because it really isn't.  
I'm loving the feedback from every single person, and any doubts or concerns that you have please share, because then if for some reason an explanation hasn't already been written in (and honestly 99% of the time they already have), I can include it into the story to help others understand where I'm going. _

_See you all in a few days time! _


	22. Chapter 22

_Although this whole story is dark and everyone should know what contents is involved, I just want to put another trigger warning in. About a third of the way through this chapter there is quite an extreme scene involving self-harming, and whilst the actual action isn't overly descriptive, there are moments before hand which may trigger a few people. _

_I've blocked it off so you just need to look out for """""", and if you'd rather not read it just skip that bit. It doesn't take away from the actual story and there's nothing really of importance there that I can think of. _

"Calm down Rob," Freddie said, trying to placate his younger brother once more, though Robbie was having none of it and was still pacing the garden. He obviously wanted to get back into the house and finish it with Jason, his fists still clenched tight, ready for a fight. "You knocking each other about till you're black and blue ain't going to help anyone."

"You sure?" Robbie asked, trying for a joke, though his shaky tone made it fall flat. "Why can't he see we're just trying to help him? He's making it so difficult, he's my twin for God's sake and I can't do anything."

"I know," Freddie said softly, hating seeing how Jason's lies and deceit were affecting everyone in the whole family in the worst way possible. "We just have to show him we'll be there for him no matter what and try to help him as much as we can."

"But how can we do that if he's not even willing to talk to us about it."

"I don't know all right," Freddie groaned, trying not to snap at his younger brother. It wasn't Robbie's fault, they all wanted to help Jason, yet it was difficult to acknowledge that he didn't want them to. Only Robbie was openly asking the questions that were on everyone's minds and it was easy to see that it was tearing him apart.

All five brothers had a close bond (or at least they used to), but Jason and Robbie had always been a lot closer as they'd grown up with one another completely. Freddie couldn't even begin to imagine how difficult it was for Robbie to see his twin practically killing himself for a reason they weren't even sure about.

"Do you reckon Lindsey's right? That he does have an eating disorder?" Robbie asked, Jason's words playing back in his head. "I mean, Jase is spot on, she doesn't have a lot of experience in that area."

"I know how difficult it is to accept it, but I think she is. When we thought he was on drugs... well his reaction was completely different. He was a lot less defensive than just now. He's sweating, cause he's know we're right."

"But if he does have... _that_ then why hasn't he said anything? Gone to us for help or stopped?"

"I don't know, maybe he hasn't even accepted that he has it. I don't know a lot about all that crap but I can imagine people don't openly acknowledge it straight away. Maybe he thinks he can stop when he wants or that he's in control, but I wouldn't want to say."

"So what do we do?" Robbie asked, and his voice was so small, so broken like he had already given up all hope, that Freddie wanted to do what any decent big brother would do, and wrap Robbie up and hide him from the rest of the world until it was all better.

But there was something else there, a hidden strength that gave Freddie a glimmer of hope. Robbie wasn't going to roll over and take it, no, he was going to fight and do everything in his power to help Jason out, no matter what it took.

"We help him. We do whatever we can and we don't give up."

}}}}}}}}}}

The bedroom door slammed behind him and Jason had to hold in the scream that was threatening to break free. Why were they so interfering? Why couldn't they just leave it alone? He was _fine, _he was in control. But now, now it was all ruined.

He just wanted to be left alone, but no, his fucking family just had to get involved. What right did they have to say what he could or could not do.

He didn't need them, he was almost there, only a little bit more and then he would have stopped. He would have been perfect, would have been able to go back to normal, but now they'd be watching.

He felt the familiar feeling of panic rise through him and cursed. Not now, anytime but now. His breathing came in short and sharp exhales and the room began spinning round him. He needed his razor, he needed it more than anything, it was the only thing that worked, he needed it after the hellish morning he'd just endured.

But it was looking to be impossible, the others seemed to have split once he'd left and he'd already heard a few of them wandering just outside of his room. He couldn't leave his room, even if it was to just to go to the bathroom. The chance of being caught was too great and he wasn't in the best state to be relentlessly questioned once more.

So if he couldn't use the familiar razor what could he use? There had to be something here.

"""""""""""

Anything. It just had to be sharp. Uncaring of the mess that he was creating, Jason looked through drawers, throwing books and clothes on the floor, not caring of where they landed. He paused when he saw his pencil case lying on the side, opening it with shaking hands. The innocent pencil sharpener stared back at him and he pulled it out, running his finger on the blade, laughing lightly when he realised how sharp it was. Perfect.

Though it wouldn't do a lot of good still attached to it's plastic cage. He placed it carefully on the side, desperate not to lose it in the huge pile of crap lying in the middle of the floor, before he began looking once more. There had to be a screwdriver somewhere, Robbie always had spare kit from the garage lying around.

It took a further five minutes of searching, but Jason finally pulled out a small kit from the bottom of the wardrobe, grabbing the small screwdriver that was lying there and untwisting the screw on the sharpener until the blade dropped into his hand. Throwing the now two unimportant items to the side, Jason clutched the blade tightly, still trying to control his breathing which had only gotten worse as time had passed.

He pulled up his sleeve and automatically began slashing on his arm, hissing in sick delight as the sharp pain hit time and time again. He paused when his heart rate and breathing had slowed to a much healthier rate, watching distractedly as the blood from the new seven cuts merged together, dripping down his arm.  
Before it could hit the floor he grabbed a tissue and began soaking up the mess, trying to clean up his arm, wincing as it became uncomfortably sticky.

He knew he needed to wash his cuts and possibly put a plaster on them, but he wasn't even sure he wanted to, not yet. He didn't want to hide it, wanted to bask in his actions, watch the blood from the separate cuts mingle and mix until he couldn't tell where it had come from, the dull aching pain surrounding him until it was the only thing he knew.

"""""""""""

Once the bleeding had subsided and his arm was a red mess, Jason snuck out of his room, making sure to conceal his arm lest he bump into any of his brothers, and ran to the bathroom, bolting the door behind him. He took a shaky breath and ran his arm under the cold tap, holding back a cry as the pain hit him once again. Ignoring the sharp stinging sensation that was running through his whole body, Jason began lightly scrubbing the blood away.

Only when this had been completed did Jason turn the tap off, patting his arm dry and trying not smudge the blood that had sprung forward as a few cuts re-opened themselves. He was just about to leave when he heard approaching footsteps coming up the stairs.

"So you reckon he got rid of it?" Ziggy asked, his voice slightly muffled through the door but still completely understandable. Having a pretty good idea of what his brother was asking, Jason sprung forward and pressed his ear to the door, listening intently.

"Nah, he can't have, there was no way Jase had time," Joe replied, his voice sure. "That insulin is in this house somewhere Zig, I'm telling you. We need to find it, it'll back us up completely and means we can actually get him some help. Without this... it's like Lindsey said, it's all circumstantial evidence."

Their voices trailed off as they passed the hallway to go to the office and Jason let out a shaky breath. So they wanted to find his insulin?

_They think you're mental. Going round the bend. They want to lock you up, get rid of the freakshow and lock away the key. You'll never stop them, you'll spend the rest of your days in a padded cell, being injected with that _medicine_, you'll just get fatter and madder with every passing day. You know it's true. Why even deny it? _

No, that wasn't going to happen. He wouldn't allow it, he wasn't going to let them send him away. He wasn't mad, he was fine, or he would be if they just left him alone. It all seemed to rest on his insulin, and well, he was the only one who knew where that was.

Dropping to his knees, Jason dug round in the cabinet until he'd found the bag of insulin and lifted it gently so none of the vials would clink together and possibly alert the others to what he was doing. Once the teen was back in the safety of his room he placed the plastic bag on his bed, ignoring the mess he had created just moments earlier. Jason instead chose to frantically plan.

He needed to get rid of it and soon. Far away from where none of the others would ever find it, no matter how hard they looked. Already feeling another headache forming when Jason realised how much more lies and deceit he would be creating by this simple action, he completely missed the steady beat of someone making their way up the stairs and to his bedroom.

}}}}}}}}}}

"We're going down to the garage," Ziggy said, poking his head around the back door to talk to Freddie and Robbie who were still sat in the garden almost an hour later. "Joe told me to tell you to get your arse in gear Freds. We've got a lot to do,"

"Okay okay I'm moving." Freddie snarked, trying to keep his tone light. "You want to come Robbie? Keep your mind off of... everything."

"Nah I'm good," he replied shaking his head. He was certainly a lot calmer than he had been, but Freddie knew his brother too well and knew that he'd be like a ticking time bomb at the moment. Anything would set him off. "I need to catch up on some English coursework anyway."

The pair stood from the uncomfortable bench they'd found themselves on, making their way into the already crowded kitchen. "So we've got Mr Bankson coming in at one and then Mr Potts at half past," Joe said, more to himself than anything as he read from the garage book, that he'd grabbed from the office only moments before. "Those cars done?"

"Yes," Ziggy sighed. "No thanks to you, did it all by myself yesterday whilst you two were-" he trailed off as he remembered exactly what Joe and Freddie had been up to the day before.

"Well we'll know who to blame when they don't even make it down the drive then," Joe said after a pause, ending the awkward silence.

"Come on, we better get going." The three eldest brothers left the house in a flurry of chaos and laughter leaving only Robbie in the kitchen.

Both Sandy and Lindsey were in the living room, talking quietly with one another, though the younger boy really didn't feel like interrupting that. There was only one thing they could be talking about and he'd speculated about his twin more than enough for one life-time.

He grabbed his school bag from the side and began setting up on the kitchen table. He'd only been there for a few minutes before he realised he didn't have the poetry extracts that were needed, and when he realised where he'd left them he felt like crying.

The papers were on his desk in his room, where Jason was currently residing. To his knowledge Jason hadn't left the house and Robbie really wasn't in the mood for another confrontation with his twin. But he needed the extracts to do his work and he was seriously behind in his English coursework. Sighing he left the kitchen and jogged up the stairs, stopping at his bedroom door as he tried to compose himself.

Why was he so nervous? It didn't make any sense, this was his room too for crying out loud! He should be allowed to come and go whenever he felt like it, but the thought of yet another argument with Jason over nothing wasn't a pleasing thought.

"Stop being so dim," Robbie muttered quietly, willing himself to press down on the door handle and enter the bedroom. "You've got nothing to be afraid of. Jase can't do anything, just go in, get the work and leave. Job done."

Taking a deep breath he pushed the door open, stopping in shock at the mess that welcomed him as he entered the room, noticing the shocked look on Jason's face as he froze where he stood. "What the hell?"

_Come back next time to see how that little confrontation works out ;) _

_If anyone chose not to read the bit I sectioned and is a little confused, Jason basically made a massive mess in the bedroom whilst having a panic attack and looking for another way to self-harm. Hope the cleared up any possible confusion. _

_Leave a review and tell me what you thought, it'd be a lovely Birthday present!_


	23. Chapter 23

"What the hell?" Robbie's shocked voice broke through to Jason. He jumped up from where he had been kneeling, trying not to make a move to the bag of insulin lying innocently on the bed, desperately hoping that his brother wouldn't notice it. "What have you done?"

Looking around the room, Jason winced at the mess he'd created. "Uh yeah... about that."

"You better have a good reason why you've done this," Robbie growled, pushing past his brother and trying to locate his now missing English notes. When his back was turned, Jason grabbed the bag and hid it under the bed, kicking an old shirt over it for good measure.

"As a good a reason as you did when you trashed it yesterday?"

"You know why we did that," Robbie snapped, turning back to his brother. "We're trying to help you but you're too stubborn to see that."

"You're ruining my life, that's what you're doing. You're turning everyone against me in this insane mission."

"That insulin was here Jase. Me, Joe and Freddie all saw it and we're going to find. And when we do, we're bringing it straight to mum."

Something dark passed through Jason's eyes, something malicious and twisted as he started to taunt Robbie. "Aww running to mummy. What a brave boy you are, good to know you can sort out your own problems."

"But these ain't my problems," Robbie shouted and Jason shot a cautionary look to the door. The last thing he wanted was a member of their family interfering further into his life because they heard the pair arguing. Again. "They're yours and we're just trying to help you fix them."

"I've told you like a million times there's nothing to help with. I am fine."

"Yeah? Well if you were fine you wouldn't be lying. You wouldn't be pretending that Freddie's been blackmailing yah. You wouldn't be walking around like a skeleton, collapsing left, right and centre-"

"To be fair, I've collapsed twice in the last six months and both of those times weren't purposefully," Jason broke in, and... it was kind of true. The first time he had collapsed had been in Browning's car and that was completely accidental. He certainly hadn't meant to get locked in a crappy mini for almost a whole day without any food, drink or insulin.

And the second... well that was slightly less accidental. He hadn't wanted to end up in the hospital, that was the last thing he wanted actually, but it wasn't entirely unexpected, after all he'd been screwing up with his insulin pattern for close to three months at that point.

"That's two times too many," Robbie pointed out, looking unimpressed. "And they wouldn't have had happened if you actually took your insulin."

"We're not having that conversation, not again." Jason sighed, turning away from his brother, beginning to clear up the mess that he had created not even an hour previously.

"Why not? You know what I'm saying is true, you have to. How can you be so blind that you can't even see that you're killing yourself?"

"Because I'm not!" Jason shouted, throwing the books back on the floor with a deafening thud. "You're just being over dramatic as usual, you've convinced yourself that's something's wrong and you won't leave it alone, even when I'm telling you there's not. You're meant to be my twin brother, you're meant to believe what I tell you, not accuse me of lying at every bloody turn."

"It's because I'm your twin that I'm doing what I am. I want... no I need to help you Jase. You're just making it impossible, but I'm not giving up, not until you're better."

"There is nothing to get better from," Jason shouted, more angered by his brother's apathetic tone than he thought possible. "Why can't you see that?"

"And why can't you see that you're killing yourself?" Robbie asked, his voice raising slightly and Jason couldn't contain the small smile. Good, he was finally getting a reaction out of his brother.

"Please," he scoffed, not even sure why he was pushing Robbie any more. He just wanted the reaction, was desperate for a fight. "What is it with you and those dramatics, being a bit of a _queen_ aren't you?"

"Say that again," Robbie snarled and Jason grinned. He had Robbie right where he wanted him and his twin had fully forgotten what they were originally arguing about in favour of letting his temper take full control. It was one of his weak points and very 1950's of him, but Robbie was incredibly defensive of his sexuality, meaning that Jason knew he could always beat him in an argument if he so wished.

"Hit a nerve hey Rob? Why is that? You're always so defensive when anyone even thinks the word gay, but maybe you're not the bone-headed caveman that we all think you are. Maybe you're hiding something. Is that right?

"Hell I've seen the way you look at Callum so I think we both know it is. Do you dream of it? Nights spent in his arms. How jealous do you get when you see him with a girl-"

Robbie let out a bellow of rage, launching for his brother and tackling him to the ground. "I am not gay!" he yelled, punching Jason once more and though the other boy scrabbled against him, he was too small and weak to have any real effect.

Before Robbie could throw another punch, he was physically pulled away, both Lindsey and Sandy having to restrain him, sharing a look of shock at the scene in front of them.

"What the hell is going on?" Sandy cried as Jason glowered in the middle of the room, feeling at his face to get a sense of the damage that Robbie had caused. He was faintly surprised when his hand came back red and idly realised that his nose must be bleeding.

"Ask him," Robbie spat, trying to pry his arms out of the two women's iron grips, though they were having none of it. He cursed himself for his idiocy, he should have kept calm and in control, but instead he had launched, all the anger and fear taking control at the slightest taunt, completely playing along to Jason's whim.

"I'm asking both of you," Sandy snapped.

"You can't be blaming me for this," Robbie cried in outrage, turning to his mother as well as he could. "I'm the only one here actually doing anything about this. You're all sitting on your asses until the problem goes away-"

"Don't you dare say that," Sandy whispered, her tone hard. "I am doing everything I can, just like I would do for any of you."

Robbie had the grace to look apologetic but before he could say anything, he was interrupted by Jason, who still in the middle of room, with blood dripping down his face and an impressive collection of bruises on his face blooming (from that morning and just moments before) began slowly clapping, captivating their attention.

"Not that, that wasn't lovely, and I do so love it when you talk like I'm not here but are we going to forget the fact that I've been beaten up twice today, by the same person. My brother, the one who minutes ago was going on about how much he wanted to help me."

Robbie tensed once more, though Sandy and Lindsey pushed him away from his brother, knowing how disastrous it could become. "Go and cool down love," Sandy soothed. "Go to the garage or something."

Looking like he wanted to argue, but ultimately knowing better, Robbie turned on his heel and half heartedly jogged down the stairs, the front door slamming behind him moments later.

"Go and make us a cuppa Linds," Sandy pleaded with the young doctor, to which Lindsey went to do straight away, knowing Sandy needed some one-on-one time with Jason, something she hadn't been able to have since all the revelations the previous day.

Once only Jason and Sandy were left in the room, the concerned mother turned to her battered son, holding back the tears that once more threatened to break free when she saw his beaten, frail frame cutting a lonely figure in the centre of the large bedroom.

"Baby," she whispered, grabbing a tissue from the side and making her way over to Jason, intent on wiping the still fresh blood off his face.

"Don't," he snapped, taking a step back and wiping the blood away instinctively with the back of his hand. "Don't you dare touch me."

"I'm just trying to help," Sandy said, pleading that Jason would stop looking at her with pure anger, fear and _hatred_ in his eyes.

"So why don't you do anything? I'm covered in bruises because my own brother is beating me up and you're doing nothing more than telling him to calm down. I'm like this because you're not doing anything to help me. Why? Do you hate me that much?"

"What? No of course-"

"You know I'm even surprised you interrupted, thought you would have wanted him finishing the job."

"I can't believe you even think that. I love you Jason, I love you so much, I would do anything for you baby, I -"

"Stop fucking calling me that! I'm not your baby!" Jason screamed, shocking Sandy into silence. She regained her footing a few moments later, trying to stop her voice from shaking.

"I'm just trying to help. You're my son and I love you. We just want you to get better."

"I am fine," Jason sobbed. "Why are you so insistent that there's something wrong with me?"

"If you're fine," Sandy said softly, hating herself for saying what she was about to say. "Then you'll take some insulin. You're due a shot any minute now."

"What?" Jason breathed, unable to believe what his mum was telling him to do. She wanted him to...

_She wants to see you fail. See you inject all that fat like the big fat piggy that you are. Piggy, piggy piggy, she should call you that instead of baby. More appropriate anyway. _

"You heard me J," Sandy whispered, a single tear running down her face as she tried to fight back the pure animalistic sobs, at seeing her baby boy destroying himself right in front of her eyes. "You say you're fine, so if you are, you can take a shot. Just like that."

Seeing the dilemma that he was in, Jason took a deep breath and reached for his kit with shaking hands. He hated himself for being so weak, but he knew he needed to do it. Maybe, just maybe if he played this right, he'd get everyone off his case.

If he took the insulin then they wouldn't be able to say anything, they'd have to believe him. But if he didn't, well they wouldn't stop till they locked him away. It was a worthwhile sacrifice, right?

He took his blood sugar, making sure to hide the high number from his mum as he measured out the needed medicine. It didn't take long, only a couple of minutes really, but when the time came to prick his finger, Jason found he couldn't do it.

His hands were slightly shaking and he was covered in a light sheen of cold sweat. But looking up to see his mum's absolutely heartbroken look, he took a breath and pricked his fingertip, injecting the insulin and trying not show how disgusted he was feeling.

Once the vial was empty, Jason placed it on to the side and looked over to his mum. There was a mixed look on her face and it was something that Jason didn't know what to make of. She shot him a smile and the relief and pride was obvious to see, both shining in her eyes, but there was something else.

It was in the background and wouldn't be obvious to the mere passer by, but Jason knew his mum well. He knew when she was hiding something and she was definitely hiding something. More specifically how she was really feeling. He didn't say anything, just watched his mum for a few seconds, trying to work out what she was hiding from him.

And then it hit him. That glint in the corner of her eye was fear. She was scared, terrified actually and Jason knew he hadn't fooled Sandy. She might be pretending to go along with it, but he could see that his mum didn't believe what she had just seen. On some level, Sandy Roscoe knew that her son was lying, Jason just didn't know by how much.

Unable to deal with yet another confrontation, Jason turned away from his mum, missing the absolutely crushed look that crossed her face. "Uh can I go now? I kind of want to wash all this crap off my face."

"Yeah, yeah of course," Sandy stammered, unsure of what to do now. Quickly she left the bedroom, She wanted nothing more to do than comfort her son and protect him to the best of her abilities, but at the same time she was scared.

She didn't know what to do, how to fix this mess and she knew that she couldn't do it by herself, but by God did she wish she could. Her Jason was twisting into something unrecognisable, whatever he was doing and whatever he was doing it for was changing him completely.

He was no longer her sweet innocent boy, no now he was scarred and defensive, unwilling to trust anyone, even his own family. She wanted to cry and scream and to run miles and miles away, but she couldn't. That wouldn't fix the problem, and the poison that had taken over Jason would only spread, ruining their family down to the core until there was nothing more but a burnt out shell.

She had to do something, it would hurt, not just her or him, but every single member of their family, but Sandy knew it was necessary. She had to do something for Jason now, before it was too late.

}}}}}}}}}

The low rumblings of the kettle weren't enough to drown out the shouts and cries from upstairs and Lindsey sighed as the guilt and anxiety that she had been feeling since last night, doubled in existence. Was this all her fault? Because it sure felt like it.

The whole family had been walking on eggshells around Jason for what felt like months, all having been on the receiving end of his temper since he broke his hand, but since she went to the others with her own suspicions it had all gotten a lot worse.

Once more she cursed her bluntness, wishing she had approached the subject a bit more differently. She loved Jason, just like she did with all her family and would do anything and everything she could to help the younger boy, but it wasn't easy.

She had been trained to notice the signs of ill mental health and Jason was ticking a lot of boxes at the moment, though that didn't stop the doubt that had reared its ugly head since talking to him earlier that morning.

What if she was wrong? What if she had just made a mountain out of molehill, therefore making it worse for the whole family. During her training she had always trusted her instincts, they rarely failed her and it was what made her such a good doctor. When she had qualified she had continued to rely on her initial thought and feelings and despite still being a junior, many of her co-workers trusted her wholeheartedly.

But what if, this one time she was wrong? Her instincts had never failed her but there was a first time for everything.

"Don't be so stupid Lindsey," she berated herself furiously, hating herself for doubting her thoughts. If she backed down now, then nothing would be sorted. If she was right and Jason did have an eating disorder, but then backtracked, it would just make it a lot worse for him. With the way he was acting, Lindsey knew that Jason would leap onto her doubts and make them much worse, until she had no idea what to believe.

She couldn't do that, and there was still a part of her that suspected that Jason's earlier attack on her was because she had hit the nail on the head. But she had to make sure it was definitely possible, so tea forgotten, Lindsey grabbed her laptop from the side, ready to research as much about diabulimia that she could.

At the same time that Lindsey was intently reading, making as many notes as she could, Sandy was making plans, desperate to repair her family, wiping the tears that had fallen and trying to keep the strong front up for not only her family but for herself.

Whilst this was going on, Jason was still sat in the bedroom, staring intently at the bag full of insulin cartridges. He had to get rid of the thing, it had almost been found far too many times and he couldn't keep it in the house. Joe's earlier words of doing a search echoed through his head and Jason tried to think, coming up with a way to get rid of it all in the easiest way possible.

_And that damned insulin is still being a nuisance and remaining hidden! How frustrated are you all? _


	24. Chapter 24

It didn't take a lot of time to wash the blood off his face, though Jason couldn't help but wince at the impressive collection of bruises that were now revealed, tracing the darkness from his jawbone to just below his eye. His left cheek was slightly swollen and he knew it would all look worse in the morning.

There was little he could about the current state of his face however and anyway, Jason had more important matters at hand. The main one being, getting the damned insulin out of the house. He grabbed the bag and hid it under his hoodie, trying not to rustle the plastic as he made his way down the stairs.

"I'm going out," he called to his mum, ignoring her concerned shouts as he slammed the front door behind him, running down the path and into the street.

That was the most difficult part done, now he just needed to dispose of the stuff. It didn't matter where, just as long as it was far away from the house and therefore, far away from his nosy family. Once he got rid of it, he'd be fine. After all, what would they be able to do without any evidence?

}}}}}}}}}

"Ruby! Ruby!" The frizzy haired girl stopped as she heard her name being called from halfway across the village, and turned to see Holly Cunningham running from the shop, ignoring the cries from annoyed customers who were waiting to be served.

"What do you want?" She asked, unable to keep her tone from turning cold. Although the two teens had never really talked, Ruby didn't really like the younger school-girl finding her to be stuck up and a general bitch whenever they had hung out.

"Have you seen Jason?"

"Not since school yesterday. Why do you even care, last time I looked you were still treating him like crap." Ruby said, arching a brow to show her displeasure with the blonde. "So, even if I did know I wouldn't tell you. I don't really like people putting down my friends for fun."

"Actually I wouldn't do that," Holly bristled, the accusations making her uncomfortable because she knew how true they once were. "In fact, me and Jason are dating."

"What?" Ruby spluttered. "Have I missed something here? Landed in an alternate universe maybe? Because last time I checked you were taking the mick out of him everytime I looked, and now you're expecting me to believe that you're dating?"

"Look I'm not proud of what I've said or how I've acted, but I want to change that. I ran into him last night, and well, something had changed. Between us that is."

"Right. And you expect me to believe that is all it is? I know girls like you Holly, hell I used to be just like you. You don't have any qualms about putting someone down for fun, but if you dare even think about doing that to Jason." Ruby finished, letting her threat lay in the air, smirking at Holly's uneasy look.

She took a deep breath, her eyes hardening as she glared straight back at Ruby. "But I'm not like you. I'm not scared about my feelings and if I want to act on them I will. I really like Jason, and I'm not letting someone like you scare me off."

Ruby scoffed, though she softened when she saw something hidden behind Holly's closed off gaze. It wasn't fear (Ruby wasn't even sure the other girl could feel such emotion), but there was something else... It was pain, she realised, shocked at the the genuine and hurt look that Holly was trying to keep hidden from her.

Begrudgingly realising she may be wrong, Ruby backed off and instead choose to lean against the deli doorframe. She knew that she was accepting Jason's new relationship status, but that didn't mean she couldn't have a bit of fun with Holly before-hand. "Fine, maybe you do like him-"

"I do."

"But, if you hurt him," Ruby carried on, acting like Holly hadn't said anything. "Well I definitely won't be stopping his _four_ brothers from finding you. In fact, I'll help them bury your body."

Threat delivered loud and clear, Holly nodded frantically, face pale. "I won't hurt him. Anyway, everyone loves a boxer," she said the last part airily, trying to show she wasn't shaken by Ruby's threat, but the comment fell flat and the older girl could still see the traces of nervousness there.

"Why are you looking for him anyway? Shouldn't you two be joined at the hip?"

"He was acting off this morning, really nervous and I've been trying to call him but his phone's switched off. I know you're like his best friend so I was wondering if he'd said anything."

"What was wrong with him?" Ruby asked, instantly worrying for her friend. "Is he still sick from the hospital?"

"No, nothing like that. I don't think so anyway, but he was just acting... off. Like he really didn't want to go back home, it was like he was scared of something. And then I saw Ziggy and he was being weird too, he seemed really worried for Jason."

"That's weird, there must be something up, I'm guessing you got that text from Robbie last night?" Ruby asked, referring to Robbie's plea to call him if anyone saw Jason. Holly nodded quickly. "And Jason hasn't said anything about it?"

"Not a word, I didn't really want to push it though, it might be a family thing after all."

"So you are growing up," Ruby said, shooting a somewhat impressed look to Holly who only rolled her eyes. She looked ready to say something else, but stilled as her eyes followed someone who Holly couldn't see. She turned around and instantly recognised the figure lurking in the shadows of the club, hood pulled low over his face.

"Jason," she breathed, her earlier fears only growing as she saw her boyfriend constantly looking over his shoulder, and not noticing the two girls who were standing mere metres from him, just by the deli entrance.

Neither Ruby nor Holly said anything, watching the boy move past the club and into the small courtyard by the back of the building. He pulled a bag out from under his hoodie and dumped it into the small bin, his frame instantly relaxing as it landed at the bottom with a small thud.

Pulling the hood further over his head, though his face was still just as hidden as it had been previously, he went to turn back and both girls knew that they'd be spotted, not that they were really hiding in the first place, after all they had no reason to. But before he could leave, his attention was caught by something, or rather someone else.

"Hey!" Robbie Roscoe yelled, running under the bridge that opened into the village and over to his twin, who looked like he wanted to do nothing more but leave. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Jason snapped, squaring up his brother, the two circling each other and looking ready for a fight. "Thought mum said to go to the garage. Though you've never been one to do as you're told."

"Oh leave it Jason, you're just sweating now, you know we're going to find it."

"There's nothing to find."

"Just tell me where it is!"

"I'm not doing this," Jason shouted, turning to leave, though he was pulled back when Robbie grabbed his arm. The sudden movement made the large hood fall away from his face slightly, revealing the bruising that was covering over half of it and shocking the girls into silence

Robbie had obviously seen the damage too and dropped his grip instantly. Jason stepped closer and began speaking quickly, though he was too quiet for Holly and Ruby to hear him, however neither missed the look of guilt that passed over Robbie's face.

Eventually the two brothers split, storming off in opposite directions, still not having noticed the two girls standing only metres away from them. "What the hell?" Ruby asked, dumbstruck, but Holly's mind was racing.

"Did you see his face. What the hell's happened to him, he wasn't like that this morning."

"You don't think Robbie did that do you?" Ruby asked, fearing for her friend. "I mean, Robbie looked really guilty when he saw the bruises, like he hadn't realised... the damage?"

"He wouldn't do that. Not to his twin, not to Jason." Holly replied adamantly, worrying for her boyfriend and the trouble he was seemingly involved in. She began replaying the brothers conversation in her head, trying to make head or tail of what had been said but coming up blank.

"There was something up with him, with both of them, there has to be. I've never seen them argue like that before and that was pretty... intense. Robbie's looking for something though, something that Jason's hidden."

"What do you bet that whatever he's looking for is in that bin?" Ruby suggested, pointing to said bin which was standing innocently next the club gates.

"Oh please tell me you're not suggesting what I think you are." Holly scoffed, jogging after Ruby as she made her way across the street.

"Look, Jason was acting really sketchy and put something in here. Not even a minute later, Robbie comes in, demanding to know where something is. It really doesn't take a genius to put two and two together."

"Well I'm not putting my hand in there," Holly said, flicking a strand of hair over her shoulder, brazenly displaying her long, painted and most importantly clean nails.

"Some girlfriend, won't even go through a bin to help your doting boyfriend out," Ruby scoffed, pulling her sleeve up. "The bloody thing is on the top."

"Uh, get out of the way," Holly snapped, getting riled up at Ruby's implications. "If anyone sees this I'll be such a reject."

"Oh stop complaining," Ruby said, rolling her eyes at the blonde's dramatics, smiling as Holly stuck her hand in the stinking bin and fished the carrier bag out.

"Ew, ew, ew, ew." Holly cried, dropping the bag on the floor, where it fell with a loud crash. Her dramatics somewhat forgotten, she stopped screaming to share a concerned look with Ruby. "What the hell?"

Warily, Ruby leant down and picked up the bag, untying the knot with little difficulty and as one, the two girls peered into the bag.

}}}}}}}}}

As the door slammed behind Jason, Sandy's cry of protest died on her lips. Instead she groaned and fell back onto the sofa, ignoring Lindsey's concerned look. "Just give him time Sands,"

"How can I do that when with every missed injection, he's endangering his life even more. I should have noticed something Lindsey, he's my son. I shouldn't have been so blind to something going on right under my own roof."

"You can't blame yourself," Lindsey soothed, making her way to her future mother in law. "That's one of the worst things you can do actually."

"So what can I do? He's my baby and I should know how to help him. I've been trained for situations like this,"

"You've been trained to handle people who are doing drugs. Jason isn't doing that, and although there will be a few similarities in some of the treatment he can get, counselling wise, the situations are incredibly different. You're also his mum Sandy, you may know the signs like the back of your hand, but when it's your own family that's suffering, well, everyone is a little bit blind."

"But an eating disorder? I can't believe it, he's not fat, he's never been fat, it doesn't make sense."

"Hey, you know it's not all about thinking your fat. Sometimes it about control, or trying to prevent something from happening with the intention of stopping after a while. We can't even begin to guess what's going through Jason's head.

"All we can do is show him we're there for him and get him some proper help. Actually, whilst you were up with Jason I was doing a bit of research." Lindsey grabbed her laptop from the side and re-opened the tabs she had been looking through.

"I was wrong earlier, there has been a specialised name for diabulimia, Some eating disorder specialists are now acknowledging it and its official name is ED-DMT1. It's kind of a mix of eating disorder and diabetes Type 1."

"Great, now at least I have an official name for what's wrong with my son," Sandy croaked, scrolling through the information and noting some of the more important bullet points.

"He's showing the majority of the short term symptoms," Lindsey noted, wincing as she read over the list. Her research and practically confirmed her earlier suspicions that it was an eating disorder that Jason did have, though how she wished it wasn't. "Fatigue, constant thirst and urination, high blood glucose levels, increased appetite they're all there."

"Hell half of the medium term symptoms are there Linds. Extreme weight-loss and loss of muscle tissue, dehydration and ketoacidosis. It makes you wonder though, if he's already showing those signs, how long till the longer-term ones hit."

"You mean blindness, organ failure-"

"I mean death," Sandy said bluntly. "He's killing himself Lindsey, and I'm scared. Because it's going to catch up with him if we don't do something and soon, but he's too lost in this that he can't even see the damage he's doing."

"Hey, don't talk like that," Lindsey soothed, taking the laptop off of Sandy's legs and placing it unceremoniously to the side. "Don't you even think that okay, because we're going to help Jason. We're going to do everything we can and we're going to help him recover from this.

"But we can't do that if we act like this. We have to be strong, for Jason and for the others. We can't focus on those negatives Sandy, those are all long-term effects, so if we act now, well they'll never happen. But that's what we need to do, we need to act now."

Realising the younger woman was right Sandy let some of her control slip, knowing Lindsey wouldn't think any less of her because of a few tears. "But how? What can we do? If you hadn't noticed Jason isn't really up to listening at the moment."

Lindsey was silent for a moment, though it was clear to Sandy that she had an idea in her head and was merely trying to think of a way to phrase it. Her patience grew thinner with every passing second and wasn't helped when Lindsey looked up, opening and closing her mouth a few times, as if the words she was about to say physically hurt her.

After a painful few minutes, Lindsey stilled, took a deep breath and turned fully to Sandy.

"I think we really need to consider getting Jason sectioned."

_Some of you were right in your guess that the family would start considering getting Jason sectioned, though you'll have to wait till the next chapter to see Sandy's reaction and if that actually happens. _

_Whilst not a lot of 'explosive' things happened this chapter, I'm sure you'll all agree that there's a lot to come over the next few and I can't wait for you to read it! _

_I've been asked if I have a Twitter and unfortunately I don't, though I do have a tumblr. Check me out at thatfandomblogg and feel free to message me there also._

_See you all in four days! _


	25. Chapter 25

_Last time:_

_Lindsey was silent for a moment, though it was clear to Sandy that she had an idea in her head and was merely trying to think of a way to phrase it. Her patience grew thinner with every passing second and wasn't helped when Lindsey looked up, opening and closing her mouth a few times, as if the words she was about to say physically hurt her._

_After a painful few minutes, Lindsey stilled, took a deep breath and turned fully to Sandy._

_"I think we really need to consider getting Jason sectioned."_

"What?" Sandy gasped, unable to believe that Lindsey was the first to say it. Sure, she had vaguely thought about it, but everytime the word 'sectioning' entered her mind she cast it aside, determined to stop thinking about it completely. Sandy was not going to send her child away, not without fighting for him first. "I can't do that, you can't seriously expect... not to my baby."

"It's protocol Sandy, you know that and he's at serious risk of hurting himself further than he already is. He needs professional help and whilst I'd love for Jason to make the first step and go to an inpatient himself facility, I don't think it's going to happen anytime soon."

"But there must be something we can do," Sandy urged, the words that had been circling her mind rushing out of her mouth as she tried to dissuade Lindsey. "We're both qualified doctors, we should be able to handle this, I mean we haven't even tried anything yet, we've just found out about it." Lindsey sighed, feeling immense sorrow for the near hysterical woman by her side, but also seeing sense in her words.

"Okay," she nodded reluctantly. "We do everything we can to help, but Jason will need professional counselling and we have to make him take his insulin. We both have experience in these sort of things and it may just be enough to help him."

"Thank you," Sandy smiled weakly, running a hand through her hair. "I just, it sounds stupid, but I just need to do everything I can to help Jason myself. Sending him away as soon as I find out about it, seems... unfair. I want to do as much as I can to help as before I even consider getting him sectioned. If Jason doesn't improve, then we'll get some doctors in to assess him, but not before."

"I think that sounds sensible," Lindsey mused. "It'll show Jason that we trust him, that we want him to recover on his own terms. We shouldn't tell him about the possible sectioning though, he may see it as a threat and could fall even further off the rails."

"So where do we start?" Sandy asked the younger woman, dozens of ideas already coming up to the surface of her own mind. She was prepared to do anything and everything she could to save her son.

}}}}}}}

"Thought you were doing coursework?" Freddie called to Robbie when he saw the younger boy walking up the garage driveway, a murderous look on his face.

"Yeah and I were," Before Robbie could let rip, Freddie held up a hand, effectively silencing him.

"Please tell me you haven't done anything stupid." He begged, noting the way Robbie was cradling his hand. Fearing for the worst, he grabbed the younger Roscoe's hand and winced at the impressive swelling.

"This didn't all come from punching Jase earlier did it?" By now both Joe and Ziggy had stopped working and had come over, exchanging worried glances.

Robbie looked sheepish, unable to look at his older brothers. "We may have... exchanged words earlier." When the others said nothing and just looked at him pointedly, Robbie sighed and elaborated. "I came into our room and he'd trashed the place, no idea why, wouldn't tell me."

"So you punched him?"

"No. First I asked what he'd done, then I told him we were only trying to help him, _then_ he provoked me and then I punched him."

"Robbie!" Joe cried, annoyed at his younger brother's actions. "You can't just act without thinking, Jase'll never trust us properly-"

"No wait," Freddie interrupted Joe. Shouting at Robbie wouldn't fix anything, so instead he let himself think, mind jumping onto one thing that Robbie had said earlier. "Do you have any idea why Jason trashed your room? Was he acting weird when you found out?"

"Of course he were, but when isn't he? And no, wouldn't tell me why when I asked and we all know how it ended when I pushed for questions." At this, Robbie raised his injured hand.  
"But was he hiding something?" Freddie asked, urging for Robbie to remember anything, to help them. "Was he jumpy? Did he try to change the subject randomly?"

Robbie was silent for a moment, casting his mind back to the earlier event. "Actually yeah. I was trying to show him that we care, that we want to help him get better and then he went on bout me being dramatic or something.

"Then he were saying things, not answering my questions or nothing, just making these... accusations and I just snapp-"

"And let me guess, he went around playing on words but basically implying that he thought you're gay. And we all know what happens when someone says that to you," Ziggy sarked, correctly guessing what had gone down between the two brothers and rolling his eyes as he spoke. "He knows you Rob, he knows how to push your buttons, the biggest of which is saying you're gay. It's like your kryptonite or something.

"Everyone knows you feel the stupid need to assert your masculinity when that happens. I bet you didn't say anything else about him having an eating disorder did ya? No, you were too busy beating him to a pulp!"

"I'm sorry alright! I just reacted." Robbie yelled, glaring at the others and setting his shoulders back, trying to hide the fact that he was so obviously ashamed of his own actions.

"Well you can't bruv," Joe told him firmly, trying to show Robbie that they weren't angry at him, that they didn't blame him for Jason's current state. "You've got to keep a clear head, Jase is making accusations left, right and centre because he don't want us interfering.

"But Freddie didn't bail when Jason told us all that he was blackmailing him, me and Lindsey didn't call it a day when he was insulting her and you can't neither. You have to be strong, look past it because he don't mean it."

"Joe's right," Freddie said softly. Jason's lie yesterday still hurt him deeply and it would probably haunt him till the day he died. For his own brother to say something that _twisted_ was devastating because it made it bloody difficult to still want to help him.

But that was the point of the lie and Freddie was eternally grateful that the others had all seen through it, because if he had been on the other side... If he had seen Jason's performance, well he wasn't sure he wouldn't believe the younger Roscoe.

"The insulin were in there wasn't it?" Robbie groaned suddenly, realising fully why Jason had wanted him gone so quickly, so he couldn't find it.

"Well we could always go back and look for it now?" Ziggy suggested dourly after a moment's silence, when the others had let the revelation sink in, all cursing themselves for missing a golden opportunity.

"Chances are he'll have moved it by now, maybe even got rid of it," Joe sighed, cradling his head in his hands. "But who knows where he'll have put it."

"I think I might," Robbie told the others, eyes shining. "I ran into him again, bout ten minutes ago. He was at the back of the club acting dead shady and he was definitely going to leave before he saw me."

"You reckon he's put it there?"

"Well it makes sense, what other reason would he have to be there? He probably put it in one of the bins, that way we'd never find it."

"Well lets go," Freddie said determinedly, already putting away his tool-kit. None of the others argued with him, tidying up as best they could, before locking up and rushing to the centre of the village.

"He was right here," Robbie told them breathlessly once they'd made their way to The Loft. "Standing by the bin for ages before he saw me."

There were only two bins by the gate, both half-full, their lids nowhere to be seen. Joe grimaced as he and Freddie pushed the black barrels over, empty plastic cups, paper and other... questionable things tipping out onto the courtyard.

The four brothers fell to their knees, going through plastic bags but ultimately coming up empty. "Are you sure he put it here?" Ziggy asked, wiping the gunk off of his hands.

"I'm not sure about anything anymore," Robbie replied grimly, standing the bins back up, though he made no effort to put the rubbish back. "But there's no way the insulin is still in the house."

"He could of dumped it anywhere between here and there then," Freddie suggested, not liking the outcome if it proved to be true.

"Please tell me we're not gonna be looking through bins all afternoon," Ziggy groaned. "That's just dire."

"Sorry Zig," Joe smiled grimly. "But it's all we got."  
"It's just a bit excessive is all I'm saying, going through all the bins in the bloody village."

"Well, more like half," Robbie grinned, amused at his brother's dramatics. "But we need that insulin and soon. Even though Mum and Lindsey believe what's going on and can help, us not finding the insulin may make it harder to get Jason the help he needs. I'm doing anything I can to make sure Jason gets any treatment he needs and soon, because who knows what could happen if we don't."

The others were silent for a moment, surprised by Robbie's empassionate declaration and wrapping their heads around the change in their youngest brother.

Before they could leave the courtyard, Freddie spoke up, breaking the heavy silence. "What if we're wrong and the insulin is still in the house?"

"Then we split up," Joe decided. "You and Freddie can look through the house, me and Zig will take the streets."

"I hate every single one of you." Ziggy groaned again, lifting the tension as he mocking glared at Freddie and Robbie as they went to leave, both chuckling lightly under their breath.

"Oh stop complaining and lets go yeah?"

}}}}}}

"What the hell is Novolog?" Holly questioned as she stared at the glass vials that were laid out in front of her and Ruby. The two girls had left the village square shortly after they had found the bag that Jason had dumped, making a quick detour back to Price Slice so Holly could serve the disgruntled customers before going up to her flat.

Once there, they'd emptied the bag completely, laying the vials onto the kitchen table, at a loss what to do next. Each of the vials were identical and had the word 'Novolog' pasted all over the label, with a small list of information and numbers, which did nothing but confuse the two girls.

Grabbing her phone, Ruby opened a search engine and typed the brand name in, impatiently waiting for the results to load. "Novolog is a fast acting insulin," she read out, sharing a confused glance with Holly.

"Insulin? Like diabetes insulin?"

"There's another type?" Ruby asked dryly.

"Shut up," Holly snapped, not in the mood. "I just mean, well I don't know a lot about diabetes apart from what I learned in biology, but I was under the impression you kind of need to take this stuff to live."

"You do, it stops the blood glucose levels from rising too high." Ruby told her, reciting what she had learnt from previous science lessons, still scrolling on her phone and trying to get a clear picture of what was happening to her friend.

"So why was Jason throwing his away? There's loads of this stuff here and none of it's been used. Why wouldn't he take it?"

"I don't know, but I think we should tell his brothers," Ruby decided. "I bet you this was what Robbie was looking for, meaning they already know he's not taking it, but if it wasn't, then they need to know anyway." As she spoke, Holly bit her lip in obvious turmoil, not liking having to go behind her boyfriend's back, but at the same time, seeing the sense in Ruby's plan.

"We could try talking to Jason first-"

"And what?" Ruby interrupted. She knew what Holly was getting at, but she had to be rational. Jason was her friend and she cared greatly for him, but there was no chance that he'd sit down and tell them everything that was going on, not if that way he had been acting around Robbie was anything to go by.

She worried for Jason though, when they had first met he had seemed quiet though generally very happy and laidback, but over the last few weeks she had seen a change in him. He had begun to withdraw more and more, always having excuses to not hang out with her, Esther, Phoebe or the others outside of school, and even then he was distant.

Because of that, the group had begun to do the same, Phoebe was barely civil to him on the best of days and the others weren't much better. Ruby had tried to act normal, but she had a wide circle of friends, meaning she wasn't always there.

On the days that she was with some of the girls from her Health and Social care class, she'd often see Jason on the edge of the group, not saying anything and looking like he'd rather be anywhere else. Something was wrong with her friend, that much was evident, but Ruby had no idea of where to even start, though his family may be able to help.

That was why she knew they couldn't go to Jason, he'd deny everything and possibly alienate them further and she wanted to be there for him, to support him if need be. His family however, were a completely different story.

They might be able to explain what was going on and Ruby knew they needed to be shown the bag of insulin, it was too dangerous to keep them in the dark. She explained all of this to the younger girl, though Holly still looked conflicted.

"I just feel like I'm betraying him," she revealed. "We're meant to trust one another and I don't really want to keep this from him, especially if he finds out we were the ones who showed the insulin to his family."

"But keeping it from them is even worse. I don't know what Jason's playing at, but it says here if you don't take your insulin you could go blind or have a stroke. They need to know if they don't already Hol, if you really cared about him, and not just what he thought of you then you'd see that." Ruby snapped, not caring when the blonde bristled.

Her friend was possibly in great danger and she didn't have time for little girls that had been treating him like pure crap for months on end. She didn't know what was going through Holly's mind, but if Jason was just going to be her latest accessory and then thrown to the side when someone 'better' came along, well she'd have plenty to say on the matter.

"Is that what you really think of me?" Holly asked, her tone dangerous. "That I don't actually care about him."

"Well what do you really know about him? You've barely given him the time of day since he got here and now you two are suddenly dating. I just don't get it," Holly was silent for a moment, trying not to react violently to Ruby's words. Unfortunately she saw the truth in them and the older girl's comments were completely valid, despite the fact that Ruby had seemingly be ready to accept the relationship only a little while earlier.

What did she actually know about Jason Roscoe? As she tried to think, her mind kept coming up with a blank. They'd spent such little time one-on-one that they really didn't know a lot about the other, all she knew was that he liked horror movies!

But didn't everything start off like that? You could never know everything about everyone instantly, but you learnt more and more as you got to know the person, and that was the joy in it. Sure she didn't know trivial things like Jason's middle name or his favourite colour, but she knew that she liked him. Shouldn't that be enough for now?

He had a kind soul and in their few interactions she had seen that he had a dry yet tasteful sense of humour. She had started looking forward to the next time she would speak to him and there was a spark between them, which was always growing.

So, just because she didn't know a lot about him yet, didn't mean that would always be the case.

"I admit, I was a complete bitch to Jason when we first met, but you will not believe how ashamed I am because of it. I do like him and there's nothing wrong with that, nor is there with being in a

relationship with him. It may not work out, but it may be the best thing to happen to me.

"Don't you ever dare try to insinuate that I don't care about him, if I wanted to be in a relationship for my image or my popularity then there are a hell of a lot of other people who I could be with that aren't him.

"But I'm not because I want to be with Jason. And the reason why I'm not sure about telling his family about the insulin is because I don't want him to be wary of me or think that I would betray his trust whenever I felt like it. I know it's the right thing to do, I just don't want to go behind his back."

"And you think I do?" Ruby asked, trying not to snap. She saw that Holly had Jason's best intentions at heart and she believed what she said, but that didn't mean Ruby was any less wary. Girls their age were extremely fickle and whilst she may feel that way for Jason now, it didn't mean it'd be the same next month, or even next week.

But she was willing to give Holly the benefit of the doubt, for now at least.

"Jason is probably one of my best friends, I don't want to ruin that by running to his family, but I've looked at the whole picture and you need to too. What Jason may be doing is so dangerous Holly, us telling Sandy may be the thing to save him. I can't have him going blind or losing a kidney be on my conscience, there's too much there already."

Holly was quiet for a moment, in obvious turmoil. "Okay," she finally nodded. "I'll call Robbie."

_You would not believe the difficulty I had uploading this chapter. I had just finished editing it, was about to save it before downloading the file on to fanfiction, and then the power went. For one and a half hours! When it came on, the editing was all gone and I had to re-start. So if there were any hideous spelling mistakes I do apologise, because I'm tired and may have missed something. _

_Apart from that, I loved writing this chapter, because it really helps show the conflict between everyone and what they believe they should do regarding Jason, seen with Sandy and Lindsey and then Ruby and Holly. _

_I love the Sandy and Lindsey dilemma most though, because I see a lot of similarities in the two women, both professionally and personally. I think it also further highlights how difficult the situation is for Sandy, because she'll know protocols and such, a lot more than Lindsey, but like with a lot of people, they are sometimes blinded to their relatives troubles, believing they can be the ones to make it all better, even when logic says otherwise._

Sorry, rambley note is rambley, and I said I'd stop doing that. 


	26. Chapter 26

"Well it's definitely not in here," Robbie whispered quietly to Freddie, as he tidied up one of the kitchen cupboards. The two brothers had gotten back to the house shortly after separating from Joe and Ziggy, both more than prepared to tear the house apart from top and bottom, only they had met a few... problems along the way.

And all of those problems were the current company. Both Sandy and Lindsey were in the living room, pouring over papers and leaflets and muttering quietly to one another.

It was obvious they were doing something about Jason, (who in their family wasn't nowadays?), but their way of helping him would be completely different to the four brothers methods, and Robbie and Freddie were well aware that the only thing they'd be getting from the two women would be a bollocking.

The added drama wasn't needed, so they'd been working around the living room, trying to stay as quiet as possible and keeping each room as clean as they could, not an easy task when you were going through everything with a fine tooth comb, but necessary if they wanted to stay out of trouble.

The other factor to their dilemma was the fact that Jason was also home. He was locked away in his room, music blaring loudly through the foundations of the house, making it clear he wasn't happy.

Though both Freddie and Robbie doubted very much that he'd leave the confines of his room at any time that evening, they kept their wits about them, in case Jason did decide to grace them with his presence.

"There's no way it's here," Freddie replied lowly, hoping that Joe and Ziggy would be able to find the damned insulin, the location of which was causing them all hell. "We've looked everywhere."

"So what do we do now?"

"Wait for the others. It's crap but what else can we do?" Robbie sighed in agreement at his older brother's words, grabbing his phone from his pocket to see if either Joe or Ziggy had text him, and only rolling his eyes when he saw it was out of battery.

"Typical," though he didn't move to grab a charger. Instead he turned to Freddie, taking a deep breath before asking the question which had been weighing heavily on his mind since last night.

"What do we do even if we find the insulin? I mean, we're putting so much effort into finding it, but what's next? I know I said earlier that the insulin could be a way to getting Jason some seriously needed help even sooner, but I don't know if that's true, us finding it may do nothing to help J."

Freddie was silent for a moment, trying to figure out what to say before he opened his mouth. "I'm not sure what us finding the insulin will do," he answered truthfully. "I'm just trying to focus on that now, but I don't have a clue what to do next. I've got no idea what's the best thing to do for Jason and I'm scared that if I do do something then I'll just make it worse.

"I've been in fights, got on the wrong side of the law and so much worse, but this is completely new. And it's not just some randommer, it's my brother. Honestly, I'm really hoping Mum or Lindsey will know what to do, it's selfish but they have more experience than all of us and now that they know, well it's a bit easier I guess. But if finding that insulin, helps Jason just a fraction of a bit, then there's no way in hell that I'm stopping searching."

Robbie nodded, not liking the answer one bit, but he had little doubt that there would be an answer that he did like. The two brothers were silent for a moment, trying to think of anything they could now do to help the situation, but both coming up blank.

Before they could admit defeat to one another, Jason entered the kitchen, shooting a cautious look at his two brothers. No-one said a word and one could literally hear a pin drop the silence was so heavy.

The tension between the three was thick and no-one knew quite what to do. Eventually Jason moved away, grabbing a glass and filling it with water. "Weirdos," he muttered under his breath, though it was clear they were both meant to hear it.

Robbie tensed, suddenly aching for another fight, anything to snap Jason out of it and make him see sense, though Freddie made sure to block his path, that was the last thing they needed. It was the first time Freddie had seen Jason since that morning and he had to physically bite his lip to stop the gasp of shock that would have been released otherwise.

Robbie had done a real number on their brother, the left side of his face was already bruising darkly and his cheek had puffed slightly. His eye was also looking a bit heavy too, but it shouldn't bruise as much as the cheek and jaw.

"You're going to want to put some ice on that," Freddie said softly, hoping to rebuild some of the broken bridges between the pair, though it looked unlikely when Jason stiffened, his eyes blazing when he turned back to face both of his brothers.

"Obviously." He snapped, slamming the glass of water onto the side, its contents sloshing all over the place "What are you both doing in here anyway? Don't you have more lives to ruin?"

Neither brother said anything, sharing guilty looks with one another and refusing to look directly at Jason.

"Oh I see," he mocked, mouth twisting into a sadistic smile. "You were looking for it weren't you? That insulin you've been bleating on about since last night."

"Just tell us where it is," Robbie snarled, making sure to keep his voice down, though Sandy and Lindsey seemed unaware of what was going on.

"You'll never find it," Jason smirked, keeping his cool front up.

"Don't underestimate us Jase," Freddie said lowly, keeping his grip on Robbie's arm tight, lest he snap and lunge for Jason once more. "We're not giving up till you're better, insulin or not."

"Looks like you're in for a long wait, seeing as I'm fine."

Unwilling to have the same argument once more, Robbie shrugged off Freddie's grasp and pushed his way forward. "You keep saying that and if you're happy being in denial then keep going, but we know the truth and we're not going to bury our heads in the sand. No, we're going to do something to help you, and you might not now, but one day you'll thank us."

This time, it looked like Jason wanted nothing more to do than deck Robbie and Freddie pushed himself forward, blocking the twins once again. Before either boy could protest at his interference, a very bedraggled Joe and Ziggy tumbled into the kitchen, both smelling a little ripe.

"That was the grimmest thing I've ever done," Ziggy groaned, pulling his t-shirt off and throwing it into the empty washing machine. "Seriously, you owe us."

He fell silent as he saw Jason, unable to take his eyes off of the impressive bruising. "What the fuck have you been doing?" Said brother asked, looking suspiciously between all four boys..

No-one said anything for a moment, though Joe, Freddie and Robbie all glared at a sheepish Ziggy. "You wouldn't believe the state of the cars this afternoon bruv," he weakly said, not looking surprised when the look of suspicion on Jason's face just grew.

"Well, I'm assuming, going by those looks of pure _victory_ that you didn't find what you were looking for. Which I'm guessing was my insulin, seeing as that is all you're talking about these days," Jason drawled, and despite the cool tone of his voice, there was little missing the panicked look written all over his face. "Although, that's not really surprising."

All four brothers looked like they wanted to say something, though the silence of the kitchen wasn't broken. They'd been saying the same things over and over with no effect, in fact they were doing nothing more than completely alienating Jason as he only grew more and more spiky.

"Well, not that this isn't fun," Jason finally said, draining his glass of water. "But I think I'm going to leave you all to... whatever it is you're doing with your lives. Also, Joe, Zig, I don't even want to know what you two were doing, but you smell slightly homeless and it's making me feel sick."

Before anyone could reply to the uncharacteristic dose of sarcasm (though nothing seemed normal for Jason anymore), the younger Roscoe had turned heel and was already halfway up the stairs.

"Brilliant. Just brilliant." Joe groaned as the twin's bedroom door slammed shut.

"Were he right?" Robbie asked after a moment's hesitation. "Did yous not find anything?"

"Nothing at all mate," Ziggy replied, his voice tinged with both regret and sorrow. "And we honestly looked everywhere we could think of."

"There's nothing here either," Freddie told Joe and Ziggy, empathising with their annoyed looks. After all, they'd both been counting on the other to find the insulin, but if none of them had managed it, where had it gone?

"I think this is getting ridiculous now," Ziggy told the others, hoping his thoughts wouldn't be beaten down. "We've looked everywhere for that stuff, spent almost a whole day solely focused on it and nothing. And we can't exactly know that we'll find it tomorrow, if we spend all that time looking, because we don't know what Jason's done with it.

"I think we should just give up looking for it, if we find it, we find it, but at the moment, this searching is doing more harm than good. I think we just need to solely focus on helping Jason, and trying to show him that we're there for him and don't want to alienate or purposefully hurt him."

No-one said anything for a moment, trying to take in Ziggy's words and come to terms that what they were doing, wasn't the best thing for their brother.

"It's not often that you're right Zig," Joe said slowly, testing his words. "But I think you are this time. We just need to do anything and everything we can to help Jason."

Freddie and Robbie nodded, the four brothers in complete agreement.

}}}}}}}}}}

As soon as he was alone, bedroom door tightly closed behind him and brothers all still in the kitchen, Jason let the mask drop, fat ugly tears falling down his face as he tried to keep control of his breathing.

Why couldn't they just keep their mouths shut? Why couldn't they just leave it all alone? It didn't concern them, it had _nothing _to do with them, but still they blundered on in their misguided attempt to help. Automatically, Jason grabbed his phone from the side, pulling the case off and letting the sharpener blade fall into his hand, furiously slicing as the tears continued falling.

_You deserve this, this is all your fault you fat fucker! They wouldn't know if you' weren't such a loser. If you were smarter. Sneakier. Better. You're just crying out for attention that's all. You love it, don't you? Love that their finally caring about you, after all those years of nothing._

They don't love you though, they never have and they never will. They just pity you is all, feel sorry for you, after all why wouldn't they? But they're ashamed of you. You're useless. You're nothing, just nothing. 

It was right, the little voice in the back of his head that was growing louder and stronger with every passing day. He did deserve everything he got, after all he did bring it all onto himself. If he had hidden it better, hadn't been so obvious, hadn't been so weak then no-one would have gotten suspicious.

Freddie and Robbie wouldn't have searched his bedroom, they wouldn't have found the insulin. No-one would have known and he wouldn't be having to do the most difficult things in his life. He loved his family more than anything else, and they had all used to be so close, but he was ruining that all now.

With his lies poisoning his bonds to them all, Jason knew it was only time before they all got sick of it and gave up. It was awful, but he knew he had to continue till that happened.

If he couldn't have them not suspecting, he could have it so they hated him so much that they just didn't care what he was doing to himself. He didn't want to do it, but he _had _to, if they weren't going to leave him alone willingly, he wasn't going to give them a choice.

}}}}}}}}}

"Robbie's still not answering," Holly sighed as the call went to voicemail for the seventh time. Ruby groaned, sending him a short message about the importance of answering phone calls over Facebook before trying to ring him herself.

She wasn't surprised in the slightest when there was no answer, but she childishly threw the phone across the sofa anyway. "Well what can we do?" she asked Holly, who looked just as lost as she felt.

After the first two times that Robbie hadn't answered they had quickly tried to think of something else, but they both came up blank, with neither having any of the other brothers numbers (bar Jason's) and therefore no way to contact any of them.

Since then they'd been periodically calling the youngest Roscoe, though he hadn't picked up. "We could always go out, see if any of them are home." Holly suggested and whilst the idea wasn't fantastic it was the best they had.

"You're not going anywhere Holly!" Cindy Cunningham yelled from her room, ignoring her daughter's annoyed cries. She entered the living room, hair in large rollers and looking incredibly annoyed. "I'm serious, it's Tony's birthday next week and I told you we were all going out to a meal tonight to celebrate."

"But mum-"

"But nothing madam. That man is like family and you're not getting out of this, no way." Cindy's tone softened as she turned to Ruby, though her eyes were still hard, showing there was no way that she was going to let the two girls win. "I'm sorry Ruby, but Holly's going to have to get ready now. I'm sure you understand."

"Totally, sorry I won't keep you," Ruby simpered, trying to keep her annoyance in check. "I'll see you tomorrow Holly?"

The younger blonde nodded frantically, leading Ruby to the door. "Don't do anything without me okay? I... I need to be there."

Ruby nodded, not liking the fact that she had to wait for over half a day more, but there was little that could be done in those hours and she knew that Holly needed answers too. She could do it, wait just one night to get some answers.

That didn't stop her frantically refreshing her Facebook messages all night in case Robbie had replied at any point. He hadn't.

_Poor Jason, he's really not making it any better for himself is he? But will alienating his family actually work, after all, the Roscoes are a stubborn bunch! _

_As always leave a review, they're the highlight of my day! _

_See you all next time. _


	27. Chapter 27

"Tea will be in twenty minutes boys," Sandy called up the stairs. Both her and Lindsey had spent the remainder of the afternoon cooking, coming up with a healthy meal of salmon with boiled potatoes and vegetables.

They'd found in a lot of case studies, recovery was sometimes started by being surrounded by healthy food at home. Though this was often because the eating disorder had been triggered by unhealthy fatty food, something which had never been a problem for Jason before, it didn't hurt to try.

It was a long shot and both women knew it, after all, Jason wasn't taking his insulin but he was still eating like normal. Surrounding him with healthy food was unlikely to do much. though they were both willing to do whatever it took.

Ziggy and Freddie thundered down the stairs, joining Joe and Robbie in the living room, trying to hide the awkwardness and tense atmosphere that had smothered the whole house with loud and brass jokes.

"Someone get Jason please. It's his day to lay the table." Sandy said, checking on the salmon, pleased it hadn't burnt to a crisp. The four brothers tensed, looking at one another, trying to decide who would be the one to risk Jason's wrath. "Now." Sandy told them sternly, not turning away until Joe stood with a sigh, making his way out of the living room.

"You all so owe me," he muttered, throwing a cautionary look towards his mum and fiancée lest they heard him. He jogged up the stairs, knocking on the door lightly and took a step back when the music stopped, moments later the bedroom door was pulled open.

"Yes?" Jason asked, leaning heavily against the frame. The sight of his brother, too weak to even stand properly broke Joe's heart. He may have thought he was fooling everyone with his numerous layers, but Joe saw what they were hiding. There was nothing of his younger brother and Joe dreaded to think how bad it was once you removed half a dozen shirts and jumpers.

"Uh, mum wants you downstairs to lay the table," he finally said, unable to take his eyes off of Jason's tiny form. Why hadn't he seen it before? Jason had been losing weight for months now, but he hadn't even noticed until it was right in front of his face.

He was the eldest, he was meant to look out for his younger brothers and do whatever he could to protect them, the boy that stood in front of him proved that he had done anything but.

"You mind moving then?" Jason snarked when Joe remained too deep in thought to realise that Jason was staring at him harshly. "Can't exactly move through you."

"Uh... yeah course." Joe took a step back, breath catching as Jason slowly made his way past, though before he could get to the stairs Joe caught Jason's arm in his hand, squeaming slightly as he felt bone with ease.

"You do know I'm here for you right? It might not seem like it, but I'm on your side sport, I'll do whatever I can to help you."

Jason was silent for a moment, staring at his older brother in pure disbelief. "Whatever. Excuse me for not believing you though, but the last twenty four hours have kind of proved otherwise."

He wrenched his arm out of Joe's iron grip, getting down the stairs as fast as he could, though not before he threw a chilling glare over his shoulder, stopping Joe from following him for a few moments as he tried to move past the loathing in his little brother's eyes.

When he got downstairs, Jason was silently setting up the table, cutlery loudly banging as he threw it down. The rest of the house was silent, as the occupants watched the frail boy, unable to peel their eyes away from him, wincing with every loud clatter.

"Is there anything else?" Jason asked Sandy with mock meekness, the steely edge in his voice obvious to anyone with half a brain cell, refusing to look at the rest of his family. "Or am I free to go?"

"Why don't you stay down here, dinner won't be long," Sandy suggested, voice wary as she carefully stepped around her son, knowing one wrong move would set him off like a bomb.

Jason finally turned, looking at his brothers, who as one turned away as if they hadn't been avidly staring just moments before, then looking to his mum.

"Fine," he said through gritted teeth, sprawling on his chair and playing with the fork in front of him.

Sandy sighed, wishing she could do anything to break the awkwardness that had consumed the whole house. No-one was speaking, not daring to make a sound in case they caused yet another argument.

She looked at her watch and sighed, hating herself slightly for what she was going to say next, but knowing it would ultimately be for the best.

"Dinner's going to be in fifteen minutes Jase, have you taken your insulin for it?" Everyone turned as one, not even pretending to be minding their own business anymore.

The same thoughts were running through all their heads and they didn't dare breath in case they fractured the moment. They couldn't believe what Sandy had just asked Jason, but were curious to see what he would say.

They all knew what the answer would be, there was no way that Jason would have taken the stuff, but would he admit that or would he try to weasel his way out of it, like he had previously been doing.

The silence stretched on as Jason fiddled with his hoodie sleeve, refusing to look up and meet his mother's eye. "Shall I take the ominous silence as a no then, or will I just let your blood sugar levels tell me the truth."

Jason's head shot up and he looked at Sandy like he was truly seeing her for the first time. All around, Sandy heard the various gasps as the others realised what she meant through her implication, everyone surprised that she wasn't taking this lying down and was actually doing something incredibly drastic about it.

Jason sighed, but didn't say anything as Sandy passed him his insulin kit that she had 'acquired' from his room earlier that day. He pulled out his short-acting insulin, measuring the needed dose and injecting it quickly, throwing the syringe across the table when he was done.

"Happy now?" he snapped, anger obvious in his eyes.

"Not particularly, but it'll do," Sandy replied, moving to grab the plates from the side. She hated herself for doing what she had just done, but if she wanted to help Jason she needed to be the strict mum too. A healthy meal wasn't going to fix her baby, but maybe some tough love would play a helping hand.

Her time as a drugs counsellor meant she had years of experience behind her and whilst there were some differences between those situations and her son's, there were also similarities which could be applied and which she would put to good use.

Putting her foot down was one of those things, if she showed Jason that she wasn't going to leave him, wasn't going to let him continue harming himself like he was, then at least she was stopping him from killing himself physically and she had a plan to help his mental state too, though unfortunately it would need a bit more time.

Taking a calming breath she dished the food out onto the plates (and for once it looked actually edible, apparently following a recipe worked wonders), smiling weakly as Lindsey came into the kitchen to help out.

"You're doing great," she whispered, placing a soothing hand on the older woman's arm. "Seriously, I'm so proud of you, and Jason will thank you for this."

"Just have to wait till the hate filled glares finish right?" Sandy joked weakly, blinking back the tears before making her way to the dining room.

}}}}}}}}

Dinner was an awkward affair and it took all of Jason's self restraint not to run away. Instead he sat in the middle of the table, surrounded by his family, picking at the food and trying to keep control as he practically felt the insulin worm its way around his system.

Although the others were making awkward small talk around him, he knew he was the elephant in the room, both literally and figuratively. They wanted to talk to him, talk about him, he wasn't sure which, but he wished he was anywhere but there.

Instead, he chose to stare at his plate, messing with the food in front of him, trying to keep control of himself and ignoring the small rumblings of his stomach which was begging for the food in front of him.

NO! He didn't need to eat, he couldn't eat, not now. That insulin that his mum had just made him take would mess wonders with his progress, but maybe, just maybe he could salvage it if he refused to eat. There was little chance it would work, but maybe if he had less fat pouring into his body then the insulin would have less to grasp onto.

He could do it, he could stay strong, he didn't need the food in front of him.

But it looked so good! Jason was practically salivating at the sight in front of him, desperately wanting to eat every last morsel and more, to get rid of the constant rumblings and pangs of hunger that ran through him, reminding him of what he was doing and why.

One little bite couldn't hurt, could it? He lifted a forkful of salmon, practically groaning in a mix of delight and relief as it entered his mouth, chewing happily until he swallowed it and the damage was done. Everyone was staring at him, not making a sound as they watched him eat. Correction, as he stuffed his face.

_They're laughing at you, you know. They think you're weak. You can't even starve yourself properly. How the hell do you think you'll ever get thin if you keep eating like that, especially when you're taking all that insulin. Medicine! Pssh it should be called liquid fat, that's all it is after all. _

_They think you're a failure, when you leave that's all they'll talk about. They don't want you to be thin, they're all just jealous of you. You're closer to perfection than they'll ever be and they want to stop it. They're sabotaging you, why can't you see that? _

_You can't let them win, they'll just ruin all your progress, all you've worked for. _

Gagging, Jason struggled to swallow another mouthful of salmon, the food feeling heavy and stringy in his mouth. The taste was too strong, too putrid and even when he'd washed it down with a glass of juice, the taste was still present, refusing to leave.

The others were still staring at him, though he saw Freddie and Robbie exchange a seemingly worried look. 'Probably scared that I've caught onto them,' he thought bitterly, mashing the vegetables on the plate once more before standing.

"I'm not hungry," he told them weakly, leaving the kitchen before their worried looks could penetrate his conscience. Instead, he ran up the stairs, slamming the bedroom door behind him, only losing control once he was alone.

}}}}}}}

Once Jason was long gone, the remaining brothers pushed away from the table, unable to keep up with the pretence of being a normal family. "What was that?" Freddie asked, directing the question at his mum, referencing her earlier act with the insulin. "Forcing him to take it? How's that going to help him in the slightest?"

"Freddie," Lindsey warned him, her tone cold. "Do you really think now is the time?"

"I think now's exactly the time, we want him to trust us, we want him to get better, how is forcing him to take his insulin going to help matters?"

"And you don't think I'm not thinking that right now?" Sandy hissed, standing suddenly, causing her chair to fall to the ground with a loud bang. "Do you know how much I hate myself for making my baby do that to himself? But I have to, because if I can't do anything to help his mental state, I can damn well make sure he's isn't killing him physically."

"But why didn't you talk to us about it first, we might have been able to think of something... saner than that!"

"What? Like you did when you were tearing his room apart and making dozens of conspiracies?" Sandy regretted her words as soon as they left her mouth. Freddie was having a hard enough time as it was, already having to deal with Jason's allegations against him, but to have her shouting the odds at him, also wouldn't bode well.

"That ain't fair mum," Ziggy said, stepping over to his brother, trying to keep the peace as best as he could. "We've all done things that we regret over the last few days, but we can't fight like th-"

"No, let it out mum," Freddie said coldly, the stress and fear that had been a regular constant taking over. "Why don't you say what's really on your mind, come on I'm waiting."

"Freds, calm down," Joe said, trying to placate his younger brother. Freddie rarely lost control like he was doing so now, and it just hammered home how much of an effect Jason was having on them all.

"No, I won't calm down. Why should I? Jase isn't targeting any of yous, making out that you've been blackmailing him, no that's been me! And you know why he's been doing that? It's because I'm the only one here who isn't blind. I'm the only one who saw what's been going on under our own noses, and tried to do something about it."

"Don't you dare say that," Joe said, astounded at what Freddie was insinuating. "You're making it sound like we don't even care about Jase,"

"Well you might as well not, after all, you hadn't exactly been doing a lot to help him out before I pointed it out. Joe, you didn't even believe me or Rob when we told you, had to see the bloody evidence for yourself. If I hadn't said anything, you'd all probably be carrying on now, completely oblivious and wrapped up in your own _troublesome_ lives."

Before Joe could say or do anything he'd regret, a single shout stopped the family in their tracks. "Stop it!"

They all turned to Robbie, who was standing in the middle of the living room trying to keep full control of his emotions. "We shouldn't be bloody arguing, not now, not about this. Jason needs our help and it doesn't matter who _found out first_ or if someone didn't tell the other something, because it all kind of pales in comparison when you remember that he's actually killing himself right now."

Silence drowned the room, no-one able to meet Robbie's eyes as shame flooded through them, the youngest Roscoe was right. Their fickle arguments didn't matter, they didn't have the luxury of completely alienating one another, not when one of their own was struggling.

"Jason's my twin, I need to help him, no matter what."

"And we will Robbie, believe me when I say that," Sandy said, her tone strong, leaving no room for any doubt. "But we need to all work together if we want Jason to get better, us fighting with one another isn't going to help anyone."

"So that's why you didn't tell us about your little ploy then," Freddie muttered, rolling his eyes as both Lindsey and Joe glared at him.

"Look I'm sorry about that, but both me and Lindsey decided we need to be stricter with Jason's insulin intake. If he refuses to take it, then we have to make him, I hate myself for doing that to him, but it's necessary. I'm not going to let him die."

"Well that's all fine and dandy, but what about when we're not with Jason?" Ziggy spoke up, seeing the instant flaw in their plan. "Like those five days a week he's at school. Robbie's already said they don't hang out in the same social circles and even if they did, he can't exactly pin Jase down and force him to take the stuff."

"That's why we have another part of the plan," Lindsey spoke up, laying a comforting hand on Sandy's shoulder as she took a shuddering breath, trying to keep in control of her emotions. "Making Jason take his insulin may save him physically, but it's going to do nothing for his short term mental well being. This is a short fix, it would never work long term, but tomorrow we're going to talk to Jason about getting some counselling."

"He's never going to agree to that," Robbie told them, knowing the two women would be well aware of this fact already.

"It's not going to be up for discussion though. We've already phoned the school, and the counsellor has slotted Jason into an appointment for a minimum of two sessions a week. It should at least be a starting point of recovery for him. We're playing this by the book, I'm not risking my son's life."

"And what if that doesn't help?" Freddie asked, hating himself for asking the difficult questions, but they needed to be voiced. "Loads of people talk to the school nurse about their 'problems', not a lot walk away recovered."

"We do have a back up plan, and it's a little more substantial than hunting for Jason's missing insulin." The four boys winced at their mother's words, though they were unsurprised they'd been busted, Sandy Roscoe always had a knack for knowing when her children were getting into trouble.

"If Jason shows no sign of improvement, and the schools counsellor thinks it's the only option, then Jason will be getting assessed for sectioning."

"You're not serious?" Robbie asked, in shock at his mum's words. "You can't be thinking tha-"

"It's not an option I'm thinking of lightly, but there are many things that an inpatient ward will be able to offer Jason that we simply can't. He will of course, be given the option to admit himself voluntarily, but if he chooses not to, then I don't see what other choice we have."

"What would be done then?" Ziggy asked, desperate to know what could possibly happen to his younger brother. "If he was... sectioned?"

"Jason would be need to be assessed by two doctors, one of whom will need to have been approved under the mental health act and have experience regarding eating disorders. Fortunately, the school nurse fits the requirement to be one of the people assessing Jason, and I have someone from my department in mind already to be the second person, if need be.

"If the report goes through, Jason will be placed placed under the mental health act, section two and it means he'll stay at inpatient for a maximum of 28 days, where he'll then be assessed once more. If Jase hasn't shown any signs of improvement he could be put under section three and held for a further six months maximum." Sandy explained to the others, voice catching at the last bit.

To think that her son could be away from her for that long, because of what he was suffering from, pained her to even think about it, but she knew that with every passing day, it was becoming a more and more likely scenario.

Jason needed help and soon, before it was too late. No-one said a word as they tried to let the shocking information sink in, feeling more lost than ever.

}}}}}}}}}}

Hours after the disastrous family meal, Robbie stumbled into his room, sighing lightly as he spotted Jason already in bed, seemingly sleeping soundly. He didn't do anything for a moment, just stared at his brother, heart breaking as he spotted the bruising on his face easily, even under the poor lighting from the hallway.

"I'll fix this Jason, if it's the last thing I do." As expected there was no reply, and Robbie finally moved away, half-heartedly checking his Facebook and noting that he'd received a message from Ruby. Before he could open it, Jason's moan caught his attention.

"Go to bed Rob," he said lightly, glaring at the bright light from the computer screen. He turned away before Robbie could say anything, already breathing heavily, though it was unlikely that Jason was had fallen asleep so quickly.

Not wanting to infuriate his brother further and feeling completely drained, Robbie turned off the computer and stripped to his boxers, climbing to the top bunk and collapsing on the mattress, message long since forgotten.

_Not really a happy chapter, though it's leading the way for many things to come! _

_For anyone that doesn't know, Jason would be taking two types of insulin, short and long term. The short term insulin starts working after ten to fifteen minutes and is generally taken before a meal, to combat the sudden spike of sugar in the body. This normally lasts for three to five hours. _

_Long acting insulin is taken throughout the day and it takes around thirty minutes to an hour to take full effect, though can last from five to twelve hours, depending on the type you take. _

_Also, I hope you can excuse the talk about sectioning and what would happen to Jason if he was sectioned, I know it's not the most exciting thing to read, but it was necessary and the boys would naturally have questions, so it was easy to slot in, I promise there won't be so much information in a huge chunk like that for quite a while. _

_I know that some of you would want to know what could be happening to Jason (I know I would anyway), so I wanted to let you guys know, within the story. _

_If you have any more questions, feel free to ask me! _


	28. Chapter 28

Robbie slept fitfully that night, tossing and turning with no pause and never getting more than forty five minutes sleep in one go. When he awoke for what must have been the eighth time at half seven the next morning, he was unable to go back to sleep and he couldn't quite grasp why.

After a solid ten minutes at staring at the ceiling, the silence of the room enveloping him as he willed his mind to shut up, he realised what was different.

The room was quiet, too quiet. No scratch that, it was silent...

Which meant... he was the only one there. But where was Jason? He couldn't have just gone to the toilet or to get a drink, it didn't take anyone almost fifteen minutes to do that, even if they were dawdling.

But where was he then? Robbie sat up slowly, wiping the sleep from his eyes before jumping down the ladder and onto the floor. Just as he suspected, the bunk below him was empty and when he placed a hand on the still rumpled duvet, it was cold. So Jason had definitely been gone for a long time then.

He frowned, trying to think of his where could be, whilst also attempting to quash the worry that was gradually growing in the pit of his stomach. He left the room, making sure to be as quiet as possible when he began his search of the house. Everyone else would still be sleeping and he didn't want to wake them and start off another dramatic day so early on.

Although he knew it would be pointless, Robbie made sure to check the bathroom first in case Jason was there for some unknown reason. As the door opened with ease Robbie didn't hold back his annoyed groan when he saw it was empty.

Knowing he couldn't give up – afterall Jason could be skulking anywhere, though why he was doing it this early on was a mystery to Robbie – the young Roscoe made his way downstairs, groaning once more as he realised that his twin wasn't anywhere downstairs either.

"Where are you Jase?" He muttered to himself quietly, the worry turning into panic with every passing minute. He couldn't call Jason to try and find him either, having clean forgotten to charge his phone the previous day. Robbie was man enough to admit that he was scared for his brother, in his current mindframe there was no telling what Jason would do, but Robbie was at a loss with what he could do to help.

He sighed, moving to grab his phone from the counter so he could charge it and try to call Jason (though he doubted it would be that simple), when said missing brother slipped through the door, breathing lightly, his face flushed red.

"Where the hell were you?" Robbie hissed, careful to keep his voice down so not wake the others up. "I've been dead worried."

"I went out for a run," Jason replied flatly, shrugging his trainers off and looking thoroughly unimpressed with Robbie.

"It's not even eight yet," Robbie said just as sharply. "What are you doing, going for a run at this time in the morning, on a _Sunday?_"

"I always go running in the morning. Didn't you know?"

No. Robbie hadn't known. Was he that a bad of a brother that he didn't even realise his twin waking up, leaving and then coming back every single morning?

"Don't you go down to the gym most afternoons with Ziggy too? Or box in the garage?" Robbie asked, not sure if his confusion was coming from the obscenely early hour, his lack of sleep or the fact that Jason never seemed to give a straight answer anymore. "Jesus Jase, how much exercise do you do?"

No wonder his brother was so thin, if the lack of insulin wasn't getting rid of the weight then the ridiculously high amount of exercise he did everyday would definitely do it.

"Enough," Jason replied, looking faintly uncomfortable. Before Robbie could carry on with his interrogation, Jason had pushed past him, pouring himself a generous glass of water and downing it in one.

"Thirsty?" Robbie said, making Jason jump from where he was stood, drinking his second glass of water just as quickly as the first. "See that's either the exercise that you've just done, or the fact that you probably haven't taken any more insulin since last night when mum made you take it. And that stuff only lasts for like three hours."

"Why don't you shove off Robbie," Jason snapped, glaring at his brother. "I'm serious, put some clothes on at least."

Robbie flushed, fully realising that he was standing in nothing more than the boxers he had slept in the previous night, having forgotten to grab even a pair of joggers in his worry for the then missing Jason. "You're just jealous of my amazing body," he joked, more on automatic than for any consideration to his current situation.

Unsurprisingly the joke fell flat and Jason's glare didn't die down. Feeling incredibly awkward and realising that joking about Jason's jealously of his body (whether it be true or not), was not exactly... appropriate in their current situation.

Robbie bit his lip, not sure whether he should say anything to try and fix the damage, or just leave it He eventually decided staying quiet would be for the best, and turned to the tumble dryer (still full from the previous day) pulling out a shirt and trousers.

As he quickly changed, he completely missed the envious look that Jason shot him as he wished for nothing more than to look like his brother, pulling the fat of his stomach under his hoodie and wincing at the sharp pain.

"You're so grim," Jason said instead, trying to take his mind off of the pain.

"What? They're clean and I'm dressed now aren't I?"

"Well if you're doing what I tell you, then leave. Now."

Rolling his eyes at Jason's comment, Robbie turned fully back to his brother, jumping up so he could sit comfortably on the kitchen counter. The two brothers stood in silence, unsure of what to say to one another and Robbie cursed. When had it gotten so difficult between them? Before, they used to be able to talk whenever they wished, about anything and everything.

There was no secrets between them and if there was ever a lapse in conversation, it never left an awkward silence. When had that changed?

Oh yeah, when Jason had stopped taking his insulin and started killing himself on some insane mission. "Why do you do it?" Robbie asked, only realising he'd voiced the question when Jason shot him an odd look.

"Do what?" Jason's confusion sounded innocent enough, but the fear painted on his face, showed Robbie he knew exactly what he was talking about.

Robbie cursed the lack of control he had over his brain to mouth filter, though he didn't look away from Jason. Oh well, in for a penny in for a pound.

"Why don't you take your insulin?"

Jason stiffened noticeably, glaring at Robbie. "I don't kn-"

"Don't give me that bullshit Jase, I think we've moved past that stage. I'm not going to argue with you about whether you're taking your insulin anymore, because we both know you're not, but I want to know why. Why do you feel the need to do this to yourself? What is so bad that you can't talk to anyone about it?"

Jason was silent for a moment, but as he opened his mouth, Robbie thought for the first time he might have gotten through to his brother. Maybe, just maybe, Jason had _heard _him and was reacting to he said.

That hope was snuffed out like a candle as soon as he saw the steely determination in Jason's eyes. He wasn't going to get anywhere, not whilst Jason was still protesting.

"Before you go psychoanalysing my life," he began coldly, walking over to Robbie and trapping him where he was sat. "Why don't you do it for yourself first. You've got just as many problems as me Rob, maybe even more. I mean, all those fights you get into, the blackmailing, robbing a shop at gunpoint even, kind of indicates there's something really wrong in your head.

"You're just a scared little boy, desperate for people's attention because you know that in five years time, you'll be nothing but a sad little has-been. You're screaming for attention Rob, desperate to show the world you're not pathetic, but that's exactly what people think of you. You put up this big brave front, desperate to show everyone what you're made of, but we all see through it."

It took all of Robbie's self restraint to stop himself from jumping down from the counter and hitting Jason once more, but his other brothers words from yesterday afternoon rang through his head, keeping him grounded.

He said nothing, staring at Jason's bruises and trying to keep in control of his emotions. He'd already hurt his brother these last couple of days, both physically and mentally, he was not going to do it again. The lack of reaction he gave, seemed to shake Jason slightly, and the two brothers stared at one another, waiting to see who would make the next move.

Eventually, Jason took another step forward, placing his hands on the counter, one on either side of Robbie's legs and opened his mouth, looking like he was going to start his relentless tirade once more.

Before he could say anything else, the kitchen door swung open, revealing a still sleepy Sandy. As she blinked curiously at two of her boys, Jason leaped back like Robbie's touch burned, and made to leave the kitchen.

However, he hadn't even made it fully past Sandy before he was physically stopped. She had placed a hand on his bony shoulder, giving him a dubious look. "Insulin?"

"What about it?" He asked innocently, knowing full well what she meant. He couldn't take his insulin again, he'd already taken too much yesterday and he needed to spend today making up for Saturday's weakness.

"Have you taken it?" Jason opened his mouth, lie at the ready, but Sandy wasn't looking at him, instead staring over at Robbie. "Has he taken it Rob?"

"Doubt it. I ain't seen him take it anyway."

"Cheers mum, thanks for letting me answer." Jason snapped, shrugging her hand off of him.

"So you're saying you have taken it then?" Sandy said smoothly, turning back to Jason and arching a brow. "You'll be willing to take a blood sugar test then."

"Of course you can test. I've taken it this morning, I've got nothing to hide." Jason lied, hoping it wouldn't come to that.

Sandy nodded, ignoring Robbie's shocked look that he sent her way. "You see that's funny, because I put your insulin away in one of the cupboards last night and if I'm right, it won't have moved an inch and there will be exactly the same amount of insulin in the cartridge as there was before."

Jason didn't say anything, choosing to glare at his mum instead, though she ignored it in favour of moving to the far cupboard and opening it, the disappointment obvious as she stared the the insulin, which true to her belief was in exactly the same spot.

Not saying a word, she opened the case, noting the exact same measurement of insulin there had been the previous night.

"Take it Jason," Sandy told him sternly, passing him over the cartridge and waiting for him to fill it out with the necessary amount.

"And if I don't?" Jason said, getting a sick sort of satisfaction from the look that passed over both her and Robbie's faces.

"Don't test me," Sandy said sharply, her voice betraying none of her emotions. "Just take it."

Knowing there was no way he could win this and wanting to avoid another argument, Jason snatched the kit and began measuring out, sharply injecting himself and wincing as he felt the medication enter his system.

"I hate you," he told Sandy, slamming the kitchen door behind him as he left the room, leaving his devastated mum and brother behind.

"He don't mean it mum," Robbie told the older woman softly, jumping off the side and hugging her tightly. "He might not see it now, but we're helping him."

"I know, I know, it's just so difficult seeing him doing this to himself. You're all my babies and I hate seeing any of you hurting, but normally I can do something about it, but this... well I'm at a loss."

"I know mum, we all are." Robbie sighed, hugging Sandy tighter as she sniffed, holding back the tears. "But we'll fix this. We'll do everything we can, but I promise you, we'll help Jason."

Sandy pulled back, smiling through her tears as she squeezed her youngest's shoulders tightly. "I'mso proud of you Robbie, I know I don't always show it, but you're doing me so proud right now. I love baby."

"Love you too mum."

}}}}}}}}}}

"Come on Holly," Ruby groaned, buzzing the flat's doorbell for the fourth time in just as many minutes.

"What?" Cindy's steely tone rung over the feed and Ruby groaned inwardly.

"Sorry if I woke you Ms. Cunningham, is Holly there?"  
"She's probably sleeping, like I was. You do know what time it is right?"

"Yeah, but we agreed to meet up to do some... school work."

"And it couldn't have waited till a more respectable hour?"

"Not really," Ruby said, trying to keep her annoyance in check, as well as making sure to sound as apologetic as possible. "It is half nine though."

"Exactly. Far too early for this. I'll go wake her up then, if it stops your incessant buzzing." The line was silent for a few minutes as Ruby waited impatiently for the younger girl to arrive, checking and re-checking her phone to see if Robbie had gotten back in touch with her, sighing in frustration when she saw everytime that he hadn't.

"I'm so sorry," Holly muttered apologetically when she stumbled out of the front door, passing the bag full of insulin cartridges over to Ruby, before pulling on her jacket. "We didn't get back till late."

"Too busy drowning your sorrows?" Ruby asked sarcastically, though Holly seemed to not hear her as she threw her hair up into a messy bun.

When Holly had straightened herself up slightly, they turned out of the main part of the village, making their way to the Roscoes house. "You ready for this?" Ruby asked seriously as they walked together in complete silence.

"No." Holly answered truthfully, not hiding her nerves. "Jason's going to hate me for this."

"Jason will forgive you. We're doing the right thing, him not taking his insulin is really dangerous and he's obviously caught up in something if he felt the need to get rid of it in the village."

"You're right." Holly said quietly, bracing herself as they entered the street that led to the house. The two girls wandered over to it, their pace slowing the closer they got.

They knew they were doing the right thing, they knew they needed to show Jason's family what he was doing to himself, but that didn't stop the feeling of guilt raising itself up and consuming them.

"Here goes nothing." Ruby muttered, pressing down on the doorbell and hoping that Jason wouldn't be the one to open the door.

Luckily, her prayers were answered, and a stressed looking Freddie opened the door instead. "Jason's not in," he told them shortly, going to close the door behind him, but the two cries stopped him in his place.

"We're not here to see Jason." Ruby told him earnestly, holding up the bag full of insulin and noting the shocked look that passed over Freddie's face, when he heard the clatter of cartridges. "Can we come in? We need to tell you something."

_I'm glad you all seemed to like the explanations I did last chapter, as I was scared I start boring people. _

_Well this seems to be it doesn't it? I mean the family have to finally get hold of the insulin now, it's right under their noses. But don't ever doubt a soap fic, there's so many twists and turns you're bound to get dizzy ;) _


End file.
